Wednesday, March 25, 2009

a thankful heart (444)

I am always amazed how days slip away. Here it is almost the end of March, spring is here according to the calendar while snow falls gently outside my window. I feel like that a little, in my heart I'm leaping and stretching and breaking forth and on the outside my hip hurts, I'm tired and my hair is bad (definately not as pretty as the snow). I can't help but be thankful though, so I continue my gift list...

408. The cooperation exhibited this morning in older brothers helping younger brothers find backpack items, wrap cookies and get them moving toward the bus, what a blessing, especially since the momma woke up a little late.
409. Warbling from the living room as my daughter sings her heart out at the piano with praises to God.
410. a day that holds the potential to include sewing...always a gift to me
411. my bed got made this morning, in the midst of the whirlwind that has been the last week, that is a gift.
412. the individuals that make up my worship arts classes - what a joy to walk alongside and see the excitement grow as we worship and learn together
413. Courts of Praise youth group - what a wonderful group of believers. They so blessed us as they walked with us this weekend.
414. Another Worship Arts Weekend has come and gone and what a gift it was, it doesn't seem fair to give it only one number on this list.
415. Drama - what an amazing way to communicate truth.
416. Music - a gift from a creative God to us, for us.
417. Dance - when words don't do it
418. Art - color, shape, form, woven together to express the thoughts of the heart
419. Herb girls - a little inside joke with my youth girls and niece, what a gift that was to me to sing and play with you.
420. My husband - going on even when he's sick to lead others in worship and 421. the gift of God to him to lift the crappy feeling any time he started to worship.
422. The annointing of the Holy Spirit - I have never seen my husband lead worship with that level of passion before and then to be beside him, leading with him...ahhhhhhhhhh glory (423).
424. Sherry, for making the effort to come and bringing the others with you - yeah, how fun to work beside you once again.
425. All the willing hands to work and clean and cook to make the weekend work.
426. I praise God for the angelic cushions under my son's feet, he jumped off a very high edge and did not hurt himself too badly - thanks be to God
427. For my friend and doctor who doesn't restrict his practice to his office.
428. Salsa - I love my salsa, and it tasted so good last night after a long day.
429. Finding the perfect fabric to make into a dress for my niece's wedding - how fun was that to find!
430. I got to make up a cute, cute purse for myself the other day, love it!
431. a lovely cup of tea just hits the spot and is truly a gift to me
432. sunday afternoon naps where I really sleep, apparently the Lord took me so far in that I didn't hear my son screaming in the same room as me
433. washing machines
434. dryers
435. dishwashers
436. vacuum cleaners
437. central heating
438. air conditioning and fans
439. electric sewing machines
440. electric irons
441. hair dryers
442. water heaters
443. indoor plumbing
The above are the servants of the modern woman, as I read stories of pioneer days and the incredible difficulties that they had to face, the amount of labour involved in simply surviving every day. We are very blessed.
444. Fellow servants in the field, such a gift to walk alongside those who are on the same journey, some who have been there longer who can help you around the pitfalls, truly a gift.

I believe it is time to stop for now and attend to the needs of my household. I simply couldn't let another day go by without adding to this list.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

407 - The gifts of this weekend

393. My God who is so good to me.
394. The Pinel family for coming down this weekend to pour themselves into our youth group.
395. The Massons for coming down and doing the same.
396. Cherie for sharing her journey and encouraging us to abandon the fluff and maybe more.
397. Sarah for allowing God to open your heart.
398. Ashley, Ashton, Tim and Breanna - what a great team you are, you are such a gift to us.
399. Dayne, Ryan and Josiah for going waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy out of your comfort zone, what a gift it was to watch.
400. All of the rest of our youth group who were there and those who weren't, what a gift you are to us.
401. The intercessors who prayed into this weekend and shared their hearts with us, covered us and stood in the gap for us.
402. My amazing kids who let your dad and mom go out every single weekend to spend time with other kids - we love you so much.
403. Reconnections with our family at HOpe, how blessed we are to have been among you for so long.
404. Connections with our family at Hillside, how blessed we are to be here now, working shoulder to shoulder to see God's glory come in our midst.
405. The gift of dance, such an amazing way to worship God with my body.
406. The wonderful women who were brave enough to come dance with me last night, all the giggles and laughter - your best moves, such a gift to me!!
407. The glow of delight on young faces as they explore this new expression, how God must smile.

This weekend we timidly walked into a weekend of exploring the arts in worship with our youth group and some good friends who came to help. None of us knew what to expect, none of us were even sure we wanted to be there, however, we are so glad we moved in obedience. God showed up in our midst and met us in our fear. He gave us beauty for ashes and poured out the oil of his Spirit on us all. My heart is so full, I am fairly bursting.

Friday, January 23, 2009

392 - The gift of prayer

Our home has been a battlefront lately. We are in a battle for our children, fighting the enemy for truth, respect and peace. I'm encouraged by the hope that we might be moving in a direction that the enemy doesn't want us to go in. Since we came back from Kansas City the Lord has shifted our focus and had us enter into a new track that involves a lot of praying. I must confess I have never been a very good pray-er. Since becoming a mom, even less so it seems. Don't misunderstand, prayer happens but not the kind I'd like to see, consistent, focused, effective prayer is what I'd like to see in my life. Truly our busy household makes it difficult to find time to hear yourself think, let alone God. I am thankful for the conversational prayer that I engage in throughout my day but I have greatly desired to have a more focused time where I can intercede. The book Prayer Saturated Kids came into my hands just this week and my spirit has been leaping up and down as I read it. EVERY parent should read that, it is practical, hands on and do-able. I love it.

Our kids were impacted by Kansas City as well, they are much more eager to pray than ever. We're seeing the fruit of this and we're happy about it. One morning we were having a very difficult time getting to a place of peace, the child causing most of the disturbance left the family circle as we stood to take a stand against the enemy, it left a hole there and so we asked for another sibling to go stand in the gap, they responded immediately. (390) On another day when our volatile son was having a meltdown outside with dad, the rest of us gathered and prayed for them, I asked them to listen to the Lord and then pray as the Lord led them, they did, it was powerful (391). On Wednesday morning Sam woke up with a really sore throat and a terrible cough, since we were heading to the city we had already made arrangements for all the kids that weren't in school and we simply didn't have a time and place for a sick kid. I prayed over him, gave him some homeopathic medicine and he was perfectly healthy by the time the bus came, in fact, he hasn't shown any signs of a cold since that time. Praise the Lord, our own little miracle to boost their faith and mine (392).

I'm just rambling this morning, hoping that you'll be encouraged to pray as I am. I want to make it my first line of defence rather than my last resort, which is what I am inclined to do far too often. I hope this will encourage you to do the same. I know the power of prayer and yet I don't tap into it, that is just stupid. Today, I will holding a prayer meeting with my kids to get rid of our mouse infestation before we have company next weekend...I'll let you know how it goes, it's all out war against the rodents here!!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Gifts of the season (389)

I sat down at the computer to write because it was a quiet moment. Before I could sign in I was surrounded. I'm going to persevere because a rare and wonderful thing is happening in my kitchen this morning. My #2 son decided to make a 'fancy' breakfast for me this morning, he tried for breakfast in bed but I deterred him because I was just too grumpy to accept that offer. So now the table is set with a cloth and crystal water goblets. This volatile boy is quietly directing traffic and not reacting badly to the interruptions and infringements of his younger siblings. It's bordering on miraculous.



There are so many thoughts that I'd like to share today I'm not sure where to start.



The trip!

360.
Colorado Springs is a beautiful piece of God's creation - red rocks, plains, mountains, trees, snow and warm weather!
361.
Compassion International
362.
New Life Church (huge but a beautiful service)
363.
Focus on the Family
365.
Sasha's delight in his birthday party
366.
Garden of the Gods - a wonderful drive or walk-through place created by God for us to marvel at - huge rock formations jutting out of the ground in random patterns.
367.
The nice neighbors that gave us buckets of water for our last night in the cabin when we ran out of water.
368.
We ran out only on the last night AFTER the washing machine had finished the rinse cycle.
369.
Kaleidoscope - a neat little place that Hallmark Cards created for families to come and enjoy 45 minutes of unstructured free-for-all creativity with all their stuff - glow in the dark markers, melted crayon pictures, black light, puzzle makers, all kinds of ribbon, paper, shapes all in a kid-friendly environment - at no cost!!
370.
International House of Prayer in Kansas City Missouri - they put on a conference called ONE THING at no cost to any registrant - there were 16,000 people there.
371.
They took offerings for the poor, their costs were completely covered by the second night of the conference so they gave away a whole pile more, because they could.
372.
Their philosophy of copyright is the right to copy, they just want the word of God to go forth with profit, all their teaching notes are there for our use.
373.
Ministry to the children during the conference - for $30/child they were engaged in training at their level for each of the main sessions - if we had wanted to they could have been in there for 27 hours of training - not a bad deal I'd say!
374.
Sasha and Elizabeth were too young to participate in the chilren's equipping time so they were with us and they did so amazingly well - that was a real gift.
375.
Color Wonder - a gift to the parent of church-going toddlers.
376.
God's safety as we travelled, an accident occurred right in front of us in the middle of the night, no one was injured, we just knew that our angelic host was right there with us - a benefit of having a big family - lots of angels!!
377.
Minimal fighting and crankiness in the van as we travelled.
378.
Hundereds of sweet memories to last us a lifetime.
379.
Kelly's mom and dad invited us over on Sunday for the afternoon, what a lovely time, just enjoying each other's company and watching the cousins play.
380.
A warm welcome home by our church family.
381.
The amazing diversity in the family of God that calls us and trains us to do such different things.
382.
The worship leaders at the conference were so good at taking us into the throne room, we brought two CDs back with us that lift us to the high place!
383.
Wonderful hotel staff that always seemed friendly - even in the middle of the night.
384.
The warm community of ladies that work together to make quilts for the less fortunate that I am blessed to be a part of - we had such a lovely time this week.
385.
Hand-written letters from friends you haven't talked to in awhile. I got 2 of those this season and they moved my heart that was such a gift.
386.
All of the other cards and letters that were sent were certainly a gift as well, so many pictures and accounts of God's blessing through the year - we are truly blessed to be on the receiving end of such wonderful friends. (Especially when we haven't sent out a single one this year!!)
387.
Mornings when our little one wakes up with a dry diaper. That is happening more and more often, we are getting awfully close to no more diapers at all!!
388.
Fun flannels that are being made into jammies for that same little girl.
Okay, last one for today (389) my omelet is ready and I am being called to the table. The rest will wait for another day.



The trip was fabulous, we weren't even anxious to get it over with! I am convinced that the best things about this trip were definately the free ones. They were gifts and I think I will list them as such...

Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas day gifts

We had a lovely Christmas Day enjoying each others company, playing games, eating, watching movies, building forts, playing in the snow, chasing deer, taking pictures and such things. It was really a nice day even though we weren't in our own home or with other family, which felt a little strange really. We were getting ready to open gifts and I was feeling a little sad that my lovely tree was back at home when I realized the fake tree in the corner had a little green cord coming out the bottom...lights, I plugged it in and we had a makeshift Christmas tree. I had sewed the kids little doves for their Christmas ornamnet this year and so we hung them on the three...ta da!! decorations. it was a nice little gift!

Another gift was that our 10 year old with learning difficulties who hates to read out loud volunteered to read the scripture that Kelly had picked out for the morning, that was sweet. And yet another gift, everyone actually was happy with their gifts, no complaints. We had almost zero fighting that day which was a gift as well.

Noemi gave us Settlers of Catan for Christmas so we played that and loved it. She and Josiah played three games in a row by themselves. Now it's off to bed. Tomorrow we start out early to head to Focus on the Family for Sasha's birthday party, I can hardly wait to see his face. yes, I will lie to him and tell him we'll have his party when we get back just so I can see how excited he is when he finds out we're having his party there. He's one of those kids that reacts so wonderfully well to things, I can hardly wait!!!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Colorado adventures

So here I am in Colorado on Christmas Eve watching Santa Claus 2 with my stinky boys. Seriously, my boys are blowing off the most disgusting gas ever. If we don't make it back home it will be because we died of nasty gas inhalation...

So the trip down wasn't too bad, the kids didn't kill each other. We didn't fall asleep, so that was good. We actually managed to fit everything, including ourselves, into the van. We made it through the border without incident. We drove through Montana and Wyoming without hardly meeting another vehicle. Then we hit Colorado! The scenery here is definately NOT like home. The mountains are red, which is different. The cities are huge, we drove through Denver and it took over half an hour on an Interstate driving at 75 MPH. I'm not sure I've ever seen a city that big. Then we got through Colorado Springs and up into the mountains to try and find our little cabin in the woods. Then we encountered a little problem.

Steep mountain road + ice + heavy vehicle that is NOT a 4WD. Can't get up to our little cabin, we try gravelling the road by hand, it didn't work. My normally very gentle husband was not a happy man, he even got upset with Elizabeth. Finally, we asked a neighbour and found out their was another road. My what a blessing that was. So we finally got here!!

Yesterday we went to Compassion International Headquarters for a kids tour. It was so amazing to go through their facilities and see what they do. To top it off they were so generous wih our kids, giving them little tiny alpacas, T'shirts that they could color, a CD and a little verse pack. It was so amazing, we were there for 2 hours. Then we headed over to the U.S. Air Force Academy Visitor's Center and the Cadet Chapel. It wasn't quite as exciting there.

Here's a cool thing, Kelly really wanted to go to a Christmas Eve service and he wanted to visit New Life Church. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure if that was the name of the church or where it was or anything. On our way to Compassion, we drove right by the church, saw the name of it AND it had a huge banner on the side that said when the Christmas Eve service was. So thank you, Jesus, for that little gift for my honey. So today we went to their service, oh my goodness, when we walked in Chris' comment was, it looks like a mall, and he was right, it is sooooooooooo big. There were about 3000 people there. Crazy. It was a lovely service complete with fake snow, dry ice and a lot of fancy lights. The music was fabulous and the message was excellent. We even got to light little candles, it was very pretty. E wasn't too impressed with the music, too loud for her little ears. So that's our adventure so far, tune in for further updates!!

Merry Christmas one and all. Don't miss the best gift on this gift list of mine. Jesus, the lover of my soul, whom we celebrate this season!!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Christmas gifts (355)

So, the preparations for leaving on our big trip continue in a flurry of activities, company, a little stress and lots of fun. My to do list is getting a little shorter and I have much to be thankful for...

343. It is a gift to see my children growing up and being able to laugh and joke and talk with them at more of a peer level than ever before.

344. I am thankful that I can see myself growing up as I learn to hold my tongue in situations where I would love to jump in and take over the reins of a project (I never used to be able to do that). It's difficult at times to see someone else struggle at something that you know you're good at and could do a better job, however, it is a much better thing to see someone struggle and then come out with something better than what they could imagine they could do.

345. It is a gift to see projects completed!!

346. I have so enjoyed my children pouring out love on their grandparents at our Christmas gatherings that we have had this week.

347. It is a gift to find activities that our family can participate in together that are FREE!!

348. It was fun to discover that Compassion International is close to Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs and we can visit both places on our holiday! Compassion has a children's tour where they talk to the children about poverty and how children live in other parts of the world, we are so looking forward to all of that. We have been talking a lot this month about poverty and our abundance. We decided as a family to fast from several things in order to identify with less fortunate families. As well, we made World Vision a part of our gift giving this year. The Compassion tour will be a great addition to our learning.

349. It was a gift to discover how much fun it is to give World Vision gifts rather than 'stuff'.

350. It was also a gift to discover how much fun it is to receive a World Vision gift - a family was given 4 hens and 2 roosters in our name this year!! How sweet is that!??

351. Focus on the Family is a gift, we are going to have an amazing birthday party for Sasha there and do all kinds of super fun activities like a huge three story slide, Odyssey recordings, lunch at Wit's End and all we pay for is what we eat!!!!!!

OKay, I really could go on and on today but I really need to get dressed and do a few more sewing projects up. I love Christmas and I am thrilled to death that we can celebrate this season with Jesus at the center. Over and over again the Lord has been reminding me that I don't need to stress, I just need to keep him at the center of my vision while I'm making preparations. That has indeed made a huge difference in all the rushing here and there this season. It is a joy (and a gift) to have the resources and the strength to be able to participate in these activities and bring baking and whatever else is needed. (352)

353. I can't fail to mention that it is a gift to have friends to spend time with (thanks VAn Loons for making the effort to come out and spend the weekend with us, what a great time we had!!). We had 12 kids here all weekend, it was noisy but so much fun!

354. Our parents are such a gift, rearranging schedules and making enormous efforts to spend time with us before we depart on our adventure. They are such a gift....

Oh, oh, oh, if I don't get back here before we leave...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

Monday, December 08, 2008

10 day challenge and more (342)

So....apparently there is more than one person who reads this....there are 2, hee hee. The question was asked, "How did the 10 day challenge go?" I think I can continue on with my gift list and answer that question at the same time (does that count as a gift? why not? #333)

#334. At first I was a little discouraged because I only lost 3 pounds and a total of about 1.5 inches. Then, I was in the doctor's office waiting for a prescription to be filled and was reading an article in Prevention magazine regarding the Flat Belly diet and exercise plan. The plan from www.walkathome.com is pretty close to the Flat Belly plan and they gave an indication of what you could expect after following their plan for a month - 3 lbs and 1 inch. So...3lbs and 1.5 inches in 10 days is pretty good I think, plus I walked 40 miles...yes that's miles...not kilometers in that period of time. So considering all the information, I think it went pretty well. It was an eating plan that was actually doable, not weird food, even included McDonald's in it. You can sign up and take the 10 day challenge for free on the website (download the eating plan).

#335. I am thankful for the grace of God, it is truly a gift. There are times that I would just like to throw in the towel. I get very frustrated as a mom on occassion. Yesterday I stopped and pondered how the world would handle the frustration that I was experiencing and I realized that without the grace of God, leaning into His strength, I probably would just give up. Life just gets too hard some days, being responsible for only me would be so much easier and far too many people do just that. The grace and strength of my Saviour remind me that I am not doing this by myself nor am I expected, too. He has equipped me for the journey that I am on and will provide all I need to accomplish the tasks He sets before me. What a glorious gift my Saviour is!

#336. Because of the enlightening thoughts above and several reminders that came from various places, today was very peaceful in my little corner of the world, none of the problems that arose today shook me - that is a gift.

#337. I am one gift closer to being finished my Christmas projects.

#338. My husband took me on a date on Saturday. We went out for supper and then to a Christmas choir concert that was lovely. His mom and dad were singing in it and it was a joy to be able to bless them in something that they were participating in.

#339. Yesterday afternoon everyone was out sledding except for my youngest and oldest. The three of us curled up on the couch together and watched a movie. It isn't so often that my man-child curls up with me anymore, I eagerly accepted his gift to me yesterday.

#340. The snow, glorious white snow!!! I LOVE IT!!

#341. That hill right out our front door is a gift (especially when it is covered with snow!)

#342. Tacos for supper. A simple, healthy, quickly made meal that everyone loves. A meal with no complaining is a tremendous gift in this house.

All my sweaty sledding kids are in for supper so I'll have to quit for now. My heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness today. Blessings to all who read this, may the peace of Christ rule in your heart today.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

1000 gifts continued (332)

So....my friend and fellow-blogger kicked my butt and figured I should actually write something. I think maybe she might be the only one reading this presently because everyone else probably got bored and went on to more exciting blogs...



So I think I'm going to continue on with my 1000 gifts list...but I have to remember what number I'm on, one moment please!! So I'm on #324....

324. It is a gift to live in this community. We live in little fear of break-in, vandalism or any other violent crime...it's rather nice
325. Our church family is a gift, they are a generous and encouraging group of individuals, and generally speaking, fun to be around.
326. Shopping on the internet is a gift, I have done the vast majority of our Christmas shopping on-line, how sweet to just go pick it up at the post office, no lines, no cranky kids!
327. Friends who care about me are a gift, sometimes I forget.

328. Deuteronomy 33:12
"Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields
him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders."
What a gift it is to think of the Lord cradling me in his arms, holding me close and loving me...resting secure.
329. Psalm 90:14,
"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."
330. The word of God is truly a gift, a comfort, a wise counsellor, such an amazing gift to us.
331. Beth Moore is an amazing gift to this world, an excellent teacher of Biblical truth and profound insight, I love her Bible studies.
332. Noemi, our new German import, she is becoming more of a gift every day.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

update

So, I have about a million reasons why I haven't updated this in forever. Mostly because I can hardly ever get near a computer in this house! And when I do it's either late at night and my husband is turning the lights off, like right now...or the internet isn't working or I'm working on something that needs to be done.

So here's our little update on life:

Me:
- still working on losing weight, started a 10 day challenge of walking 4 fast miles every day and greatly reducing my calories, I am on day 7 (which is taking two days because I refuse to walk on Sunday)
- just read a great book called "Anathema"
- am ready to put together the main section of the quilt for my bed
- am stressed about Christmas and really don't want to be

Husband:
- is finally no working farm hours
- is now working pastor hours (almost the same, but not quite)
- is pretty much an all around wonderful guy

Family:
- the four boys had good report cards and good interviews, all are progressing pretty well
- home schooling is still good and the girlie is progressing well - we've been loving studying India, what a fascinating country
- smallest fry in our basket is getting close to really being potty trained once she figured out that momma REALLY was sick of cleaning up her messes that didn't need to happen, she's actually up to 28 lbs now, a little difficult to buy pants for her shape - stringbean, long and lean
- our German import is working out well and we have fun sewing up a storm

The rest of our life:
- we're heading to Colorado for Christmas!
- our house is currently a disaster cause I wasn't home most of yesterday and refused to clean anything beyond starting the dishwasher today
- am going to a friend's house for tea tomorrow cause she found this incredible bargain on great clothes and thought I might like them so she bought them for me - how lovely is that...you should always be friends with a good shopper if you personally hate the job

that's all, I'll continue on my thankful list at the next possible moment - which might end up being next month! Oh, and I''ll let you know if the super challenge actually worked and any weight really came off...stay tuned, I know you're excited....waiting with baited breath for the results.....................HA!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

WARNING: I have no idea what I am about to write. If this makes no sense to anyone but me, I'm good with that.



For the last 12 years I have struggled with my body image. Having babies has a way of changing one's shape. Three years after I had my first baby I joined Weigh Down and lost 20 lbs or so. I was thrilled. The body I had been used to was a lean, muscled machine. I was quite active, a lifeguard and never ate excessively, in fact, I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted and never gained anything. In Bible College I had less than 14% body fat. Before I got pregnant for the first time we moved closer to where I worked and my long daily walks went out the window. I started putting on a few pounds (I had a desk job). So after weigh down I was back at a healthy weight and I was a happy camper, after baby #2, I was back at pre-pregnancy 6 weeks later, I figured I had this thing nailed. Then baby #3 came along with all his health issues and I was a wreck. Baby #4 came only 17 months later, I hadn't taken off a lot in between the two and battled with some post-partum depression. Then a miscarriage and baby #6 arrived two years later. I am not horribly overweight, about 20 lbs or so. In all my pregnancies I never got over 200 lbs (that was my goal and I managed to keep things there) I am 5'8" tall. Some kind souls have told me that I'll never get rid of this extra weight so I might as well get used to it. Perhaps I should name this extra roll and we can talk late at night. Now that I'm 40 I realize that weight loss is going to be more difficult, but that isn't what has me on a rant today. My wonderful husband told me to go write something caustic...why...because he thought it might help me work through how I'm feeling right now and somewhere in the middle of it God just might give me a flower. So now that the backdrop has been painted I'll tell you why I'm a little peeved this morning. Let it be known to one and all that.........

I HATE SCALES

oh sure they have their place, like as a paperweight or perhaps a particularly pretty one could be used as a decoration, but for the most part I think they should be banned from every woman's bathroom and bedroom because they make us feel like scum, even when we're doing something good.

In May, I started a walking program. Since then I have walked two or three times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less but I've done it. There were two weeks I was sick and the week of recovery that I didn't walk at all, but other than that, I've been pretty good at getting my walks in. These aren't regular walks, they are aerobic walks, working every muscle of my body and making me sweat. I'm drinking water and all that. I don't overeat very often due to years of weigh down training. It does happen, I'd be lying if I said I didn't but overall, I'm not an overeater. So why am I upset today. I decided to step on that stupid scale and guess what????

I am still the same weight that I was in May (20 lbs overweight). I am not asking for miracles here, I just want the scale number to move for goodness sake. Oh sure it did a little slidy dance down a couple notches, up a couple notches, up, down, up, down, never more than that little 6 pound spread that could happen in the week of your period. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do my clothes fit differently? NO

Do I feel extremely more fit? NO

Do I sleep better at night? NO



SO WHY AM I BOTHERING TO DO THIS???????????

And here's the best part of all...........this morning...........I am going to convince a bunch of other ladies that this is a great thing to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA, I'll say it again, HA! They aren't going to see any results on this frame. Perhaps I have leaner muscle somewhere under there, perhaps there are subtle changes occuring that I just can't see, perhaps I am healthier and my risk of heart disease is actually less. Unfortunately I can't measure that. For all intents and purposes the 100 miles I've walked hasn't done any visible good that I can see except maybe that I can say I did it.



Is that worth something. At least I'm trying? At least I'm sticking with something? At least I can? I really do like it. I really enjoy the workouts, I'm not sick of doing them even after all these months. Is that worth something? I know that I am doing something good for my body even though I'm not getting the results that I want. Perhaps it's God's grace that I haven't dropped the 20 lbs, I'd have to buy new clothes and I can't afford that. On the other hand my weight has been pretty stable for the last number of years. This is the same weight that my body has gone to for the last 6 years or so. However, I know it likes the 20 lbs less weight quite well, too.



So how do I change my focus in all this? What I want is to lose the 20 lbs. Honestly I don't care much about lessening my risks of anything, I know I should, but I don't. I'd even by happy with 15 lbs, I'd be fine with that. 10 would be okay, not great, but okay. I know that would be better for my knees. That's one thing I am concerned about, both my parents have bad knees, I have inherited their knees and I know that every pound that comes off will help them last longer. One of the reasons I am trying to lose weight is for my knees.

The biggest reason is my vanity. I hate this extra roll. I'm going to give it a name, not a people name because somebody might get the impression that I don't like them, I'll call it XR5. XR5 needs to go. I know it might never go because apparently I have a muscle separation down the length of the roll right where XR5 lives. I don't know what that means except maybe that having had 6 pregnancies might have given it the message that there is no hope of ever coming back together.

Okay I need to get ready to leave and I'm not done ranting yet. maybe I'll just save this draft and see what God does in my heart today. Perhaps this story isn't over just yet.

The walking thing was good. I didn't have to convince anyone and no one asked me how many pounds I've lost doing it. XR5 and I did fine and I realized somewhere during this day that no one but me cares what the number on the scale is - except for the possibility of my knees, they care.

So why do I care so much? Could it be the Barbies I played with as a child have caused permanent damage? I doubt it. However, all the media stuff, diets galore, health consciousness and all that certainly does play a role in how we feel about ourselves. I don't know why I can't just get comfortable with the skin I'm in. Maybe someday I will. Maybe someday I'll quit being jealous of women with flat stomachs who don't have any overhang. Maybe I'll just buy baggy shirts for the rest of my days and throw away every single item of clothing that clings to me. You never know someone might nominate me for one of those make=over shows and I'll get a free tummy tuck!!

I'm really tired and tomorrow I'm heading off with a bunch of wonderful women to put my pictures into albums. Scrapbooking they call it - those are not scraps as far as I'm concerned. My poor, neglected 4 year old will finally have some pictures in his photo album beyond him coming home from the hospital! How pathetic is that I ask you. REally, my kids LOVE looking through their albums, they love pictures of themselves and all the little things I stick in there. They're called memories and they tell a story of their life. That's why I do this thing, even though it might just kill me in the end. But I'm looking forward to a weekend of no demands and no dishes or cooking. TA TA

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Harvest gifts - 323

Cats. I have a love/hate relationship with them. I hate that they make myself and my son sick, I hate the smell and hair they leave behind. But they are so pretty and graceful. I love to watch them play in the yard. I love to look at them sitting so perfectly with their tails curled around their feet. This morning they were a gift (315) as I watchen them playing and romping with a bit of plastic, running for cover as the truck pulled up, cuddling up to one another on a cool, dreary morning waiting for someone to feed them. They really are a gift, all 15 of them, even if they never come in my house.

My husband took the two younger boys to an auction sale today, (316) after a very stressful morning this is truly a gift, means that there are less relationships to referee, a little more quiet.

Noemi cleaned the computer station yesterday which means that my keyboard is looking very lovely today (317) not the disgusting mess it was yesterday, the screen is clear and there's no dust to be seen, at least not for a day or two.

I am thankful for the new kids coming to youth group (318), some that I thought would never give me the time of day, and here they are, hanging out with us, thank you Jesus.

Harvest is over, the crops are all in the bin (319) the vegetables are in the cold room. I am so delighted that this season is over for another year (320). It is a glorious thing to see all those fields of grain, ripening produce and all of that. It is even more glorious to see it off!!!

2 friends and I made salsa last Saturday (321). 80 lbs of tomatoes, a case of green peppers, 2 jugs of vinegar and a lot of work translated into 111 pints of the wonderful stuff. Friends makes the work so much more fun to do.

That's all for now, gotta go bake some bread and brownies to get ready for the potluck tomorrow. (Another gift, don't have to cook tomorrow - 322).

One more gift of cooler weather - the flies are considerably less - 323.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Hero or Idiot?? You decide

Okay, so on Monday I start feeling not so good but decided to pretend like I was fine all week. Did all my regular weekly things like:
-cleaning
-laundry-
-washing and vaccuming floors
-baking bread
-making brownies
- attending son's very first volleyball tourney
-attending 2 birthday parties (one was for me, grin)
- making meals for work crews
- home schooling
-running forgotten lunches in to school
-working my shift at the rodeo
-getting groceries

all this while getting progressively sicker. my body was trying to get me to stop and I didn't listen at all. So by Saturday afternoon, my body is refusing to move one more inch. My kids think I'm the wicked witch of the west and I'm finally calling in to bow out of my Sunday committments. This morning I let the family go to church without me while I stayed home and got some sleep. I didn't wake up until 12:15. I ate lunch, played a game with my son, cause I could do it sitting and then went back to bed, ate supper, then went back to bed to sit her with the laptop cause anything else takes up too much energy. I am completely drained, no energy at all. So, I'm thinking I'm probably jsut an idiot for not listening to my body a whole lot sooner, maybe I wouldn't be so sick now.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

pics

these are my pictures, that I took so please don't anybody steal them, okay....thanks.

Some excellent pictures I took with my excellent camera!!

If this video ever finishes uploading it is the one of Libby and her baby. Obviously she's an observant child and has paid attention during all the times I've had to diaper her little hind end.


technology gifts (314)

I am not always thankful for technology, but today I am thankful for many little technological blessings.

303. Skype - Did you know you can call on Skype for free!! Because of this technological marvel we can call Germany and talk to Kathrin at no charge, how good is that!!!
304. Webcams - With this advancement, we can not only talk to her but SEE her and she can see us at the same time!! Almost like visiting.
305. MP3 players - so my husband can take his German lesson CDs with him wherever he goes and maybe he'll actually learn some German
306. Digital cameras - allow me to take great pictures event though I am not a great photographer
307. Digital video that allows me to capture great moments in my kids' lives like Libby 'diapering' her little baby doll, how fun is that!!
308. My cell phone that lets me stay connected when I'm on the road somewhere, that is truly a gift, particularly after having had breakdowns on the side of the road with a van-load of kids.
309 - 311. My dishwasher, washing machine and dryer - my live-in maids, what would I do without those girls.

and
312 - 314. Bruchetta crackers with cream cheese and red-pepper jelly. No this is not technology but man does it taste good!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My "Candle" Party Surprise




Sooooooooooooo, my sweet friend is really good at lying apparently. Last week she invited me to a candle party at her house that was scheduled for this morning. I caught a cold yesterday and almost didn't go because I was feeling pretty lousy this morning. Yesterday she was here sewing with me and my mom all day. Poor girl, I pestered her about the 'candle' party all day. See, she was lying to me the whole time, there was no candle party. When I got there, she was dressed up in this wild old lady costume. I thought to myself, "My normally stylish friend is looking a little odd this morning, maybe she forgot to tell me that we were doing a theme for the candle party." When another of my friends came up behind her in equally strange garb I said, "Did I miss something, was I supposed to dress up?" THEN, a whole herd of delightful "old" ladies came around the corner and shouted, "SURPRISE!!!" It was a birthday party for me, I didn't suspect a thing and we had a lot of fun. Those little old ladies know how to have a good laugh. My only regret is that I wasn't feeling a whole lot better! Thanks girls, you are truly a gift to me (302)


Saturday, September 20, 2008

(301)

276. peace
277. play dough - Elizabeth will play for hours with it, so much nicer than TV
278. understanding after misunderstanding
279. reconciliation after meltdowns
280. big brothers shepherding little brothers with care and compassion
281. hard work being done without complaining
282. heaters on a day with a bit of winter's chill around it's edges
283. lovely music coming through my computer's speakers
284. dauntings tasks that are looking almost finished
285. harvesting again after waiting
286. watching a late night movie with a room full of youth, eager to just be together and with you
287. loving husband's gentle words to refocus my goals in the face of my frustration
288. letting them run off to play, tasks are finished
289. boy apologizing for running off rather than doing his job
290. sanctuary in the midst of chaos
291. wise words from godly men enclosed in books that find their way into my hands at appropriate times
292. ideas to care for the ladies in my sunday school class
293. anticipation of worship tomorrow with the body
294. humbling privelege of participation in the leadership of worshiping together
295. homely smells of comforting food simmering on the stove
296. flannel pajama pants that I never bothered to take off this morning, so comfortable
297. phone call from my mom, they're coming to visit tomorrow
298. anticipation of a sewing day with family and friends
299. the voice of dear friends on the other end of the phone
300. my oldest son seeking me out even when he doesn't need anything from me
301. my oldest niece is getting married to a wonderful young man, that is truly a gift, she is a gift...I love that girl so much and am so happy for her

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

1000 gifts continued (275)





For those of you who may be new here (like there are any new readers to this blog - ha ha!! just you faithful lurkers who never comment!), I am participating in a wonderfully uplifting effort called a 1000 gifts list (that's what all those numbered lists are in case you haven't figured it out yet). I got this idea from Ann over at Holy Experience, a profound and uplifting and humbling blog that I love to read and hate to read cause it makes me realize that there's so much more that I could be doing to bring my home into a God-centered place.


Anyway I have a few more gifts to write down today some huge, some small, but I love them all. ((oohh that rhymed, perhaps I should write some poetry, too).


262. fresh peach jam


263. the wonderfuly aroma of spaghetti sauce simmering on the back of the stove


264. plans for a surprise for a lady who more than deserves it

265. comments from friends in Germany

266. completing a task I really don't like

267. good conversation with good food and great friends

268. Sasha's new glasses, "I can see so far, Mom!!", he is a very conscientious cleaner

269. spending time with friends over a cup of tea and getting to know them a little better

270. a massage to help alleviate a week long nasty headache

271. peppermint migraine stick that smells wonderful and works so well

272. seeing the top of my desk for the first time in months, all the paper is cleared off, sorted, recycled and ready to be filed!

273. collaboration on meals during this busy harvest season

274. sewing projects, how I love new projects, new fabrics and all of that. I'll have to post a picture of my lastest projects, new pjs for everyone with fun flannels for fall

275. the first day of Kindergarten for Sasha, how he loves to go to school, the house is so quiet on those days

My lunch is ready so I must go. Blessings to you today

Friday, September 12, 2008

a little glimpse into an insane moment in my life

So sometimes people say that my life must be really busy with six kids and a pastor/farmer husband and sometimes people say that I'm crazy to have so many kids (okay, maybe not in so many words but that's what they mean) and the other night I had to agree. This really happened...all at the same time...

The thread on the serger came out out so I was re-threading it for Noemi while...

Abby was working on a sewing project and needed some instruction while...

Chris wanted help with the project he was working on while.....

Josiah was discussing his homework problem with me and I was helping him while.......

Elizabeth was trying to climb up on my lap when she was supposed to be in bed while..........

Sam and Sasha got out of bed and came into our tiny utility room/sewing room/family looking for mom room to announce that they were scared and could I please come sing to them because there might be a storm. Mom tries to give spiritual peace of mind by reminding them that God is bigger than the boogie man, she is interrupted by a question..is he real anyway? the boogie man....of course he's not (says mom)....oh yeah, he is I saw him just the other day (says big brother starting to snicker).......I'm going to smack you (hisses mom)...........what did he say? you saw him?.........Jesus IS bigger than the boogie man..........but I thought you said he wasn't real, can't you come sing us some songs...........

smack the big kid who is laughing himself sick...............
give the instructions,
thread the serger
help with the project
usher three kids back to bed
hand over comforting two small scared boys over to Noemi who patiently sits and sings, "Fear Not" to them
give a huge sigh and thank God that I'd didn't actually freak out on anyone's head and actually stepped outside myself for just a moment to realize that I COULD have freaked out and probably would have not so long ago but DIDN'T, praise the Lord, dance a happy dance

Yes that really happened, that is my life so please don't complain to me about how your two children are getting on your nerves, at least you have some (nerves that is) I think mine might be under someone's bed, or the boogie man got them!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Of Car washes, marriage and other things. (261)

I'm not sure I have enough brain cells at present to write anything right now, but since I had some thoughts earlier today, I'll see if I can fish them out of the soup in my head.

Question: How can it be that I've been walking (aerobic walking) since May at least 2, usually 4 times a week and haven't lost an ounce? How come? I want to know. I know I'm healthier and my bones like it and all that, I'm just a little frustrated that I am not seeing the results that I want to see.

REALLY GOOD THING
We're finally harvesting our winter wheat (244). It has been so cool and wet that we haven't gotten anything off the field yet, until today!!! So yippee, finally something going in the bin. We are very happy.

SMALL TOWN CAR WASH NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
I found out today that I'm not very good at the small town car wash. There's a foamy brush thingy that spews out suds long after I want it to. There's a 'high pressure' wand that isn't really high pressure that has a hard time getting to the other side of the van. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to wield both these thingys at the same time, it won't go well.
Some more tips for small town car washer wanna bes.
1. close the door so that your smart aleck uncle doesn't come by and see what you're doing....badly.
2. go late at night so that no one sees what a bad job you did of washing your vehicle.
3. don't drive on gravel roads right after you've washed your vehicle because there are no huge blow driers in small town car washes so, yeah, your vehicle stays wet for awhile and the dust that you kick up on the gravel road sticks to all the streaks that you didn't get off cause you ran out of money and it looks really bad
4. take alot of money with you
5. better yet, pay your 10 year old a few bucks to do it at home and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble, especially after he comments on what a bad job you did and what a better job he could do...he's right

So besides all that fun, I'm super duper over the top thankful for our new German import, Noemi (pronounce No Amy). 245. She is super sweet and super helpful and way more nice than me. I think maybe God is going to let me learn a little gentleness from her because she is just naturally gentle....I am not. So yes, I think I'm going to learn something (246).

Other random thankful thoughts:
247. corn on the cob, dripping with butter and some salt
248. just out of the garden cucumbers...also with salt and a little dill
249. ripe red tomatoes
250. freshly dug potatoes
251. home made farmer sausage
252. fresh cinnamon buns still warm from the oven
253. the smell of fresh baked bread
254. the warm strength of my husband as he crawls into bed after a long day's work
255. the delight in my child's eyes as they try on their new jammy's that I made that are 'perfect' and 'so snuggy I don't need a blanket'
256. the look of satisfaction on my daughter's face as she tries on her jammy shorts that she made all by herself
257. 10-year toes wrapped in 'moccasins' he designed and crafted himself, a project begun and completed in two days
258. the words, "I don't have any homework today!"
259. the words, "I love this Science book, I think I'll work ahead."
260. "Yes Mom, I'd be glad, too."

And one last not so random thought. #261 gift that I am so thankful for today. God has blessed me with an amazing husband whom I too often take for granted and too often don't treat the way he deserves. As my dear friend goes through a distressful time in her marriage let anyone who reads this stop and take stock of their own marriage, do what you must to make it strong, take nothing for granted and be thankful for what you have right at this moment. Pray for your spouse, pray for your marriage, be the kind of spouse you want to have and never, never give up. My dear sweet friend, I weep with you and will stick with you to the other side. Even though I can't physically be near, my spirit is right there. I love you.