Be Still And Know That I AM GOD

Three times this week this phrase has come up on my radar.  It makes me notice it and realize that perhaps the Lord is trying to tell me something.  In class we learn that if a speaker/writer says/writes something three times it is important to remember.  Likewise if you want your listeners/readers to remember something you need to repeat it at least three times so that they get it.

First our conference pastor's wife referred to that phrase as an encouragement to me in my busy life as we celebrated five years of ministry in this church.  I read it during my quiet time as I try to catch up on my Bible reading plan and there it is, just be still and know.  Then today I read it again in Ann's post at Holy Experience.  I must take notice or I will miss the message that is just for me this week.

So three times this has come and it is the thing I struggle with more than anything...being still.  I am not a sit still kind of person.  I am very task oriented, wanting to get things done, cross things off the list, accomplish much.  I feel lazy and unproductive if I don't.

And yet I waste time on the internet, being still but not knowing Him, rather knowing other things that are not nearly so important as knowing that ONE.

This quote from Ann's blog and book have tripped me up more than once.  This is a thought that pierced my soul.  I don't want to be an amateur...

           "I think of this often, words of another woman seeking: “On every level of life, from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgment and efforts to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure marks of the amateur.”"


you can read the whole post here.


I used to have this painted on my kitchen cupboard...I may need to put it somewhere again, to remind me of what is important.  To remind that I need that kind of intimacy more than I need to mark something off my to-do list.

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I AM.

Be still and know that I...

Be still and know that.

Be still and know

Be still and,

Be still.

Be.

Linking UP with UBP12

Today's post is for the 5minutes for mom blog party!!  I'm supposed to tell you a little about me...

this is me!

1.  I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world, don't know how he puts up with me!
2.  I love Jesus with all my heart and hopefully that comes out in what I say, do and write here at fresh flowers.
3.  I'm the mom to 6 amazing kids, one of whom has R.A.D.  which makes our life more than a little interesting
4.  We are youth pastors to a group of amazing kids who we are trying to point to Jesus.
5.  We are grain farmers living in Canada in the grain belt!
6.  I am one of those annoying artsy people who sing, play, dance, and create whenever I possibly can squeeze it in.  My personal faves are anything to do with fabric and paper - fabric still wins!!
7.  I love to write and wish I could be disciplined enough to do more of it.
8.  I'm tall, blonde and slightly overweight.
9.  My house is never completely clean...NEVER!!
10.  I'm almost always doing laundry.
11.  I love dogs, it used to be cats but I converted.
12.  I am blessed with lots of family and friends near and far and some whom I've never met other than through this screen.
13.  I've been able to travel quite a bit - which I love to do.

Confessions of an Undisciplined Ninny

That would be me...the undisciplined ninny.  I have a terrible time with routines, schedules, budgets and programs of any kind that involve, well, just doing them day after day.  I don't particularly like that aspect of my character.  Part of it comes from being rather right-brained (AKA - creative, artsy type) and part of it comes from sheer laziness!

I love making lists and checking them off.  I love buying organizational tools and such lovely things as boxes and bins and things.  However, I get somewhat squeamish when I actually have to commit to using them in a particular way.

I really do want to be organized and clutter-free...and I'd like to make the 1001 ideas that are floating in my head at any given time!  I know, I know all you left-brained people are saying, "If you made a routine and stuck to it you'd have more time to do the things you love!"  I am well aware of the theory, I've read it all, I just have a hard time doing it more than a couple of weeks.

So I'm thinking I should commit myself to a public challenge, something here on my blog...I'm just not sure what.  Any good ideas?

What to Say

I haven't written much lately but it isn't because I have nothing to say, it's more like there is so much to say I don't know where to begin.

I am so thankful that you read this blog.  If you've only recently found it I encourage you to go back through the archives and be inspired by some of the things that the Lord has taught me along the way.  If you've been around awhile you know that the flowers haven't been blooming so much lately.  I'm learning things, they just aren't very pleasant lessons.  I read this quote in a bathroom stall recently..

"Life is the cruelest of teachers, first it gives you the test 

and then teaches you the lesson."

This seems so true unless you realize that God is in the picture and He's teaching and coaching right through the test and keeps giving us re-writes until our slow minds can comprehend what it is He's trying to do.  And every lesson is the same:

I am enough.

Lean on me.

Don't try so hard.

I am the answer to your question.

And still I need to be taught and so I sit in these hard, dry days and wonder if I'll ever learn.  Wondering if I'll ever figure out that I don't need to do it right in order to be right loved.

So I do what I know I shouldn't, I back away trying to protect myself rather than move forward into embrace.  I fight against what's happening rather than allowing the waves to carry me up and into shore.

So rather than write and get out all that is in my soul I sit silent and hope that someone hears.

And He does.

And He comes with a word wrapped in a song and reminds me that He delights in me and it's okay if I can't do it all and He certainly isn't expecting me to.

You are Worthwhile (and a little bit of funny)

I need to be doing a lot of other things besides writing right now, but I need to clear my head a little and focus for a moment or two.  Have you ever noticed how the things you are thankful for aren't necessarily the things that the next person is thankful for?  We are all wired so very differently, each one of us has a different perspective and a different voice and a different circle of influence that God designed for us to be in.  I may not have the same writing style as the next writer, my voice sounds different than the person singing next to me...that does not de-value my voice or make the words I write less worthy of being read.  It's a miracle really...there are new songs being written every day, new books published every day with new insight and people who may read what I wrote but will not even consider what another had to say about the same subject.

It's not that different than teachers I suppose.  Have you ever noticed you can learn from one person and not another.  One student raves about the teacher and the next can't understand a thing and is frustrated beyond belief.  I witnessed that phenomenon at my kitchen table yesterday as my husband tutored a young lady in math.  She couldn't understand it in class, but he presented it in a way that made sense to her and voila! learning happens.

We are such wonderfully complex creatures, each with a different set of gifts and talents to share with the world.  Don't let anyone tell you and by all means don't tell yourself that what you write/create/craft/sing/_________(fill in the blank) is not good enough because it doesn't look/sound/feel like that person's over there.

I'm not exactly sure where this post is stemming from today but I felt a need to write that for someone, perhaps myself, to encourage you today in whatever dream that is being woven in your heart just now.  It's okay to be you (or me)!  Live fully the life God has designed for you.

And now for a bit of funny...
There were rumors of discontent floating around my supper table last night and so I encouraged my children to think of some things to be thankful for since it is difficult to grumble and be thankful at the same time.  My eldest son who is almost 16 pipes up and says..."I thankful for flatulation", my lovely daughter gets on the bandwagon and says, "and defecation" and another son, "how about urination".  While gales of laughter abound I cannot say not to be thankful for so basic of bodily functions...to quote Shrek, "Better out than in!"  Later on that evening as we're getting ready for bed my husband informs me that there are other much more pleasant bodily functions that he could have mentioned but thought better of it!  This is my family, like it or lump it! :)

thanks

Feeling the need to give thanks just now...

for white on the ground that will mean green in the fields this year

for 'thanks for supper mom, that was good'

for a 'serger miracle' today

for a way to fix a mistake

for ideas that come after you pray

for a husband who loves God more than he loves me

for worship music

for the book of Ruth

for a really good sleep last night

for good friends

A miracle and invitation

A little miracle happened yesterday.  A dear friend sent me a cheque in the mail.  How is that a miracle you may ask.  Do you get random cheques in the mail every day?  I don't.  It was why she sent me the cheque that touched my heart so deeply.

A month or two ago I ran into her at a concert and we stood and talked until the concert started.  We haven't seen each other for a few years and it was so good to reconnect.  As we caught up with one another I mentioned my desire to go to the Allume Social, it's a convention for women Christian bloggers.  I have a few obstacles to overcome; it's in Pennsyvania (definitely not a hardship to go there, just expensive), did I mention that it's expensive? and there are very limited spaces available.  The other obstacle...my husband talked with God and they came up with a little 'test'...I can go...if my readers support it.  Way back when I was really regular with this blog, had a pretty large readership and was even selling some of my little inspirational journals that I self-published...I would have said that it was a possibility.  Now that I'm sporadic and I live in a different space and place... I'm not so sure.  I gave up the thought almost immediately.

Then yesterday, it was March 1st and I knew that they were opening up some seats and here's this cheque in the mail from that same dear lurker *smile* encouraging me in my dream and telling me that she believes in me enough to send me a little money to go...(yes I cried...just so you know).  I still don't know if I'll be able to go because that set of seats sold out before I even remembered that it was the day to check that out, but God knows.  There is a writer's conference close by that I've been encouraged to attend and maybe I'll have to settle for that this year.

I was watching Letters to Juliette the other day and this wanna-be writer is claiming perfectionism as a reason for not submitting her work for publication.  Her adversary tells her that she's just using that as an excuse because she's a chicken.  My dear husband of 20 years looks at me out of the side of his face and laughed if you can believe it!

So...to prove I'm not chicken I am going to invite you, should you wish an invitation to the opening of a new blog that will contain my writing as it is right now.  I have a few poems that I might submit to a competition and 2 novels underway.  In this private blog I will share my rough drafts and you'll be free to read and comment.  If you'd like an invitation and you've actually read this far you can post a comment or e-mail me and let me know if you'd like to be a part of my unfolding writing drama, such as it is.

I probably am just a chicken walking around looking like a human...

Reflections of Mexico - When Plan B Becomes Plan A

The interesting thing about this mission trip is that in the beginning I didn't really want to go.  Way back in August when registrations opened for the trip I had no intention of going on the trip.  However, my oldest daughter wanted to go and she didn't want to go without me...and I wouldn't have let her.  My oldest son was chomping at the bit to go, he'd been before and was anxious to go again.  Kelly and started praying about it and decided it might be a good idea for our child who thinks he's entitled to, well, everything, to go see a much poorer culture than the one he is privileged to enjoy.  Since Kelly was needed at home we decided that I was the best choice to go on the trip.

Don't get me wrong, I've loved every mission trip to Mexico that I've been on, I've just noticed that as I get older I am much more inclined to stay home and sleep in my own bed!  I wasn't looking forward to a bus trip and all the discomfort that goes along with that.  As it turned out, there appeared to be only a few of us planning to go so we decided to fly.  "Much better," I says to myself.  Then suddenly there were 33 of us planning to go.  Our plan, according to the mission base, was for us to build a home for a three generation family group of 17 people.  No problem, we thought, and started raising money for the project.

One fund-raiser that was particularly successful was my son's haircut.  Josiah agreed to have his hair cut...but only for a lot of money.  That hair raised about $3000 for our project, and got him a pretty nice haircut.  Don't anyone get to used to seeing him with short hair, he'll probably let it grow out again!

Before - it was longer than this when he actually got it cut.

After - we can see his handsome face.

The week before we left we found out the family we were going to build for took off!  Fortunately the cement hadn't been poured yet or that might have been a really big disaster.  We headed down to Mexico not really sure what we would be doing and didn't find out until the morning we started building.  The trip itself was pretty uneventful other than a few items getting taken away at customs.  Three families drove down and 21 of us flew.

At the end of the week we were able to dedicate a house to a family that wasn't actually present on site because the husband was in hospital.  The amazing thing that happened there was that the parents of the couple weren't on speaking terms when we got there and by the end of the week were working together.  Our prayer is that full restoration of their relationship would happen.  They are both attending the church across the street and, as far as we know, Christians.

Not only did we build a house we built an addition to a pastor's house  in the same area.  He and his wife had been praying for this addition to their tiny home for three years.  They were overwhelmed that we built in three days.  This pastor has a side business of building windows which he also uses as a ministry to young boys, teaching them how to build, as well.  We were delighted to leave money to build a roof to replace the tarp he uses to cover his tools and worksite.  We also left food that they can distribute as they see fit to local residents.  Cesar and Maria are doing an excellent job of being Jesus in their community and we were so pleased to be able to bless them in this way.

Hold on, we're not done yet!  A house, an addition, and a storefront cafe!  A lovely single mom who runs the breakfast club at the community centre that was built last time our team went down had a vision to start a cafe for the early morning workers who go out to the field.  She wants to use the money to support the ministry at the community centre.  She has five kids to support as well.  We were super excited (and so was she) to not only build the storefront, but to supply here with cooking utensils, pots, plates and cups for her business.  

In the afternoons part of the team ran "The Sunshine Club", a VBS program for kids.  They had some bumps along the the way but remained faithful.

It was a remarkable trip in so many ways.  Here are a few other snippets that we are so thankful for:

1.  No injuries beyond band-aid assistance.

2.  Incredible bonding between the youth on the trip.

3.  Not only did they gel with each other, but also with the Alberta group that was at the base at the same time.

4.  Excellent working relationships between kids and adults.

5.  Some kids got spit on, hit or kicked by some boys at VBS, but they did NOT retaliate and that was amazing.

6.  No hold-ups at customs.

7.  Great food.

8.  A lot of laughter.

9.  Very low stress.

10.  An unexpected late night trip to the ocean with a local youth group to watch the grunyons run (didn't actually see any).

11.  Many answers to prayer

I could go on much longer but I'll save some space for a few pictures that say plenty...

The whole team...plus Oskar

We split into three teams to build, this is Henricetta and the storefront team.

Pastor Cesar and Maria, we built the addition for them.

Abby and some of her groupies, Daniel, Manuel, Diego and ??

The "Old Ladies" cabin being a little silly.

Ryan and Josiah learned to roof one day and then did the addition roof by themselves the next day.  They were a good team.

Calla Lilies growing in her garden.

the addition

Working together, the family was very eager to help their sister /daughter and her husband.

Getting the countertop ready.

Part of the puppet/VBS team.

Oskar Jr. and Chris spent a lot of time together.

Josiah was impressed with the 3L coke bottles! :)

Valentine's Day Smiles

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Valentine's Day.  20 years ago today my husband asked me to marry him and I said yes.  We make a big deal out of the day, not so much for our kids but for each other!  This morning as we were starting today and I looked around my crazy bunch I couldn't help but smile and realize how blessed we are.  It's hard to believe that 20 years have gone by since that wonderful day that I said I would commit to him.

20 things that make me smile

1.  Kelly, I'm still happy to be stuck with you...
2.  Josiah - I love you, my big froot loop! :)
3.  Christopher - you are so "dash"-ing
4.  Abby - my "soft" girl
5.  Samuel - you do loud so well
6.  Sasha - I'm so glad you asked me to be your valentine today
7.  Elizabeth - my peanut princess, I love you
8.  the 10 days of Valentine's - our own private tradition, so much fun
9.  the perfect excuse to eat chocolate
10.  a wonderful time to give sentimental mushy notes, cards and lists like this!
11.  a happy, laughter filled breakfast (it's so much nicer when mommy isnt' grumpy)
12.  sugar-loaded breakfast
13.  hazelnut edible oil products that actually make coffee palatable (that one's for you Bill, yes, I had coffee for breakfast this morning)
14.  the much better tasting Honeybee Yerbe Matte tea that followed
15.  laughter, I love to laugh with my kids
16.  pictures - Chris and I took a little run through family history last night, such a good reminder of fun times as a family
17.  real, honest, to goodness hand-written letters, got one last week and I was so blessed!
18.  e-mails from people you've never met in person but feel like friends because somehow your spirit connects over the distance.
19.  I know I mentioned him right off the bat but my honey makes me smile in so many ways I probably can't count them...
20.  My Jesus who made all these things possible.  I give you my heart, this day and every day....

Now...to the dishes....

There's an extra smile.  My poor Sasha has terrible eczema on his hands, with our dishwasher broken down I assigned each of the kids a dish-washing day not thinking how that might affect him.  We were in class last night when he phoned to tell me he couldn't get to sleep because his hands hurt so bad.  My sweet little boy washed all the day's dishes without complaining and was so proud of himself and it didn't dawn on this mommy that she had done him such a disservice.  As I went to wash the dishes after the class I realized why his hands were so sore...water and soap are the worst things you can do for eczema and I subjected him to that.  He didn't complain other than to say that his hands really hurt.  I felt so bad! :(  He's officially off dish-washing duty until his hands heal!  However, he blessed my heart with his sweet attitude and willingness to do the job anyway.  That was a beautiful Valentine's day gift.

Opening Baggage

I am feeling the need to write.  There have been a few things percolating in my spirit and I think I need to set them down so that perhaps they'll make sense and I'll see what God is trying to teach me and perhaps, dear readers, you'll learn something, too.

Yesterday a dear friend posted an interesting status on her facebook account.  She asked us to seriously and honestly consider whether we believe that we are fantastic and blessed.  Since I am in a bit of a cloud lately I had to respond that I didn't feel that I am particularly fantastic, though I do believe I am blessed each and every day.

A few days before that I was looking at a new website that a young friend of mine is constructing to feature her photography.  I have to admit that my first response was, "She thinks she can do that, too?"  She is a very multi-talented young lady and has already achieved much in other artistic endeavours.  The Lord immediately made me realize that, of course she can do that, too.  My response was, "Why, why does she believe she can do it."  His response, "No one has told her that she can't, so she believes and pushes forward."  A brave, young, talented girl who believes she can do whatever she puts her hand to.  Refreshing.

These last few months have been difficult ones because I have been nagged with continual fatigue and a little cloud that follows me around.  I've been finding it hard to motivate myself to get out of bed every morning, to get done the things I need to do and as I get more behind on projects that need my attention I feel worse and worse about myself.  I look at what other people are achieving and my little cloud grows bigger.

Now put all those things together and I can see a little of what's going on in my head, heart and body.
1.  I'm over 40 and things aren't working quite the way they used to...apparently one's hormones get pretty crazy after 40...thought I did all that in adolescence now I get to go for round 2!
2.  My worth is not based on what I can accomplish - I am fantastic simply because God thinks so, He could care less whether I can fold a basket of laundry in less than 5 minutes.
3.  I need to learn how to believe in my abilities so that I will risk putting myself out where people might run into me.  You see, I would really love to go a conference this fall that is for women bloggers/writers.  My dear husband prayed about it and felt that the Lord said I could go but that the money for the conference should come from those who support your writing.  That scared the liver out of me, I pretty much gave up going right there.  I don't write consistently on here - probably because I'm right-brained and I have a hard time sticking to a schedule! :) I would have to believe that people want to read what I write...and yeah, I'd have to write...consistently, trusting that God would draw people to read here.  Facebook took a bite out of us bloggers.  Who wants to read a whole paragraph when you can read just a few words to find out how people are, and who has time?

Anyways, I think the Lord is trying to rid me of a bit of baggage and what-not.  That's all for today.

Blessings

Laundry Soap Recipe

I've had a few people ask me for my laundry soap recipe, because, yes, I do make my own.  Why do I do this? Am I an over-the-top need to get rid of all the toxins in my house kind of person?  No, though I do like to reduce the number of chemicals my family is exposed to.  Do I like to inflict extra work on myself?  No, the process is a lot easier than most things I do.

bottom line________________I'm cheap, the soap is cheap and well, that's about it.  It works, it's easy on my family's sensitive skin and easy on the pocket book! (and it works in he machines).

first thing you may have to do is collect some appropriate size containers, you'll need a bunch to store it because this makes quite a bit.

Ingredients:
1 bar of Ivory Soap (or another pure soap that doesn't have a bunch of extras)
1/2 c Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (funny story - I looked in many city stores to find this and located it at none other than our own local store that stocks it regularly - yay for small towns!)
1/2 c Borax
(these are all pure, natural ingredients)

Method:
1.  Grate the soap (I use my cheese grater - it's really clean when I'm done! :))
2.  In a large pot heat 6 cups of water and the soap over medium heat until dissolved.
3.  Stir in Borax and A&H until dissolved
4.  Add 4 cups of HOT water, stir.
5.  At this point you can add essential oils or commercial detergent to the mix - I've used some lavender scented oil and I've also thrown whiteners or Oxyclean into the mix.  Totally an optional step.
6.  Add 1 gallon + 6 cups of COLD water.  Stir  (1 gallon = about 8 cups)
7.  Let set without stirring for 24 hours.
8.  It will have the consistency of liquid gel.  STIR it up with a wire whisk.
9.  Pour into jugs with tight lids. Shake it up before using to make sure it's mixed well, especially if it's been sitting for awhile. HE machines use about 1/4 cup per load.

**Apparently my sister's SIL uses this concoction minus all the water with her front-load machine.  I have to use only liquids in my machine so I haven't tried it but it would certainly take up alot less space.  You'd only need about a teaspoon per load.

BTW - I usually double this when I make it...cause we do an insane amount of laundry!  :)

Fun on Friday!! (38)

As I was doing my laundry this morning I thought about some of the things that I've learned in my many years of doing laundry.  I don't want to contemplate the number of loads that I've put through...it's a very big number.  Anyways, here's what I know for sure:

Checking pockets and shaking things is a REALLY important part of laundry.  In doing so you may avoid washing some of the following objects:

• money
• tools
• nuts, bolts and screws
• pens, crayons and pencils
• ipods
• MP3 players
• panty liners
• headphones
• wallets
• cell phones
• kleenex
• paper clips
• magnets
• important receipts
• cheques
• small toys  and....
• Bibles (yes, I washed an entire Bible once, made a huge mess)

I realized there are also some things I've learned about plumbing.  If your toilet isn't working properly you may discover one of the following in there fouling up the system:

• apples
• watches
• small trucks
• plastic cows
• lentils
• diapers

yup, we've had all of those in our systems...

If you are smelling something odd in your home and you have small boys, you might find urine in some of the following locations, just follow your nose...

• pails of nails hidden in a corner
• the pile of coal where the old chimney used to be
• vases
• crocks
• pop bottles or cans
• toy buckets
• my personal favourite (only because it didn't happen to me!) the shampoo bottle - yes - shampee!  I'm sure my friend Darcy was really thankful it WASN'T shampoo!  I laughed for days over that one...

I hope you've had a few chuckles and learned a thing or two about living with boys in large quantities.  I solemnly dedicate this post to Holly and Darcy Van Loon, our partners in raising many boys in one home, I'm sure they could add a few more things to this list - except for laundry - Holly's way more diligent than I am on that front!

They look so innocent don't they?

And I can't post without a few gifts of grace from God over the last day of two:

• waking up to "Be Born in Me" by Fransesca Batestelli - love that song, an excellent way to begin a day
• Lizzy dancing to some great songs this morning in the kitchen
• working on a particularly funny paragraph assignment with my son - it's good to be able to work, laugh and actually accomplish homework with him.  That kid has a great sense of humour.  When his older brother contributed it made the whole process even better.  A lovely breakfast moment.
• sewing for the first time in my sewing room yesterday.  IN the process Abby was doing homework on one of the other work surfaces, Lizzy was painting on the high counter, Sam was being creative on the floor and the other boys were playing PS3 where I could see them and hear what they were doing.  How I love having everyone engaged in a space in a happy way.  Delightful
• the song I'm listening to right now, "Sing Over Your Children" by Matt Maher - such an amazing song out of the scripture in Zepheniah - You sing over your children, you take delight in us.  How amazing that He sings over us...even when we find cows in the toilet!

Christmas 2011 (33)

All of my Christmas events are now officially over.  Unfortunately, I have a cold and so am feeling a little under the weather as well as exhausted from all the late nights!  These minor discomforts are far outweighed by the blessing it has been to spend time with the family and friends that have graced our home these last few weeks.
I have to count the highlights so I can remember all the glorious moments that will now become part of fond memories of Christmas 2011.

11.  there have been some stunning skies morning and evening over the last week - God you are an amazing artist.
12.  My son and husband created a craft room for me in the basement that I am looking forward to moving into
13.  which means all the sewing stuff is finally out of my kitchen!
14.  the glorious mess that I'm going to start cleaning up today which is a reminder of...
15.  the blessing that I have the resources to house that many people at one time
16.  that I have this family whom I love
17.  that they were here!
18.  I am thankful for laughter as we share stories
19.  playing games around the table
20.  hugs
21.  Sam's gumball cellphone invention idea
22.  the fact that my mom and dad have celebrated 50 years of marriage
23.  my brother's widow and her husband who continue to be part of the family - keeping his kids connected with us
24.  All the work my kids did to help me prepare for this weekend
25.  Backing up to New Year's - having the Van Loon family here for a couple days was such a blessing.
26.  Going to participate in blessing a dear friend who is getting married.
27.  The friends my niece and nephew brought along that feel like part of the family.
28.  Spending time with Kelly's family all together at his mom and dad's.
29.  Seeing great-grandma on Christmas day and the lady who thought we were singing in Ukrainian
30.  Friends who know your heart
31.  The intimacy of hearts connected by One Spirit
32.  My eldest daughter - she is such a blessing to me.
33.  My little Biblegirl!  God Lizzy a Biblegirl costume and she loves it!

beginning again

My first post of the year!  I hope it will encourage you to take time this year to count the things that bring you CLOSER to the Creator.  Every year the Lord gives me a word to signify what this year will be about.  This year the word He whispered to my heart was CLOSER.

Closer to Him

Closer to my husband

Closer to my children

Closer to myself

Closer in my relationships

Closer to my goals and dreams

Closer

Abby and I sat and finished our 1000 gifts for 2011 just the other day and began another list.  So it's only fitting that I link you over to A Holy Experience to see the dare that she is calling us all to.  A dare to find joy through thanksgiving.  It's time to live fully, by giving thanks, drawing CLOSER to the author of all gifts.

Blessings in this new year.
Come draw close!

So I'm going to start at 1 again, just because I am!

1.  The shepherd/farmer and son are putting together the work station that we got a super good deal on!!
2.  So I'm thankful the bed broke otherwise this wouldn't be happening today.
3.  Having kids that are willing to clean.
4.  Beautiful fabric to cover the ugliness that is our downstairs couch.
5.  Tutorials that teach me how to do a better job of making that covering.
6.  All the nieces and nephews that will arrive for a big sleep-over tomorrow night
7.  Celebrating 50 years of marriage with my parents!
8.  Celebrating 20 years of marriage for us - who knew time could go by so quickly.
9.  Getting February 2011 books finished.
10.  The prayer chain at churhc

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASHA!!!!!

8 years ago at 8:08 in the evening I gave birth to an 8lb8oz baby boy.  The first few weeks with him were a little intense...okay, actually all 8 years have been a little intense because he is an intense kind of kid!  On the other hand he is the sweetest little boy with no teeth that I could ask for.  The following are 8 things I love about my 8 year old boy.

1.  He has the most generous spirit - he loves giving gifts just like his daddy.

2.  I love his sweet face - he is just so cute with those big blue eyes and white blonde hair, he's hard to resist.

3.  He is a great leader.

4.  He is a wonderful encourager (he is always the first one to say, "Mommy you're so beautiful" or some other such thing when I get dressed up or get my hair done.

5.  He is a very funny guy, always has been - with his funny face and goofy antics.

6.  Your smile is always just around the corner.

7.  He is super creative - loves building with lego and bionicles!

8.  He is a thankful kind of guy - expressing his gratitude regularly.

I love you Sasha Price Kellan, you are such a gift to us!

Using dad's welding helmet to be a Star Wars dude!  (He is a total Star Wars nut)

On other days he might be a cowboy!  Good thing that horse can't get away!

Happy Birthday 3 year old boy!  Always sharing birthday parties with Christmas events!

4 years old!

There's that translucent hair!

Having fun at Grandma's house!

At graduation with the new glasses!

From birthday #6, when we went to Colorado!  Nice face buddy!

Christmas Day 2011 (1247)

It's Christmas day in the evening.  Yesterday I was feeling pretty stressed.  Our #2 boy was really down in the dumps and that made everyone a little testy.  I finally figured out why though.  The day before yesterday (the 23rd) was the day we brought him home for good 11 years ago.  We celebrated really big (thanks to some generous folks in our congregation) and told him the story of how he came to be with us.  It's not that he hasn't heard it before but that day he picked up on something that he hadn't noticed before.  His birthmom has visitation privileges... and she's never exercised them - this is a bitter pill for him.

He has been very concerned for his birth-parents spiritual welfare lately and now he finds out that she could see him and hasn't - he's mad.  All those little rejection buttons got pushed in a brand new way and he's struggling.

I'm not sure why I'm writing about this tonite, we've had a most wonderful day.  For a change everyone was very satisfied and thankful for the gifts given them.  No one was jealous and comparing with one another.  My husband showered me with wonderful gifts.  We got to visit with family and give gifts to Jesus at the nursing home today....so many wonderful pieces of today...

(1231 - 1247)

knock, knock jokes

looking through the snow to help find lost gifts that fell

no fighting all day

thankful children

beautiful sunset

precious elderly ones who smile as we sing

singing with my husband's family (they're really good at harmony)

giving gifts that are received joyfully

gifts!!

a wonderful brunch made together with my mom and kids

letting our son drive us for the first time

older brother saying, "let's go play" to his little brother

big sister painting little sister's toes

christmas carols

the generosity of my husband

children excited to give

He Comes Anyway

This morning I woke up to the chaos of yesterday's shopping trip in the kitchen along with the baskets of laundry I was going to fold the day before and the remains of breakfast also from the day before that wasn't cleaned up by the people who remained behind after I left in the morning.

I went to light our advent candle and move Mary one more spot along the way to manger when I saw it.  Christ comes despite our mess.  He comes despite our fears.  He comes even when we forget to light the way for Him.  He comes anyway.

As I deal with the mess in my house and in my heart I am thankful that He comes anyway.

Come Lord Jesus

Come Let Us Adore Him

thankful - (1230)

My but I'm tired and uninspired today.  I've had a lot of trouble sleeping lately.  Yesterday I spent most of the day at the computer doing something I loathe.  Combine the two and I've got a headache!  But today I get to go get my hair done and I'm pretty excited about that, it's in great need of some TLC.  Maybe I am, too.  These last two and half months have been quite a ride.  Going here and there and packing and unpacking.  Pretty hard to keep up with the whole thing I must say.

However, I am thankful for many things and I would be remiss not to mention them, because God is good and in Him there is no darkness...

Everything God created is good, and to be received with thanks...God's Word and our prayers make every item in creation holy.  (1 Timothy 4:4-5 The Msg)

1201.  Reading an assignment of my son's and remembering how hard it used to be for him to put a sentence together.
1202.  Grandpa and Grandma, in duplicate, near by.
1203.  good ideas
1204.  weekends full of sewing and creativity
1205.  surprises that turn out well
1206.  enjoying the concert
1207.  my personal massage therapist
1208.  quiet mornings
1209.  hair appointments
1210.  little revelations
1211.   a great find on kijiji that will make life so much easier for my husband
1212.  a game that I can enjoy playing with my kids
1213.  fabric, how I love to create with it
1214.  forts in the living room
1215.  a good night of sleep after not having them for a long while
1216.  our new mattress topper and pillows, what a difference they make to this weary back
1217.  sun shining on the countertops in the morning
1218.  clean dishes in the sink
1219.  empty garbage cans
1220.  beauty
1221.  encouragement
1222.  getting started on a big project, that first step is so hard to take
1223.  my little dog, Mr. Chubbs, I like him
1224.  advice from a master quilter
1225.  learning new tricks of the trade
1226.  coming home
1227.  knowing I don't need to leave soon
1228.  exercise - especially my new workout video
1229.  the fact that the kids aren't watching movies and don't seem to care
1230.  peace in my spirit - I am in a non-anxious state!

Getting over grumpy (1200)

I have to sit and be thankful for something because right now I'm a little down and overwhelmed once again with the tidal wave of mess that is my house.  I was humbled by reading anothers' blog who has been touched by Ann and her 1000 Gifts.  I had to be reminded, apparently, that we are not the one to judge whether a circumstance is good or bad because we don't see the end result just now.
What is the result of my giving up a day to help a neighbour butcher chickens?  I don't know, because right now I'm overwhelmed by the mess that didn't get cleaned up today.  I can look back and see the good that came of the unpleasant, case in point - hitting a cow resulted in a newer van and a trip to a place I've always wanted to go, time alone with my husband and fun excursions and adventures, the kids are thrilled to death with the newer, more comfortable vehicle and it didn't break the bank. (7 gifts right there 1171 - 1178)
My son accused me of being grumpy this evening and I have to admit I am, but I wasn't going to confess that to him at the time. (there is a large spider making it's way toward me at this moment, to kill or not to kill? I killed)
I hate feeling grumpy so I'm asking the Lord to help me change my attitude...look for something that is a gift...

1179. the only sound I hear is the spinning of the dryer

1180.  the dryer is running because my son did his own laundry

1181.  real moments of conversation on my bed with my daughter

1181.  watching our relationship shift in the balance of parent/child/friend/mentor

1182.  friends who pray when the Lord lays me on their heart

1183.  my pretty bible cover

1182.  a night out with my girlfriends

1183.  toys for my children to play with

1184.  food for them to eat

1185.  dishes for them to eat off of

1186.  clothes for them to wear

1187.  that they are all well and healthy

1188.  Kelly is safely in a motel and not stranded on the road

1189.  the John Deere guy who stopped to help him

1190.  the SaskCan guy who stayed late to unload him

1191.  texting information so you don't have to write it down

1192.  skipping the rummage sale this year

1193.  playing with my new toy

1194.  pictures that remind me of great moments that were shared

1195.  striking colors of salsa before it's cooked

1196.  reality that someday I will actually miss all this chaos

1197.  absence of headache

1198.  comradrie of friends in a task, even if it's yucky

1199.  ideas leaking out of my head

1200.  horizontal comfort

Aren't those colors just stunning?  That's before it's cooked...

and there it is after....yummers!

Amish Country - Lancaster County

I loved being in Lancaster County.  I've read alot of Beverly Lewis books and hoped to do a few things while we were there.  Mostly, I just wanted to drink it all in.  Stopping at a roadside stand for homemade rootbeer was high on my list of things to do and that's what we did on our first morning there!  It was so good.  We brought some home with us but it didn't taste as good as it did in Lancaster County.

All the farms are very neat, tidy and small!  Everyone seems to have cows, horses, chickens and goats.  The barns and houses keep company with the road which felt a little unusual to me.  Land prices are VERY high there so the average farm is only 50-60 acres.  We met one Mennonite family with 400 acres and they were pretty big - they just about fell over when we told them how big our farms are here!

Of course I had to look at a lot of quilts and was so amazed at their workmanship.  So well done!  Kelly fell in love with the first quilt he saw and bought it.  I didn't want to be quite so quick but in the end I did end up getting the wall quilt that I first saw and loved!

It was harvest time so Kelly took quite a few pictures of harvest being done with horses hitched up to all types of machinery.  We didn't feel quite right taking pictures of the people themselves since we knew that posing for pictures is something that goes against their code of conduct (the Ordnung).  We took a tour of an old mill and house, poked around antique shops, drove through the countryside and just looked!  We had a hard time figuring out exactly where we were at times since the towns sort of run together.  As near as we can figure we did get through Bird-in-Hand, Strasbourg and the famous town of Intercourse.

The B and B we stayed in (Stumptown Manor) was run by a wonderful Mennonite couple that we just fell in love with.  When we left it was like saying good-bye to family.  We went to church with them on Sunday morning and relatives of theirs invited us over for lunch.  The night before we had supper with an Amish family in their home.  Can't imagine no electricity, they run most things by propane.

I loved the stars that everyone had on their walls so I managed to bring a few home with me!  The whole countryside was so lovely and picturesque it is hard to describe.  I'll post a few pictures here, hopefully it will give you a feel for the place.  I'd go back in a heartbeat.  Next stop, Holmes County, Ohio.

A pretty typical site here, lots of old homes, I loved that.  So much history here.

Got to drive through a covered bridge! :)

A team of horses plowing a field.

I've never seen a field of pumpkins except in Charlie Brown, they probably thought we were daft for taking pictures of it!

Our wonderful hostess Sharon.

Kelly in front of Stumptown Manor.