Good morning!

It's a beautiful crisp, fall day.

Why am I here writing on this very dead blog?

I'm not sure, but I felt like I should. I blog elsewhere now, though sporadically and not nearly as consistently as when this blog started. I loved this place, this time in my life where things were hard and yet God seemed to show up in my writing regularly.

There may be a time for resurrection here, I'm not sure.

I just wanted to say hello. See if maybe there is someone still out there, looking around here, checking to see if God is showing up.

I've got to move it, move it...

I've moved!!

This is the last post you'll see here my friends.  I welcome you to join me in my new location at

http://www.allthiscrazygrace.com

All This Crazy Grace has been a long time in coming but it's finally here...

FMF {The View From Down Here}

The Friday is here.  Let's join the fabulous community of women that writes on Fridays for 5 minutes.  Just five, unedited and whole-hearted...the prompt for today:  VIEW

Source

Go...

I hope this isn't too depressing for y'all but today the view I have isn't so pretty.  I'm at the bottom of a very large mountain.  I've been at the bottom of this mountain for so long.  and I don't like it.

I want to conquer that mountain.

And just when it looks like I might have finally found the path to conquering...

someone moves the path

or creates a detour

or just yells at me to get off the road.

I'm so tired of it.

The word says that I can speak to the mountain and it will get out of the way.  I've not been too successful at that obviously.

My paltry mountain climbing efforts haven't amounted to much.

I know all the right answers I have a mountain climbing plan and equipment to climb it and I know it will take time, because that mountain didn't grow there over night...

So now what?

That's the view from down here and I'm aware that there is a better perspective but I can't see it at the moment.

STOP

I'm linked up at Lisa Jo's where there are probably much more uplifting posts to read!  I would encourage you to go read them.  Thanks for stopping by, don't worry, I'll be in a better frame of mind on another day.

Bread

"Bread is the perfect vehicle for eating butter!"

This is one of those moments that I should probably be doing something other than writing or sitting at the computer.  The list is long...

* boys haven't quieted down, their light should be off...I should go take care of that
* there are baskets of unfolded laundry and an empty towel cupboard...I should take care of that
* I made a mess in the living room when I hung up the curtains...I should take care of that
* the floor needs sweeping...I should take care of that
* the new blog needs to be worked on if it will ever launch...I should take care of that
* I cut out the new doll orders today...
* there is mending sitting on the table...
* there is a mountain of paper that needs to be sorted...
* there are pictures to hang...
* the paint is still out...
* the lamp needs to be painted on the inside...

The list is long and all that I can think about is this:

"Mom, why is bread so good?"

My almost 17 year old asked me this as he lopped off yet another slice of my homemade bread.  We go through about 12 loaves a week.

The first thing I thought about was that Jesus called himself the bread of life.

Bread is satisfying.

Bread is filling.

Bread is life-giving, it goes down into the hollow legs.

Bread is comforting - our motto when I was on VTI was, "all we need is Jesus, duct tape and toast".

Since I had to go gluten-free I miss my homemade bread...ALOT!

But I still get the bread of life, and He doesn't make my stomach hurt.

Bread is a staple in our diet.  It gets a bad rap but not many of us are willing to live without it.  We live without Jesus all the time.  I need to remember that He is my bread.

He is satisfying.

He fills me up in all the hollow places.

He comforts me.

And He is gluten-free...in fact He will heal me rather than making me sick.

He is my mainstay, the cornerstone of my life.

He is so good.

Risky Business

It's Tuesday. Time to talk about dreaming.  I'm going to be linked up at www.holleygerth.com with a wonderful group of dreamers...

The little girl's eyes sparkled as she saw the pile of presents before her.  That big shiny one looks like it might just be the doll she'd been waiting for.  She rips the paper open and the box says, "Wendy Walking Tall"...she gasps and reaches for it, but first she has to lay aside the deluxe artist's kit that she had in her hands just moments before...

Can you feel the conflict?  The letting go is risky, it's the part that, for me, is the scariest.  What if you lose that which you were holding on to?  What if what you're reaching for falls short of what you had?  What if it is nothing like you really wanted even if it says so right on the box?  Dreaming is risky business.  To hold onto your dream, you're going to have to let go of something else.

These are the risks of the dreamer.  The desire to go toward the dream has to be great enough that we are willing to let go of what we have right now.  And that is so hard.

To live the dream of kids who are following Jesus with their whole heart
                       I will have to allow them to leave the house...perhaps the province....or the country.

To live the dream of writing a book
                       I will have to let go of distractions. (read Debi's post on that it's great!)

To allow my husband to live his dream
                      I had to give up the house we had just purchased a year before and move into the house where he grew up and become a farmer (one of those things I said I'd never do)

To live the dream of homeschooling all of our kids
                     I have to give up fitting in, face misunderstanding and possibly ridicule.  I will have to give up the few hours of quiet I have gotten accustomed to.

Because we can't see what the full result of our actions we have to trust that this move that we're contemplating will be a good one (not unlike Candy Crush....waiting to make a power move, you know what I'm talking about) and not a crash and burn..(you failed to reach the goal!). I'm so glad God doesn't give us messages like that!  No, He says, "I am for you, who can be against you"  He says, "Nothing is impossible with me."  He says, "I will work this out for good, even if it doesn't look like it right now."  He says, "I will restore. I will redeem."

So, dear dreamer, consider the risk, weigh the outcomes but don't let the fear stop you from grabbing hold of the next present...it might be just what you've been waiting for.

Source

FMF: {Song} - Let My Lifesong Sing...

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Be generous and leave an encouraging comment for the person who linked up before you. That’s the best part about this community.

And if you don’t have a blog, feel free to leave your five minutes of writing as a comment. And we’ll love on you there.

Today’s prompt is:

Song….

GO

Source

"Let my lifesong sing to you..."  These are the words to the song I sang with some friends last Sunday.  

Lifesong....

"I want to sign Your name to the end of this day, knowing that my heart was true..."

Today God, when I have to go to work instead of being home with my kiddos.  

Today, when my house is a disaster and company is coming tomorrow.

Today, on the day when I celebrate 21 years of saying "I do" to the gift of grace you've given me in Kelly...but I'll maybe see him for 20 minutes or so...

Today, when there is seed going in the ground and he's working hard to provide for us and eating dust for lunch...

Today, when my boy wakes up grumpy because I wouldn't let him play on the computer....

Today, when the 'tooth fairy' has to think up a sneaky way to get the money under the pillow when that little girl is already awake...

Today, when I have to leave the painting of the third coat until tonite when those littles are in bed and the big ones are at youth group with their dad...

As I serve my community at the post office and love my kids from a distance and my husband out in the field...

Let my life still sing to You today...let my heart be true and let Your name be on my lips.

STOP

Two Worlds Collide

I'm fulfilling two assignments at a time today.  I signed up to be a blogger for Compassion and this is the first assignment that I'll be doing for them.  And for the last several months I have been part of the God-sized Dream Team with Holley Gerth and about 100 other women...we've been sharing on Tuesdays little bits of this dreamy life we're called to live.

Today these two paths merge.

The GSDT assignment is to write about our favourite non-profit organization and Compassion happens to be mine.  Compassion's assignment is to imagine life as a mother in another country...so here goes.

A few years ago we had the opportunity to visit Compassion International's headquarters in Colorado.  We loved the time they spent with us showing us what they do and how the money we send them every month gets used to make life better for our sponsored child in Ecuador, Jordy.

With Mother's Day already a memory I have been pondering what my life would have been like had God decided to plant me somewhere besides this affluent society I happen to be a part of.

I wouldn't have as many living children as I do.  All of my kids have needed intense medical intervention at some point in their life.  Josiah couldn't get out on his own, there's a possibility that both of us wouldn't have made it left on our own.  Abby would probably be okay. Sam would have died due to the complications associated with his heart condition.  Sasha would have survived birth but probably not the burst appendix.  Elizabeth was premature and required neo-natal care, she, too, probably wouldn't have survived.  I'm certain I would not have considered raising a stranger's child who also had plenty of medical issues and would have succumbed to croup early on.

In my imaginary world I have only one child to care for and that child needs medical attention for heart problems she has recently developed.  But I probably wouldn't be as concerned about that as I would be about making sure she had a good education, food, water, clothing and shelter.  These would be my main concerns.  I no longer have a husband because he, too, died for lack of medical care.  It is common in our village.

Her job would be to collect water from the village well, if there was one.  Together we would try to coax the dirt into growing something that we could eat.  Our entire existence would be one in which we look for and try to find ways to gather food and resources.  She would not have the option of ballet or jazz, piano or guitar.  She could sing, but perhaps she wouldn't feel like singing.

I have dreams for my daughter.  She is smart and beautiful.  She could get out of the cycle we live in.  She could have a store or go to the city and work for someone.  I do not have dreams for myself.  Maybe I did once, but that was long ago.  I can dream for my daughter.

As a mother in poverty I watch carefully over my daughter.  I have been approached more than once to sell her, but I will not do that.  Many daughters have disappeared and never come back.  I know that evil men are making money from the bodies of these young girls.  I watch her carefully, she does not leave my side or go off on her own, it is too dangerous.

There is a school that missionaries have set up in our village, she is safe there during the day and she loves to learn...oh how she loves to learn.  Some foreigners explain to me one day that my daughter has been sponsored.  That means she will be able to continue in school, she will have clothes and food.  Our village will have a clean well.  I am weak with relief.

My daughter teaches me things that she learns in school.  I learn how to make jewelry that I can sell.  She is able to get the medical attention she needs.  My life and my daughter's life are changed because of sponsorship.  We write to the foreigners and try to explain in a few words how thankful we are.  My burden is lifted. My daughter will have a better life than mine and that is all that I want.

Sponsorship does not require that much in our western world.  $41/month is a small percentage of my grocery budget a month.  Less than what I spend on milk per month.  Less than one pair of shoes.  But it does so much.  Consider sponsoring a child today and help make their dreams come true.

Click HERE to help rescue Babies and Mothers from poverty.  Your gift can do so much.  I am linked HERE, see how you, too, can be a Voice For Mothers.

Click HERE to join our GSDT team and links to their favourite non-profit organization.