Hero or Idiot?? You decide

Okay, so on Monday I start feeling not so good but decided to pretend like I was fine all week. Did all my regular weekly things like:
-cleaning
-laundry-
-washing and vaccuming floors
-baking bread
-making brownies
- attending son's very first volleyball tourney
-attending 2 birthday parties (one was for me, grin)
- making meals for work crews
- home schooling
-running forgotten lunches in to school
-working my shift at the rodeo
-getting groceries

all this while getting progressively sicker. my body was trying to get me to stop and I didn't listen at all. So by Saturday afternoon, my body is refusing to move one more inch. My kids think I'm the wicked witch of the west and I'm finally calling in to bow out of my Sunday committments. This morning I let the family go to church without me while I stayed home and got some sleep. I didn't wake up until 12:15. I ate lunch, played a game with my son, cause I could do it sitting and then went back to bed, ate supper, then went back to bed to sit her with the laptop cause anything else takes up too much energy. I am completely drained, no energy at all. So, I'm thinking I'm probably jsut an idiot for not listening to my body a whole lot sooner, maybe I wouldn't be so sick now.

pics

these are my pictures, that I took so please don't anybody steal them, okay....thanks.

Some excellent pictures I took with my excellent camera!!

If this video ever finishes uploading it is the one of Libby and her baby. Obviously she's an observant child and has paid attention during all the times I've had to diaper her little hind end.

technology gifts (314)

I am not always thankful for technology, but today I am thankful for many little technological blessings.

303. Skype - Did you know you can call on Skype for free!! Because of this technological marvel we can call Germany and talk to Kathrin at no charge, how good is that!!!
304. Webcams - With this advancement, we can not only talk to her but SEE her and she can see us at the same time!! Almost like visiting.
305. MP3 players - so my husband can take his German lesson CDs with him wherever he goes and maybe he'll actually learn some German
306. Digital cameras - allow me to take great pictures event though I am not a great photographer
307. Digital video that allows me to capture great moments in my kids' lives like Libby 'diapering' her little baby doll, how fun is that!!
308. My cell phone that lets me stay connected when I'm on the road somewhere, that is truly a gift, particularly after having had breakdowns on the side of the road with a van-load of kids.
309 - 311. My dishwasher, washing machine and dryer - my live-in maids, what would I do without those girls.

and
312 - 314. Bruchetta crackers with cream cheese and red-pepper jelly. No this is not technology but man does it taste good!!

My "Candle" Party Surprise

Sooooooooooooo, my sweet friend is really good at lying apparently. Last week she invited me to a candle party at her house that was scheduled for this morning. I caught a cold yesterday and almost didn't go because I was feeling pretty lousy this morning. Yesterday she was here sewing with me and my mom all day. Poor girl, I pestered her about the 'candle' party all day. See, she was lying to me the whole time, there was no candle party. When I got there, she was dressed up in this wild old lady costume. I thought to myself, "My normally stylish friend is looking a little odd this morning, maybe she forgot to tell me that we were doing a theme for the candle party." When another of my friends came up behind her in equally strange garb I said, "Did I miss something, was I supposed to dress up?" THEN, a whole herd of delightful "old" ladies came around the corner and shouted, "SURPRISE!!!" It was a birthday party for me, I didn't suspect a thing and we had a lot of fun. Those little old ladies know how to have a good laugh. My only regret is that I wasn't feeling a whole lot better! Thanks girls, you are truly a gift to me (302)

(301)

276. peace

277. play dough - Elizabeth will play for hours with it, so much nicer than TV

278. understanding after misunderstanding

279. reconciliation after meltdowns

280. big brothers shepherding little brothers with care and compassion

281. hard work being done without complaining

282. heaters on a day with a bit of winter's chill around it's edges

283. lovely music coming through my computer's speakers

284. dauntings tasks that are looking almost finished

285. harvesting again after waiting

286. watching a late night movie with a room full of youth, eager to just be together and with you

287. loving husband's gentle words to refocus my goals in the face of my frustration

288. letting them run off to play, tasks are finished

289. boy apologizing for running off rather than doing his job

290. sanctuary in the midst of chaos

291. wise words from godly men enclosed in books that find their way into my hands at appropriate times

292. ideas to care for the ladies in my sunday school class

293. anticipation of worship tomorrow with the body

294. humbling privelege of participation in the leadership of worshiping together

295. homely smells of comforting food simmering on the stove

296. flannel pajama pants that I never bothered to take off this morning, so comfortable

297. phone call from my mom, they're coming to visit tomorrow

298. anticipation of a sewing day with family and friends

299. the voice of dear friends on the other end of the phone

300. my oldest son seeking me out even when he doesn't need anything from me

301. my oldest niece is getting married to a wonderful young man, that is truly a gift, she is a gift...I love that girl so much and am so happy for her

1000 gifts continued (275)

For those of you who may be new here (like there are any new readers to this blog - ha ha!! just you faithful lurkers who never comment!), I am participating in a wonderfully uplifting effort called a 1000 gifts list (that's what all those numbered lists are in case you haven't figured it out yet). I got this idea from Ann over at Holy Experience, a profound and uplifting and humbling blog that I love to read and hate to read cause it makes me realize that there's so much more that I could be doing to bring my home into a God-centered place.

Anyway I have a few more gifts to write down today some huge, some small, but I love them all. ((oohh that rhymed, perhaps I should write some poetry, too).

262. fresh peach jam

263. the wonderfuly aroma of spaghetti sauce simmering on the back of the stove

264. plans for a surprise for a lady who more than deserves it

265. comments from friends in Germany

266. completing a task I really don't like

267. good conversation with good food and great friends

268. Sasha's new glasses, "I can see so far, Mom!!", he is a very conscientious cleaner

269. spending time with friends over a cup of tea and getting to know them a little better

270. a massage to help alleviate a week long nasty headache

271. peppermint migraine stick that smells wonderful and works so well

272. seeing the top of my desk for the first time in months, all the paper is cleared off, sorted, recycled and ready to be filed!

273. collaboration on meals during this busy harvest season

274. sewing projects, how I love new projects, new fabrics and all of that. I'll have to post a picture of my lastest projects, new pjs for everyone with fun flannels for fall

275. the first day of Kindergarten for Sasha, how he loves to go to school, the house is so quiet on those days

My lunch is ready so I must go. Blessings to you today

a little glimpse into an insane moment in my life

So sometimes people say that my life must be really busy with six kids and a pastor/farmer husband and sometimes people say that I'm crazy to have so many kids (okay, maybe not in so many words but that's what they mean) and the other night I had to agree. This really happened...all at the same time...

The thread on the serger came out out so I was re-threading it for Noemi while...

Abby was working on a sewing project and needed some instruction while...

Chris wanted help with the project he was working on while.....

Josiah was discussing his homework problem with me and I was helping him while.......

Elizabeth was trying to climb up on my lap when she was supposed to be in bed while..........

Sam and Sasha got out of bed and came into our tiny utility room/sewing room/family looking for mom room to announce that they were scared and could I please come sing to them because there might be a storm. Mom tries to give spiritual peace of mind by reminding them that God is bigger than the boogie man, she is interrupted by a question..is he real anyway? the boogie man....of course he's not (says mom)....oh yeah, he is I saw him just the other day (says big brother starting to snicker).......I'm going to smack you (hisses mom)...........what did he say? you saw him?.........Jesus IS bigger than the boogie man..........but I thought you said he wasn't real, can't you come sing us some songs...........

smack the big kid who is laughing himself sick...............
give the instructions,
thread the serger
help with the project
usher three kids back to bed
hand over comforting two small scared boys over to Noemi who patiently sits and sings, "Fear Not" to them
give a huge sigh and thank God that I'd didn't actually freak out on anyone's head and actually stepped outside myself for just a moment to realize that I COULD have freaked out and probably would have not so long ago but DIDN'T, praise the Lord, dance a happy dance

Yes that really happened, that is my life so please don't complain to me about how your two children are getting on your nerves, at least you have some (nerves that is) I think mine might be under someone's bed, or the boogie man got them!

Of Car washes, marriage and other things. (261)

I'm not sure I have enough brain cells at present to write anything right now, but since I had some thoughts earlier today, I'll see if I can fish them out of the soup in my head.

Question: How can it be that I've been walking (aerobic walking) since May at least 2, usually 4 times a week and haven't lost an ounce? How come? I want to know. I know I'm healthier and my bones like it and all that, I'm just a little frustrated that I am not seeing the results that I want to see.

REALLY GOOD THING
We're finally harvesting our winter wheat (244). It has been so cool and wet that we haven't gotten anything off the field yet, until today!!! So yippee, finally something going in the bin. We are very happy.

SMALL TOWN CAR WASH NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
I found out today that I'm not very good at the small town car wash. There's a foamy brush thingy that spews out suds long after I want it to. There's a 'high pressure' wand that isn't really high pressure that has a hard time getting to the other side of the van. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to wield both these thingys at the same time, it won't go well.
Some more tips for small town car washer wanna bes.
1. close the door so that your smart aleck uncle doesn't come by and see what you're doing....badly.
2. go late at night so that no one sees what a bad job you did of washing your vehicle.
3. don't drive on gravel roads right after you've washed your vehicle because there are no huge blow driers in small town car washes so, yeah, your vehicle stays wet for awhile and the dust that you kick up on the gravel road sticks to all the streaks that you didn't get off cause you ran out of money and it looks really bad
4. take alot of money with you
5. better yet, pay your 10 year old a few bucks to do it at home and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble, especially after he comments on what a bad job you did and what a better job he could do...he's right

So besides all that fun, I'm super duper over the top thankful for our new German import, Noemi (pronounce No Amy). 245. She is super sweet and super helpful and way more nice than me. I think maybe God is going to let me learn a little gentleness from her because she is just naturally gentle....I am not. So yes, I think I'm going to learn something (246).

Other random thankful thoughts:

247. corn on the cob, dripping with butter and some salt

248. just out of the garden cucumbers...also with salt and a little dill

249. ripe red tomatoes

250. freshly dug potatoes

251. home made farmer sausage

252. fresh cinnamon buns still warm from the oven

253. the smell of fresh baked bread

254. the warm strength of my husband as he crawls into bed after a long day's work

255. the delight in my child's eyes as they try on their new jammy's that I made that are 'perfect' and 'so snuggy I don't need a blanket'

256. the look of satisfaction on my daughter's face as she tries on her jammy shorts that she made all by herself

257. 10-year toes wrapped in 'moccasins' he designed and crafted himself, a project begun and completed in two days

258. the words, "I don't have any homework today!"

259. the words, "I love this Science book, I think I'll work ahead."

260. "Yes Mom, I'd be glad, too."

And one last not so random thought. #261 gift that I am so thankful for today. God has blessed me with an amazing husband whom I too often take for granted and too often don't treat the way he deserves. As my dear friend goes through a distressful time in her marriage let anyone who reads this stop and take stock of their own marriage, do what you must to make it strong, take nothing for granted and be thankful for what you have right at this moment. Pray for your spouse, pray for your marriage, be the kind of spouse you want to have and never, never give up. My dear sweet friend, I weep with you and will stick with you to the other side. Even though I can't physically be near, my spirit is right there. I love you.

I thought I should maybe write something, but I'm really tired, so I think it'll have to wait for another day....sorry...

Gentleness

Gentleness.

What does it look like really, from the inside out. I don't consider myself a gentle person, I don't have a soft voice, I'm not small and roundish. I'm not soft-spoken. I'm none of the things that I picture to be gentle, and yet I long to be that. I am harsh and hard for more often than I like. Gentle has strong, soft edges, mine are rough and sometimes fragile. I long for a gentleness in my spirit that responds softly to the rebelliousness and stubborness of my children and the harsh edges of this world.

It seems that this theme keeps popping up in my face lately. I see it being written about and talked about. I long to be a gentle - woman. Just maybe, if I learn to be gentle my children might learn it, too.

I pray this might be so.

September 1 (243)

It is September 1. I love September, I think it's my favorite month of the year. It marks the beginning for me like no other month does. I've always loved the start of school, new books and pencils, the leaves starting to turn, bringing out the sweaters and cuddling up under a blanket with a good book. It's also the return of more predictable days and routines. It's an extremely busy time of year but it's a good kind of busy - harvesting the fruits of our labours, getting ministry activities off the ground, starting new tasks for the coming year.

Today our new family member arrived, Noemi. She is from Germany and will be living with us for six months, within an hour she has gained the love of our children and the peace of knowing that everything will work out well has rained down into my heart. All will be well.

225. I am so thankful that Noemi arrived safely.
226. I am thankful that the rain held off until Saturday night so that the men could combine until then.
227. I am thankful that the rain kept Kelly home today so that he could be here when Noemi arrived.
228. I'm also thankful that Kelly being home means the carpet job on the steps is finally getting finished (it's only been a year and a half).
229. I am thankful that I am married to my very best friend.
230. Last night we took some time for the two of us and watched the movie, "The Ultimate Gift". What an amazing movie, I highly recommend it for all audiences, what an incredible message this movie gives to each one of us, the gifts that we take for granted. Excellent, excellent movie.
231. I am thankful for the church family that I am part of out here in the sticks. A few of us got together at the church last night to eat and play games, it was supposed to be a beach party but the weather didn't cooperate.
232. I am thrilled that Kelly had the privelege of baptizing two of our youth yesterday morning.
233. Tears that wash our souls clean.
234. The sweet movements that my little girls starts into as soon as the music reaches her soul.
235. Relationship with my oldest son, I am glad he still includes me in his life and dreams.
236. Excellent music that lifts my soul to heaven and allows it to take wing.
237. A new homeschooling year, new books, new ideas, new thoughts.
238. To be a witness to the joy of learning taking hold and carrying a child to new places is a privelege.
239. The school bus arriving to transport my boys to a world of learning that they love to participate in.
240. Joy on my son's face as he reports that he is not in need of an educational assistant this year, his teacher feels he is able to be with his class all the time, while I know this won't be easy for him, he doesn't feel so different from everyone else.
241. True repentance is a gift.
242. Quiet rest that restores my soul...

243. Before the throne of God above I have a strong and perfect plea,

a high priest who pleads and intercedes for me, my name is graven on his hand.........