Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Homeless...

The weekend of candidating has come and gone - hardly believable, but true. On Friday we weren't even sure we were able to go! Big girl's school called in the morning to tell us she had vomitted all over the place, so I ran to pick her up. Turns out she was the third one that morning (before 10). There were nine kids down in one other classroom. We were a little nervous that so we spent Friday afternoon disinfecting our house and cleaning toys. She only threw up one more time so we watched and waited...

Thanks to our big bubbler tub I just threw all the toys in there with hot water and a lot of disinfectent and turned on the bubbles. Very efficient way to clean. Not so great was when I heard splashing in the tub an hour or so after I had stuck them in there! I ran screaming to the bathroom to find the two little boys playing in there! I snatched them out, lathered them up and threw them in the shower! They were not impressed. But they were disinfected and suffered no permanent damage...I hope! (the screeching mother may require therapy)

So off we went on Saturday afternoon with tons of people praying. Sunday was a long day with preaching in the morning, meeting with council in the afternoon and then potluck with the congregation and youth event in the evening. All of it went incredibly well. The people there are a very warm and loving family and have already made us feel well cared for.

It was very strange pulling up to the farm house with the thought in our heads that soon this house and yard will be ours. We looked at everything with new eyes. On Monday we got to see the house that my husband's parents will be moving to. We were hoping to meet with the school but that didn't work out. We did however get a box number and Co-op number.

The strangest thing happened on our way back to the city. Normally as we enter the city I feel that wonderful sense of coming home. It didn't happen. What's stranger, my husband felt it, too and commented on it, before I did. The city has ceased to be home for us and it's a little hard to take. The house I live in is no longer home to me...but the house that I'm moving to isn't home yet either. I am stuck and feeling the loss keenly. So in a way, for awhile, I'm homeless...neither here nor there. Thank you Jesus that you said that this world isn't our home...we are bound for something much more permanent and wonderful than we can possibly imagine.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Holy Spirit Epidural

Today I once again came up against the reality of our current situation. The excitement, anticipation and joy bubbles over the whole thing have kept me blissfully in denial over the pain that I'm going to have to endure. Two of my dear friends reminded me tonite that this is gonna hurt...not just me, but them.

So far we have jumped over 8 hurdles in this journey, one more to go this weekend as we head down to candidate (that means we speak in the morning service and then host an event for youth/parents, etc. in the evening). We will also meet with the school that our kids will be going to. Yes, school! We have made the decision to put our children into the very small public school that is in town. It will be a big adjustment for all of us.

Then the labour pains will really begin. Sure we've had a little discomfort and irritation but nothing like what we'll experience once the full force of labour and delivery hit. I will need the Holy Spirit to give me an epidural to help ride the pain through. As I found out with my last baby, the epidural doesn't take away all the pain, but it helps to get through it (she's the first real epidural I've had - that worked anyway). That ring of fire will still burn! The pressure will still be huge! The recovery will take some time...and will it all be worth it?

I think YES! We will take a little bit of the fabric we've been part of here and stretch it all the way down there and join it together with the pieces that already exist to make a new and beautiful quilt. Should be good, but my heart will still get pierced, there's just no way around that.

BTW - I have a fabulous new haircut thanks to my wonderful hair wizard!! so I will look great this weekend!

Friday, January 19, 2007

New Look

So I had to change my template when I updated my blog to the beta thingy. I was sad to lose my flowers, and all my links. But I must say I'm having fun putting in new elements now that I don't have to do all that html business! Unfortunately I am not that learned when it comes to technology wizardry. Oh well, can't be good at everything...

presence


safe

secure

resting

unconcerned


These are the words that I long to be real in my life. I have been surrounded lately with the idea of 'practicing God's presence'. Developing intimacy. I want the look that's on my daughter's face to permeate my spirit so that I can be at peace no matter what the storm looks like today. I believe my anchor needs to dig a little deeper, get a little heavier. I have no desire to run on my own steam. I want that rest...desparately...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Peanut Butter Jars

The other day I got to open a new jar of peanut butter. I'm not sure what it is exactly but ever since I was a little girl I've loved opening the new jar of peanut butter. I think maybe it's because I love 'new' things - projects, clothes, cloth, adventures, etc.

The down side is that it doesn't take long for the new jar of peanut butter to look like every other jar of peanut butter I've ever had. It takes more work to get the peanut butter out the farther down you get. I'm always so excited to start a new project and then, not too far in, you realize, "Hey! This thing is going to take some work to finish!" Sometimes, rather than go all the way to the bottom of the jar, we start a new one, just to get that same rush of a new thing beginning!

A dear friend of mine helped me a few years ago to become a better project manager. She rarely opens the new jar before the old one is completely empty. She could not understand the many peanut butter jars in various stages of completion that I had on hand. However, my life isn't like hers and I keep several things going so that I can work on them depending what level of distraction I've got going and where I happen to be.

I'm thinking our move is a little like my peanut butter jar. It's like opening the grand-daddy of all peanut butter jars for us...walking into some things we've only ever dreamed about happening. Our heads aren't in the clouds, we are fully aware there are going to some big kinks to work out and we have a massive learning curve ahead of us. But guess what, peanut butter is peanut butter all the way down to the bottom of the jar! And it's sooooooooo good!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

All kinds of bits and pieces for a blizzardy day

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

Wow, have we got a blizzard going or what! There were times today when we could barely see across the street. All my family is safe and cozy with me here under one roof and for that I am thankful! Not all our friends are so lucky...one of our friends' husband is stuck at Burger King for the night. The city is closed, no one is allowed out. People are stranded everywhere, it's quite something. I was glad to get home from work and then to see my precious girlie walk in the door with friends who decided to brave the weather.

Life is suddenly moving at a rapid pace. We're making decisions on where to live, when we'll move, what kind of crops we want to plant, what we'll move, what will stay here, what we will do with our house, how we'll educate our kids. It is all so HUGE!!!!!

Some bathroom jokes you can tell your kids (I made these up this morning, they're not really all that funny, but hey, I'll share them anyway!)

Be sure to get out of the tub before you pull the plug or you may feel a little drained!

Everytime I use the bathroom I feel so flushed!

Doing the dishes gives me such a sinking feeling!

AND my favorite blooper sign of the year: at FasGas on 20th street, "Give the gift of gas!"

Yes folks, cabin fever has set in and I am rambling on.

I am very blessed with things I have wanted for a long time coming my way in the last little while, the list includes but is not limited to:

1. My new sewing machine (a gift from my in-laws)
2. My new digital camera (a gift from my husband)
3. My french press coffee maker that is used exclusively for tea (a gift from my parents)
4. My not so new serger (my mom got a new one for Christmas so they fixed her old one and gave it to me)
5. The whole moving to a farm, my husband becoming a pastor and all that - beginning to get rather excited about it all - really and truly, a little bubble formed yesterday and it started to expand

Oh yeah, got tagged by Nathan over at Unedited Ravings for 5 things you probably don't know about me:

1. I pierced my ears (the second hole) myself with a big old darning needle and an ice cube.
2. I'm rather good at mimicking accents - to the point that some Texans didn't believe that I was from Canada and not Texas.
3. I've broken my nose twice.
4. I used to be a lifeguard and swimming instructor.
5. I have only worn a bikini once in my lifetime and will never do it again.

I'll tag anyone who wants to play

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

encouragement for moms

Just read this. Good encouragement for weary moms to stay close to Jesus. Sometimes it's easy to forget where that source of strength is.

Also reading a great book entitled, "Measuring Up" by Dr. Kevin Leman. I am a defeated perctionist trying to get a more realistic view on life. Apparently I am not as big a failure as I think I am! Who knew! This book is helping tremendously, though it's taking a long time to read (mostly because I don't have much time to read.)

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

new year...new everything


I am feeling quite a lot like my poor Christmas tree - my world is tilting slightly to the right!

My hope and prayer for this year is to survive and thrive in this birthing process we find ourselves in. For the last year or so people have prophesied to us that we're on the edge of something big, something breaking forth, etc. Well, we know what it is now and yup, it's big alright. It does feel like we're giving birth, the contractions have begun and the process will hurt but in the end we'll be tired, happy and greatly blessed, ready to find out what our 'new normal' is.

Way back in October we were asked to apply for an associate pastor position in my husband's home church. We had already been considering and talking to his parents about more involvement in the farm and were looking to possibly make a move in a few years. So after much prayer, contemplation and consultation we've applied and the interview process has begun. What does this possibly mean for our family?

* cross-cultural integration - we are moving from city to really, really rural
* a new house - remember we just moved a year ago
* a new church family
* new friends for everyone
* moving away from my family and closer to my husband's family
* building a new support system for Chris
* learning how to be a pastor family
* learning how to be a rural family
* learning how to be a farming family
* for my husband - learning two new jobs
* letting go of our business
* figuring out what to do with our house
* figuring out where to live out there
* figuring out all the farm transfer stuff
* figuring out what school will look like for the kids
* fulfillment of some life long dreams and desires

It's all rather mind boggling if I think about it too much. I've been doing pretty well at leaving the how's and why's to the Lord, but not so good with the when's and what's and where's.

In the meantime our family has been sick with something or other for two whole months. We've celebrated Christmas and have been to Winnipeg and back (a 9 hour trek). My Christmas tree really sums up how I'm feeling at the moment... including the little sock hanging on the wall...