Sunday, November 23, 2008

update

So, I have about a million reasons why I haven't updated this in forever. Mostly because I can hardly ever get near a computer in this house! And when I do it's either late at night and my husband is turning the lights off, like right now...or the internet isn't working or I'm working on something that needs to be done.

So here's our little update on life:

Me:
- still working on losing weight, started a 10 day challenge of walking 4 fast miles every day and greatly reducing my calories, I am on day 7 (which is taking two days because I refuse to walk on Sunday)
- just read a great book called "Anathema"
- am ready to put together the main section of the quilt for my bed
- am stressed about Christmas and really don't want to be

Husband:
- is finally no working farm hours
- is now working pastor hours (almost the same, but not quite)
- is pretty much an all around wonderful guy

Family:
- the four boys had good report cards and good interviews, all are progressing pretty well
- home schooling is still good and the girlie is progressing well - we've been loving studying India, what a fascinating country
- smallest fry in our basket is getting close to really being potty trained once she figured out that momma REALLY was sick of cleaning up her messes that didn't need to happen, she's actually up to 28 lbs now, a little difficult to buy pants for her shape - stringbean, long and lean
- our German import is working out well and we have fun sewing up a storm

The rest of our life:
- we're heading to Colorado for Christmas!
- our house is currently a disaster cause I wasn't home most of yesterday and refused to clean anything beyond starting the dishwasher today
- am going to a friend's house for tea tomorrow cause she found this incredible bargain on great clothes and thought I might like them so she bought them for me - how lovely is that...you should always be friends with a good shopper if you personally hate the job

that's all, I'll continue on my thankful list at the next possible moment - which might end up being next month! Oh, and I''ll let you know if the super challenge actually worked and any weight really came off...stay tuned, I know you're excited....waiting with baited breath for the results.....................HA!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

WARNING: I have no idea what I am about to write. If this makes no sense to anyone but me, I'm good with that.



For the last 12 years I have struggled with my body image. Having babies has a way of changing one's shape. Three years after I had my first baby I joined Weigh Down and lost 20 lbs or so. I was thrilled. The body I had been used to was a lean, muscled machine. I was quite active, a lifeguard and never ate excessively, in fact, I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted and never gained anything. In Bible College I had less than 14% body fat. Before I got pregnant for the first time we moved closer to where I worked and my long daily walks went out the window. I started putting on a few pounds (I had a desk job). So after weigh down I was back at a healthy weight and I was a happy camper, after baby #2, I was back at pre-pregnancy 6 weeks later, I figured I had this thing nailed. Then baby #3 came along with all his health issues and I was a wreck. Baby #4 came only 17 months later, I hadn't taken off a lot in between the two and battled with some post-partum depression. Then a miscarriage and baby #6 arrived two years later. I am not horribly overweight, about 20 lbs or so. In all my pregnancies I never got over 200 lbs (that was my goal and I managed to keep things there) I am 5'8" tall. Some kind souls have told me that I'll never get rid of this extra weight so I might as well get used to it. Perhaps I should name this extra roll and we can talk late at night. Now that I'm 40 I realize that weight loss is going to be more difficult, but that isn't what has me on a rant today. My wonderful husband told me to go write something caustic...why...because he thought it might help me work through how I'm feeling right now and somewhere in the middle of it God just might give me a flower. So now that the backdrop has been painted I'll tell you why I'm a little peeved this morning. Let it be known to one and all that.........

I HATE SCALES

oh sure they have their place, like as a paperweight or perhaps a particularly pretty one could be used as a decoration, but for the most part I think they should be banned from every woman's bathroom and bedroom because they make us feel like scum, even when we're doing something good.

In May, I started a walking program. Since then I have walked two or three times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less but I've done it. There were two weeks I was sick and the week of recovery that I didn't walk at all, but other than that, I've been pretty good at getting my walks in. These aren't regular walks, they are aerobic walks, working every muscle of my body and making me sweat. I'm drinking water and all that. I don't overeat very often due to years of weigh down training. It does happen, I'd be lying if I said I didn't but overall, I'm not an overeater. So why am I upset today. I decided to step on that stupid scale and guess what????

I am still the same weight that I was in May (20 lbs overweight). I am not asking for miracles here, I just want the scale number to move for goodness sake. Oh sure it did a little slidy dance down a couple notches, up a couple notches, up, down, up, down, never more than that little 6 pound spread that could happen in the week of your period. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do my clothes fit differently? NO

Do I feel extremely more fit? NO

Do I sleep better at night? NO



SO WHY AM I BOTHERING TO DO THIS???????????

And here's the best part of all...........this morning...........I am going to convince a bunch of other ladies that this is a great thing to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA, I'll say it again, HA! They aren't going to see any results on this frame. Perhaps I have leaner muscle somewhere under there, perhaps there are subtle changes occuring that I just can't see, perhaps I am healthier and my risk of heart disease is actually less. Unfortunately I can't measure that. For all intents and purposes the 100 miles I've walked hasn't done any visible good that I can see except maybe that I can say I did it.



Is that worth something. At least I'm trying? At least I'm sticking with something? At least I can? I really do like it. I really enjoy the workouts, I'm not sick of doing them even after all these months. Is that worth something? I know that I am doing something good for my body even though I'm not getting the results that I want. Perhaps it's God's grace that I haven't dropped the 20 lbs, I'd have to buy new clothes and I can't afford that. On the other hand my weight has been pretty stable for the last number of years. This is the same weight that my body has gone to for the last 6 years or so. However, I know it likes the 20 lbs less weight quite well, too.



So how do I change my focus in all this? What I want is to lose the 20 lbs. Honestly I don't care much about lessening my risks of anything, I know I should, but I don't. I'd even by happy with 15 lbs, I'd be fine with that. 10 would be okay, not great, but okay. I know that would be better for my knees. That's one thing I am concerned about, both my parents have bad knees, I have inherited their knees and I know that every pound that comes off will help them last longer. One of the reasons I am trying to lose weight is for my knees.

The biggest reason is my vanity. I hate this extra roll. I'm going to give it a name, not a people name because somebody might get the impression that I don't like them, I'll call it XR5. XR5 needs to go. I know it might never go because apparently I have a muscle separation down the length of the roll right where XR5 lives. I don't know what that means except maybe that having had 6 pregnancies might have given it the message that there is no hope of ever coming back together.

Okay I need to get ready to leave and I'm not done ranting yet. maybe I'll just save this draft and see what God does in my heart today. Perhaps this story isn't over just yet.

The walking thing was good. I didn't have to convince anyone and no one asked me how many pounds I've lost doing it. XR5 and I did fine and I realized somewhere during this day that no one but me cares what the number on the scale is - except for the possibility of my knees, they care.

So why do I care so much? Could it be the Barbies I played with as a child have caused permanent damage? I doubt it. However, all the media stuff, diets galore, health consciousness and all that certainly does play a role in how we feel about ourselves. I don't know why I can't just get comfortable with the skin I'm in. Maybe someday I will. Maybe someday I'll quit being jealous of women with flat stomachs who don't have any overhang. Maybe I'll just buy baggy shirts for the rest of my days and throw away every single item of clothing that clings to me. You never know someone might nominate me for one of those make=over shows and I'll get a free tummy tuck!!

I'm really tired and tomorrow I'm heading off with a bunch of wonderful women to put my pictures into albums. Scrapbooking they call it - those are not scraps as far as I'm concerned. My poor, neglected 4 year old will finally have some pictures in his photo album beyond him coming home from the hospital! How pathetic is that I ask you. REally, my kids LOVE looking through their albums, they love pictures of themselves and all the little things I stick in there. They're called memories and they tell a story of their life. That's why I do this thing, even though it might just kill me in the end. But I'm looking forward to a weekend of no demands and no dishes or cooking. TA TA

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Harvest gifts - 323

Cats. I have a love/hate relationship with them. I hate that they make myself and my son sick, I hate the smell and hair they leave behind. But they are so pretty and graceful. I love to watch them play in the yard. I love to look at them sitting so perfectly with their tails curled around their feet. This morning they were a gift (315) as I watchen them playing and romping with a bit of plastic, running for cover as the truck pulled up, cuddling up to one another on a cool, dreary morning waiting for someone to feed them. They really are a gift, all 15 of them, even if they never come in my house.

My husband took the two younger boys to an auction sale today, (316) after a very stressful morning this is truly a gift, means that there are less relationships to referee, a little more quiet.

Noemi cleaned the computer station yesterday which means that my keyboard is looking very lovely today (317) not the disgusting mess it was yesterday, the screen is clear and there's no dust to be seen, at least not for a day or two.

I am thankful for the new kids coming to youth group (318), some that I thought would never give me the time of day, and here they are, hanging out with us, thank you Jesus.

Harvest is over, the crops are all in the bin (319) the vegetables are in the cold room. I am so delighted that this season is over for another year (320). It is a glorious thing to see all those fields of grain, ripening produce and all of that. It is even more glorious to see it off!!!

2 friends and I made salsa last Saturday (321). 80 lbs of tomatoes, a case of green peppers, 2 jugs of vinegar and a lot of work translated into 111 pints of the wonderful stuff. Friends makes the work so much more fun to do.

That's all for now, gotta go bake some bread and brownies to get ready for the potluck tomorrow. (Another gift, don't have to cook tomorrow - 322).

One more gift of cooler weather - the flies are considerably less - 323.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Hero or Idiot?? You decide

Okay, so on Monday I start feeling not so good but decided to pretend like I was fine all week. Did all my regular weekly things like:
-cleaning
-laundry-
-washing and vaccuming floors
-baking bread
-making brownies
- attending son's very first volleyball tourney
-attending 2 birthday parties (one was for me, grin)
- making meals for work crews
- home schooling
-running forgotten lunches in to school
-working my shift at the rodeo
-getting groceries

all this while getting progressively sicker. my body was trying to get me to stop and I didn't listen at all. So by Saturday afternoon, my body is refusing to move one more inch. My kids think I'm the wicked witch of the west and I'm finally calling in to bow out of my Sunday committments. This morning I let the family go to church without me while I stayed home and got some sleep. I didn't wake up until 12:15. I ate lunch, played a game with my son, cause I could do it sitting and then went back to bed, ate supper, then went back to bed to sit her with the laptop cause anything else takes up too much energy. I am completely drained, no energy at all. So, I'm thinking I'm probably jsut an idiot for not listening to my body a whole lot sooner, maybe I wouldn't be so sick now.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

pics

these are my pictures, that I took so please don't anybody steal them, okay....thanks.

Some excellent pictures I took with my excellent camera!!

If this video ever finishes uploading it is the one of Libby and her baby. Obviously she's an observant child and has paid attention during all the times I've had to diaper her little hind end.


technology gifts (314)

I am not always thankful for technology, but today I am thankful for many little technological blessings.

303. Skype - Did you know you can call on Skype for free!! Because of this technological marvel we can call Germany and talk to Kathrin at no charge, how good is that!!!
304. Webcams - With this advancement, we can not only talk to her but SEE her and she can see us at the same time!! Almost like visiting.
305. MP3 players - so my husband can take his German lesson CDs with him wherever he goes and maybe he'll actually learn some German
306. Digital cameras - allow me to take great pictures event though I am not a great photographer
307. Digital video that allows me to capture great moments in my kids' lives like Libby 'diapering' her little baby doll, how fun is that!!
308. My cell phone that lets me stay connected when I'm on the road somewhere, that is truly a gift, particularly after having had breakdowns on the side of the road with a van-load of kids.
309 - 311. My dishwasher, washing machine and dryer - my live-in maids, what would I do without those girls.

and
312 - 314. Bruchetta crackers with cream cheese and red-pepper jelly. No this is not technology but man does it taste good!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My "Candle" Party Surprise




Sooooooooooooo, my sweet friend is really good at lying apparently. Last week she invited me to a candle party at her house that was scheduled for this morning. I caught a cold yesterday and almost didn't go because I was feeling pretty lousy this morning. Yesterday she was here sewing with me and my mom all day. Poor girl, I pestered her about the 'candle' party all day. See, she was lying to me the whole time, there was no candle party. When I got there, she was dressed up in this wild old lady costume. I thought to myself, "My normally stylish friend is looking a little odd this morning, maybe she forgot to tell me that we were doing a theme for the candle party." When another of my friends came up behind her in equally strange garb I said, "Did I miss something, was I supposed to dress up?" THEN, a whole herd of delightful "old" ladies came around the corner and shouted, "SURPRISE!!!" It was a birthday party for me, I didn't suspect a thing and we had a lot of fun. Those little old ladies know how to have a good laugh. My only regret is that I wasn't feeling a whole lot better! Thanks girls, you are truly a gift to me (302)


Saturday, September 20, 2008

(301)

276. peace
277. play dough - Elizabeth will play for hours with it, so much nicer than TV
278. understanding after misunderstanding
279. reconciliation after meltdowns
280. big brothers shepherding little brothers with care and compassion
281. hard work being done without complaining
282. heaters on a day with a bit of winter's chill around it's edges
283. lovely music coming through my computer's speakers
284. dauntings tasks that are looking almost finished
285. harvesting again after waiting
286. watching a late night movie with a room full of youth, eager to just be together and with you
287. loving husband's gentle words to refocus my goals in the face of my frustration
288. letting them run off to play, tasks are finished
289. boy apologizing for running off rather than doing his job
290. sanctuary in the midst of chaos
291. wise words from godly men enclosed in books that find their way into my hands at appropriate times
292. ideas to care for the ladies in my sunday school class
293. anticipation of worship tomorrow with the body
294. humbling privelege of participation in the leadership of worshiping together
295. homely smells of comforting food simmering on the stove
296. flannel pajama pants that I never bothered to take off this morning, so comfortable
297. phone call from my mom, they're coming to visit tomorrow
298. anticipation of a sewing day with family and friends
299. the voice of dear friends on the other end of the phone
300. my oldest son seeking me out even when he doesn't need anything from me
301. my oldest niece is getting married to a wonderful young man, that is truly a gift, she is a gift...I love that girl so much and am so happy for her

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

1000 gifts continued (275)





For those of you who may be new here (like there are any new readers to this blog - ha ha!! just you faithful lurkers who never comment!), I am participating in a wonderfully uplifting effort called a 1000 gifts list (that's what all those numbered lists are in case you haven't figured it out yet). I got this idea from Ann over at Holy Experience, a profound and uplifting and humbling blog that I love to read and hate to read cause it makes me realize that there's so much more that I could be doing to bring my home into a God-centered place.


Anyway I have a few more gifts to write down today some huge, some small, but I love them all. ((oohh that rhymed, perhaps I should write some poetry, too).


262. fresh peach jam


263. the wonderfuly aroma of spaghetti sauce simmering on the back of the stove


264. plans for a surprise for a lady who more than deserves it

265. comments from friends in Germany

266. completing a task I really don't like

267. good conversation with good food and great friends

268. Sasha's new glasses, "I can see so far, Mom!!", he is a very conscientious cleaner

269. spending time with friends over a cup of tea and getting to know them a little better

270. a massage to help alleviate a week long nasty headache

271. peppermint migraine stick that smells wonderful and works so well

272. seeing the top of my desk for the first time in months, all the paper is cleared off, sorted, recycled and ready to be filed!

273. collaboration on meals during this busy harvest season

274. sewing projects, how I love new projects, new fabrics and all of that. I'll have to post a picture of my lastest projects, new pjs for everyone with fun flannels for fall

275. the first day of Kindergarten for Sasha, how he loves to go to school, the house is so quiet on those days

My lunch is ready so I must go. Blessings to you today

Friday, September 12, 2008

a little glimpse into an insane moment in my life

So sometimes people say that my life must be really busy with six kids and a pastor/farmer husband and sometimes people say that I'm crazy to have so many kids (okay, maybe not in so many words but that's what they mean) and the other night I had to agree. This really happened...all at the same time...

The thread on the serger came out out so I was re-threading it for Noemi while...

Abby was working on a sewing project and needed some instruction while...

Chris wanted help with the project he was working on while.....

Josiah was discussing his homework problem with me and I was helping him while.......

Elizabeth was trying to climb up on my lap when she was supposed to be in bed while..........

Sam and Sasha got out of bed and came into our tiny utility room/sewing room/family looking for mom room to announce that they were scared and could I please come sing to them because there might be a storm. Mom tries to give spiritual peace of mind by reminding them that God is bigger than the boogie man, she is interrupted by a question..is he real anyway? the boogie man....of course he's not (says mom)....oh yeah, he is I saw him just the other day (says big brother starting to snicker).......I'm going to smack you (hisses mom)...........what did he say? you saw him?.........Jesus IS bigger than the boogie man..........but I thought you said he wasn't real, can't you come sing us some songs...........

smack the big kid who is laughing himself sick...............
give the instructions,
thread the serger
help with the project
usher three kids back to bed
hand over comforting two small scared boys over to Noemi who patiently sits and sings, "Fear Not" to them
give a huge sigh and thank God that I'd didn't actually freak out on anyone's head and actually stepped outside myself for just a moment to realize that I COULD have freaked out and probably would have not so long ago but DIDN'T, praise the Lord, dance a happy dance

Yes that really happened, that is my life so please don't complain to me about how your two children are getting on your nerves, at least you have some (nerves that is) I think mine might be under someone's bed, or the boogie man got them!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Of Car washes, marriage and other things. (261)

I'm not sure I have enough brain cells at present to write anything right now, but since I had some thoughts earlier today, I'll see if I can fish them out of the soup in my head.

Question: How can it be that I've been walking (aerobic walking) since May at least 2, usually 4 times a week and haven't lost an ounce? How come? I want to know. I know I'm healthier and my bones like it and all that, I'm just a little frustrated that I am not seeing the results that I want to see.

REALLY GOOD THING
We're finally harvesting our winter wheat (244). It has been so cool and wet that we haven't gotten anything off the field yet, until today!!! So yippee, finally something going in the bin. We are very happy.

SMALL TOWN CAR WASH NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
I found out today that I'm not very good at the small town car wash. There's a foamy brush thingy that spews out suds long after I want it to. There's a 'high pressure' wand that isn't really high pressure that has a hard time getting to the other side of the van. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to wield both these thingys at the same time, it won't go well.
Some more tips for small town car washer wanna bes.
1. close the door so that your smart aleck uncle doesn't come by and see what you're doing....badly.
2. go late at night so that no one sees what a bad job you did of washing your vehicle.
3. don't drive on gravel roads right after you've washed your vehicle because there are no huge blow driers in small town car washes so, yeah, your vehicle stays wet for awhile and the dust that you kick up on the gravel road sticks to all the streaks that you didn't get off cause you ran out of money and it looks really bad
4. take alot of money with you
5. better yet, pay your 10 year old a few bucks to do it at home and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble, especially after he comments on what a bad job you did and what a better job he could do...he's right

So besides all that fun, I'm super duper over the top thankful for our new German import, Noemi (pronounce No Amy). 245. She is super sweet and super helpful and way more nice than me. I think maybe God is going to let me learn a little gentleness from her because she is just naturally gentle....I am not. So yes, I think I'm going to learn something (246).

Other random thankful thoughts:
247. corn on the cob, dripping with butter and some salt
248. just out of the garden cucumbers...also with salt and a little dill
249. ripe red tomatoes
250. freshly dug potatoes
251. home made farmer sausage
252. fresh cinnamon buns still warm from the oven
253. the smell of fresh baked bread
254. the warm strength of my husband as he crawls into bed after a long day's work
255. the delight in my child's eyes as they try on their new jammy's that I made that are 'perfect' and 'so snuggy I don't need a blanket'
256. the look of satisfaction on my daughter's face as she tries on her jammy shorts that she made all by herself
257. 10-year toes wrapped in 'moccasins' he designed and crafted himself, a project begun and completed in two days
258. the words, "I don't have any homework today!"
259. the words, "I love this Science book, I think I'll work ahead."
260. "Yes Mom, I'd be glad, too."

And one last not so random thought. #261 gift that I am so thankful for today. God has blessed me with an amazing husband whom I too often take for granted and too often don't treat the way he deserves. As my dear friend goes through a distressful time in her marriage let anyone who reads this stop and take stock of their own marriage, do what you must to make it strong, take nothing for granted and be thankful for what you have right at this moment. Pray for your spouse, pray for your marriage, be the kind of spouse you want to have and never, never give up. My dear sweet friend, I weep with you and will stick with you to the other side. Even though I can't physically be near, my spirit is right there. I love you.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I thought I should maybe write something, but I'm really tired, so I think it'll have to wait for another day....sorry...

Monday, September 01, 2008

Gentleness

Gentleness.

What does it look like really, from the inside out. I don't consider myself a gentle person, I don't have a soft voice, I'm not small and roundish. I'm not soft-spoken. I'm none of the things that I picture to be gentle, and yet I long to be that. I am harsh and hard for more often than I like. Gentle has strong, soft edges, mine are rough and sometimes fragile. I long for a gentleness in my spirit that responds softly to the rebelliousness and stubborness of my children and the harsh edges of this world.

It seems that this theme keeps popping up in my face lately. I see it being written about and talked about. I long to be a gentle - woman. Just maybe, if I learn to be gentle my children might learn it, too.

I pray this might be so.

September 1 (243)

It is September 1. I love September, I think it's my favorite month of the year. It marks the beginning for me like no other month does. I've always loved the start of school, new books and pencils, the leaves starting to turn, bringing out the sweaters and cuddling up under a blanket with a good book. It's also the return of more predictable days and routines. It's an extremely busy time of year but it's a good kind of busy - harvesting the fruits of our labours, getting ministry activities off the ground, starting new tasks for the coming year.

Today our new family member arrived, Noemi. She is from Germany and will be living with us for six months, within an hour she has gained the love of our children and the peace of knowing that everything will work out well has rained down into my heart. All will be well.

225. I am so thankful that Noemi arrived safely.
226. I am thankful that the rain held off until Saturday night so that the men could combine until then.
227. I am thankful that the rain kept Kelly home today so that he could be here when Noemi arrived.
228. I'm also thankful that Kelly being home means the carpet job on the steps is finally getting finished (it's only been a year and a half).
229. I am thankful that I am married to my very best friend.
230. Last night we took some time for the two of us and watched the movie, "The Ultimate Gift". What an amazing movie, I highly recommend it for all audiences, what an incredible message this movie gives to each one of us, the gifts that we take for granted. Excellent, excellent movie.
231. I am thankful for the church family that I am part of out here in the sticks. A few of us got together at the church last night to eat and play games, it was supposed to be a beach party but the weather didn't cooperate.
232. I am thrilled that Kelly had the privelege of baptizing two of our youth yesterday morning.
233. Tears that wash our souls clean.
234. The sweet movements that my little girls starts into as soon as the music reaches her soul.
235. Relationship with my oldest son, I am glad he still includes me in his life and dreams.
236. Excellent music that lifts my soul to heaven and allows it to take wing.
237. A new homeschooling year, new books, new ideas, new thoughts.
238. To be a witness to the joy of learning taking hold and carrying a child to new places is a privelege.
239. The school bus arriving to transport my boys to a world of learning that they love to participate in.
240. Joy on my son's face as he reports that he is not in need of an educational assistant this year, his teacher feels he is able to be with his class all the time, while I know this won't be easy for him, he doesn't feel so different from everyone else.
241. True repentance is a gift.
242. Quiet rest that restores my soul...
243. Before the throne of God above I have a strong and perfect plea,
a high priest who pleads and intercedes for me, my name is graven on his hand.........

Sunday, August 24, 2008

The List of 40 Blessings for 40 years of grace so far

S0 today I am 40!! My husband blessed me this morning. Not only did he get my three beautiful gold chains fixed he bought me a very lovely ring for my birthday. Perhaps I'll post a picture later. Unfortuately my son was very grumpy this morning so it wasn't exactly a harmonious and joyful morning. My 4 year old son was distraught that he had no gift for me so I let him go shopping...for me...out of my basket of little gifts that I keep on hand for last-minute gift giving. He was happy, his heart is a good one. So, I must begin my list of 40 things for today...

(I will label these 1-40 but they're part of my 1000 gifts list)

1. I am thankful for life today. God didn't have to let me live, but he did.
2. He knit me together in my mother's womb, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
3. This morning, my devotions were based on Psalm 139 - how cool is that.
4. He loves me.
5. He gave me parents who trusted him with my life and were willing to take the risk and let me live. (The doctors told them to abort.)
6. It is a gift that he allowed me to be normal, well, relatively normal. :)
7. He blessed me with many skills and abilities for which I am deeply thankful.
8. I can write songs.
9. I can write poems and stories.
10. He gave me an incredible visual imagination.
11. I can sew and do all manner of crafty things.
12. I can sing and play the piano.
13. I can organize events.
14. There's a lot more that I can do but I'm not going to give any more numbers to those things.
15. So besides my incredible parents I have an amazing sister, who has a wonderful family.
16. I have two great brothers, also with amazing families, unfortunately one of those dear brothers has already departed this good earth in favor of hanging out with Jesus, I look forward to seeing him again.
17. My amazing husband, Kelly. I am so thankful that God allowed me to marry my best friend.

And right here in the midst of my list he surprised me. We went for supper at his parents home and after we had our family celebration people started showing up and we had a little party in the back yard, how sweet, and surprising was that?

18. The people who raised my husband are very wonderful and a gift to me.
19. They also have two lovely daughters who I am priveleged to call my sisters-in-law,
20. Who are married to two wonderful men and they have some lovely children.
21. Then God blessed us with a wonderful spiritual family that just keeps growing and growing.
22. After a few years of wedded bliss we began to have some blessings of our own, starting with Josiah - a wonderful young man-to-be, what a great helper he is.
23. Christopher, our chosen blessing.
24. Abby, our sweet and compassionate daughter.
25. Samuel, a thoughtful son.
26. Sasah our sparkly little man who makes us laugh.
27. And Elizabeth our sweet little flower.
28. I have been blessed with a wonderful extended family of my own as well as my husband's.
29. I am blessed to live the life we're living right now, farming, pastoring, parenting...full, full life.
30. And of course we are blessed with many friends too numerous to mention all my name for the fear of missing someone out.
31. This may seem trivial but I'm extremely thankful for my new sewing machine that Kelly bought me several months ago, it is such a treat to sew with.
32. I am blessed to have daisies blooming in my garden.
33. I am blessed to have had a wonderful evening for this party, the weather was just perfect!
34. I am thankful that I will soon be heading for my bed...I'm tired.
35. I am blessed to have lived 37 years with the Lord already, that's a long time to have been walking this way, God is faithful.
36. I am blessed that He will continue to finish the work that he began in me, he dreamed me up and he has a plan that I can't possibly imagine and I get to watch.
37. He walks with me, and HE talks with me, and he tells me I am his own.
38. He says I'm beautiful and a princess!!
39. I am blessed to have had my son invite me to play a game with him (he never does that), so even though he soundly beat me...I am thankful for something that was truly a gift from him.
40. I am blessed by the people who stop by and read this, even though you don't all comment, I am thankful for you.

So that's it for today...it's been a good, good day. Tomorrow I'll probably herd the kids to the beach and hang out with some friends at their cabin since it's supposed to be scorching hot. I might get some pictures posted but I'm not making any promises. Blessings to one and all.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The eve of turning 40.

Tomorrow I turn 40 years old. I will have officially completed four decades of living on this good earth. I am not ashamed of being 40, I think I've earned my years, some days I feel much, much older. Other days I feel like I can't possibly have lived so long already, I've only just gotten started.

However, tonite, on the eve of this momentous occassion I feel very blah. I'm tired after making the long drive home from my mom's. It was nice to visit, gather my little chickens around me once again and nice to head home. I'm tired, feel yucky after eating and drinking things I don't usually eat and drink in an effort to stay awake and should probably just go to bed.

Having your birthday at harvest time is a downer. Nobody is around because they're all busy in the field, there will not likely be a party except with the family at my in-laws house tomorrow evening. My husband is a wonderful man but planning events is not his forte - that's why he married me. Maybe I should have just planned a party for myself, however, that would have seemed a little vain don't you think? None of my kids got me anything or even made cards. I already know what my gift is from my husband, cause I told what he should do (I wanted all the beautiful gold chains that he's ever given me that my sweet babies have pulled off my neck repaired) and he did it.

I think perhaps I'm having a little pity party for one here, I'll behave myself in the morning and I will write my 40 thankful things, I promise. For now, my sweet husband is home from the field, it is 11:00 PM and I am going to go to bed so I'm not tired and cranky on my birthday.

Friday, August 22, 2008

week-ending blessings (164-174)

So much to be thankful for as we head into this weekend. Life is fragile and we must never take for granted the moments that we are allowed in this brief life.

164. My brother-in-law's life was preserved in what could have potentially been a very bad collision at an intersection, overturning his van and allowing him to slide with his face inches from the pavement with an open window. You can read more about that here.

165. My father-in-law hit a large buck and only sustained some minor damage to his truck.

166. We missed hitting a rather large moose as it bolted onto the highway as we drove home from my parents house.

167. I am thankful for the blessing of encouragement as I read other blogs and enjoy what the Lord deposits in other's lives. Holy Experience. God has gifted this woman with incredible insight and a gift for putting that into words. She is a gift to all of us . Two of her posts, one about feathring our nests as mothers and one about the gentle guidance of our children really spoke to me this week. Thank you Ann.

168. I am thankful for telephone lines that connect me to friends who call unexpectedly. Such a blessing to spend time comuning with a kindred spirit that I haven't spoken to in a long time...too long. Thanks Krista for taking the time to call.

169. I am thankful for dreams. My husband and I spent this cool dreary morning dreaming about an addition to our home, whether it happens or not is not the point, it is the ability to envision and dream that is a gift today, especially with one whom I love and share the vision.

170. I am thankful for my father-in-law's abilaity to take an idea and make it better. He has an uncanny ability to see the potential problems and come up with a solution in an instant. I love that about him.

171. I am thankful that in a few hours I will be reunited with the children who have been at Grandma's this week. I can't wait to hug them and see their beautiful faces.

172. I am thankful for the two that I had with me this week and the time I could spend with them.

173. I am thankful for the brain break it was to have only two kids this week. Two kids is so much easier than six.

174. And I am thankful for my parents who allowed me to leave four kids at their house this week.

In honor of my 40th birthday, which is coming up on Sunday, I am going to attempt a list of 40 for that day!!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

thankfulness (163)

This morning I am thankful for the peace that is permeating my home (153). I only have my oldest and youngest sons home with me and the rest of the crew are at my parents home having what I am sure is a wonderful time (154). My brain has been able to have a rest from the constant demands of children (155) and I've been able to do some tasks that needed finishing that I just couldn't seem to get too (156).

Today we'll put Josiah's room back together it looks so lovely (157). I am glad for my son's artistic eye, especially when he lets it guide his choices in colors for his room (158). He took them out of the quilt I made him for his birthday so now he has a two tone room in 'goblin green' and 'burnt bark' - green and brown.

Last night my own creative juices woke up right after my bladder did at about 2 AM. I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and started working on the things I had in my head - lovely cushions for my bed. I was thrilled to find fabric in my cupboard that was absolutely perfect for what I envisioned (159). I was a little nervous this morning that my middle of the night creative energies might have produced something I wouldn't like in the morning but that was not the case, I still like it this morning and will post some pics once they're all finished.

Yes I am thankful, thankful for cool evening breezes after a hot day (160).
Thankful that they could actually start combining last night (161). Not so thankful that it broke down already, something with the header.
Thankful for the sweet caress of satin on my shoulders - I pulled out my pretty bathrobe and decided to wear it this morning as I sipped hot chocolate and enjoyed breakfast with my 4 year old. (162)
Looking forward to a date with my boys this evening. (163) We're going to go to the drive-in to see Wall.E.
I so needed this respite from my regular world, thank you Lord and mom and dad for giving me this little break.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Happy Birthday!!



This young man is 10 today. That means he has been part of our family for 9.5 years. So much has changed, so much progress has been made. He was one happy clam this morning when he got his MP3 player. He was even happier when his non-techno-mommy managed to load it with songs and stories since his techno-geek brother wasn't home. I even got a, "You're the best mom in the world!" today. We're happy to have you in our home and in our hearts!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Psalm 103 - 148-152

148. Psalm 103. Right now this is the theme of my song. I am so thankful that he knows how weak I am.
149. He know that I am dust - just ordinary dust that turns to mud when it gets wet, that blows all over when winds come against it, dust that sticks to things and makes a fine mess of everything...that's me right now....dust.
150. He is not harsh with us as our sins deserve.
151. He is slow to anger, abounding in love.
152. He doesn't punish all our sins.