Thursday, September 08, 2011


Things have not at all been what I expected over the last two weeks.
#1 - All my little chick-lets off to school.  Expecting to be overjoyed with all the time to myself.

What really happened - I walked up the hill and fell asleep on the couch exhausted on day 1, day 2 of no kids home, I went out with some girlfriends to do some card-making, very fun.  Day 3 of no kids, I got a bunch of stuff done but was un-nerved by the quiet house.  Day 4 of no kids (today), I am blue and missing them horribly and surprised that this is how I feel - missing them horribly was not expected.  When those who weren't playing volleyball arrived home yesterday my motivation flooded back and I had a lovely companionable time with my eldest daughter cutting corn, we read books in the evening and cuddled on the couch and I reveled in the return of my children, that, too, was not expected.

#2 - A bumper crop in the fields that was going to pull our financial sorry-selves back into the black.

What really happened - a killer hail-storm destroyed and/or damaged all that lovely bumper crop in a matter of six minutes.  What was going to be a 30+ bushel/acre lentil crop was a scanty 6 bu/ac crop.  We're working on the canola and it is less than half of what it would have been.  Very disheartening all the way around.  Fortunately the second-wave hailstorm, yes, we got hit by another one a few days later didn't do as much damage since the crops were already wet from rain.  I learned that I was relying a little too heavily on the canola crop to save me rather than the Lord.  Yes, we are in need of some house repairs but perhaps he has another was of supplying those needs that I can't see right now.

In the end it is hard to remember what I preached this summer...thanksgiving is the key to turning ashes into beauty.  The ash is strong in our mouth right now and I am trying to keep my list of gifts handy to remember to give thanks in all circumstances.  I read an excellent post from an unexpected source this morning that reminded me that whatever we feed is what will grow.  If I continue to feed a negative, non-thankful, lazy spirit I will continue to reap and pessimistic, dour, overweight outlook on my life.  If I feed a positive, thankful, good choices sort of spirit I will have a lighter spirit all the way around.

Yes my expectations of harvest have been dashed and my coveted hours haven't been quiet so sweet as I thought they might be, but God is still in charge of me and I will submit myself to His plan for today...

In His Grip

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