Coming Home

Our family is back together again. All the pieces of the puzzle are recovered and the box seems to be shaking already.

Transition is hard. I remember from birthing babies that transition was the most difficult part of the birthing process.

It wasn't a quiet homecoming, it was coming home to a loud, crazy year-end party with over 30 people running around. His own coming of age as he now becomes one of them officially, not just the pastor's son allowed to hang out.

Trying to fit in with friends that haven't been seen for a few months. Fitting back into the sibling pecking order. Fitting back into a bedroom. Fitting back under parent's authority.

I'm not sure yet how to deal with it all. I'm exhausted from the marathon of the last few weeks and months. Seeding is finally finished, spraying is under way, usually almost done by now. Holiday weeks looming on the horizon with long lists of to-do's before then. Youth activities are one less thing to think about. Homeschooling is done for the year and the reports are in. So now it is gardens and packing and in the midst of that re-learning how to handle my little storm cloud son.

How can a person be so full of gentleness and tension at the same time? Why does the tension had to come out like it does? How do I deal with it all without turning into a control-freakish paranoid crazy woman?

I don't know.

Perhaps I'll start with sleep.

YC Thankfulness (828)

Things that I am thankful for from my YC adventure:

806. Our great group of youth.
807. Fun passengers.
808. Silliness.
809. Tim Hortons.
810. My first ever chocolate latte.
811. Speakers who inspire kids to listen and show respect.
812. Crazy rock bands whom I can't understand but my son sings along with knowing every single word!
813. Those same bands who stop and speak about the love of Jesus - that I can understand.
814. Earplugs - for listening to those bands.
815. Opportunities for service.
816. The generosity of our community to support us in this venture.
817. The hospitality of strangers (not to us, but to the majority of our group) at the last minute - our own personal miracle.
818. Grandparents who look after the rest of our tribe while we're gone.
819. Praying partners in ministry.
820. Good news while we're gone - a friend's dog had puppies!
821. No injuries.
822. No vehicle problems.
823. Good attitudes over all - even while eating in the rain.
824. Servant hearts on display.
825. Extra pairs of shoes.
826. That the event was indoors.
827. The ladies that got our food ready for us.
828. Watching the sun come up as we drive home.
829. Changed hearts.
830. Prayer for revival in Canada.
831. Our incredible country.

an attitude of gratitue (805)

771. Plum blossoms caressing my neck as I walk beneath the trees.
772. warmth from a small sleeping body as I carry her to her bed.
773. long limbs sprawled out and I wonder how that ever fit inside me.
774. tiny plants meet mother earth
775. rain
776. sunshine
777. the maker of both
778. new cats
779. old dogs
780. anticipation
781. date night
782. regal, beautiful older women
783. delegation
784. a change of plans that makes things better
785. visits with dearly beloved folk
786. big smiles after a smooth performance
787. a job well done
788. phone calls that bless
789. the hum of my washing machine taking away the dirt and stains
790. little boys in new shirts
791. the bond of brothers
792. the love of sisters
793. young limbs that are now strong enough to do the tasks of a man
794. helping hands
795. my bed after a long day
796. mornings when it doesn't hurt so much
797. moments with my saviour
798. lisping prayers
799. delight over a newly learned song
800. playing duets with my children
801. trees laden with white dresses
802. spears of green through black earth
803. the scent of damp earth
804. a lawn freshly cut
805. a hug from someone you haven't seen in awhile

I Have a Dream

I Have a Dream
copyright lani wiens, 2010
a fresh flowers original

"Without oxen a stable stays clean,
but you need a strong ox for a large harvest."
Proverbs 14:4

I like clean. I like it a lot. However, with a busy household of eight people and a lifestyle of ministry and hospitality, mess is inevitable. Mess shows that there is life. Wherever there is life, you can be sure there will be a mess. If you don't believe me check out a birthing room sometime.

We like to avoid mess and work as much as possible. As a society we keep inventing machines and gadgets to help us avoid mess and work. On our farm we have a dream. It's a big messy dream with a lot of work involved. Some days I strongly dislike that dream because of all the work in entails. Most days, though, I wish the dream was reality.

We would like to be able to be as self-sustaining on our farm as possible, producing our own food, power and income. We have the bare beginnings of this in our first building that we've moved on. It's just a shell now, but with a lot of effort it will house chickens and a milk cow. From that we will be able to produce much of what eats up our grocery bill at the moment. We already have a fairly big garden area but we are looking at ways to make it more productive and produce more in a smaller area. We want more fruit trees, a wind turbine, a few head of cattle for beef, possibly a pig or two. Can you see it? I can. I can see the wonder of the harvest, gleaming shelves of jars full of fruit and vegetables, frothy milk being turned into butter and cheese, Freezers full of meat and vegetables. Golden wheat being milled for lovely bread (we already do that) spread with honey from our own beehives.

That lovely bubble pops around the time I think about how long it will take to get there and how much work it will take to make the dream a reality. I like the clean stable, but what I really want is the harvest, which means an ox is going to have to move in and oxen tend to poop. Yup, if you want to get a harvest you're going to have to deal with a little of that (or maybe a lot). All of that manure is great for the produce harvest.

Along with all of the dreams of our farm we have dreams for ministry as well. We see young people alive with passion for Jesus, giving up the things that hinder and distract them so that they can be sold out to their Father. We see passionate worship, intense prayer, hands and hearts that serve. We're not there yet. We could keep a clean ministry stable just having everyone pass through our stable and not leaving a lot in their wake other than a few fingerprints that are easily wiped away, or we can let them take up residence. We have some oxen in there doing their thing. Those oxen need to be trained, tended to and loved, they need to be fed and watered and yes, someone needs to tend to the poop. It tends to stink, but we can't leave it in the barn. In the end, after we've done the work, we'll get the large harvest. I can see it.

I'm looking for the harvest, I anticipate the harvest and I will revel in the harvest as it comes, in the meantime, I'm getting out my work gloves and rubber boots and a big shovel.

sunshine thanksgiving (770)

The sun/son is shining and my need to be thankful grows...

731. overflowing dugouts
732. water standing in ditches
733. brothers playing catch while waiting for the bus
734. a young boy whose voice is raised in worship carrying over the rest of the congregation
735. older sister reading to younger siblings all cuddled up together on the couch
736. discovered treasures in the second hand shop
737. young adults who mature and become helping hands together in ministry
738. phone lines that keep me connected to my young man so far away
739. dreams of little girls that tell her that her brother will be coming home
740. schoolwork quietly accomplished
741. seeds that grow into seedlings
742. warm, damp earth
743. little hands helping plant
744. the distant rumble of tractors
745. heavenly sunshine flooding my soul
746. scripture that speaks truth as we gather around the table
747. watching stressful tears dry as words of life pour in a troubled heart
748. accountability
749. long friendships that are deep and lasting
750. the hum of my sewing machine after a long absence
751. older hands serving younger hands
752. the profound privilege to watch these tender shoots grow up around my table
753. a good cup of tea
754. well-written books that lift the spirit
755. offerings of little fingers under bathroom doors
756. warm baths after a day outside
757. working side by side with my children
758. hearing words of affirmation and praise for my children from another's lips
759. calm, steady, loving presence of my devoted husband
760. a hug between father and son
761. playing and singing together as a family
762. laughter
763. new babies
764. shining eyes of a bride-to-be giving thanks for the blessings she's received
765. young people walking across the stage to a new chapter
766. satisfaction over a job well done
767. pinning clothes to the clothesline with my little girl
768. the smell of sunshine in my sheets
769. promise encased in paper packages...waiting
770. the air I breathe

The Power of Words

"The pen is mightier than the sword." - Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Have you ever been the focus of a nasty rumor or inaccurate gossip? Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone's angry tirade? Or worse yet, have you been the one dishing out the venom?

Over the last few weeks this theme has risen in several things I've been reading. How do I use my words? Words once sent out can't be taken back, like dandelion puffs, they scatter on the breath never to return. Words have the power to give life and encouragement or death and destruction. So often I find myself responding to my children with irritation in my voice. I felt chastised when I read an article reminding me that I am not only parenting my children but the generations to come as I sow my words into my children.

Scripture tells us that the power of life and death are on the tongue. I saw that again this morning as I carefully chastised my son for his disobedience. I began harshly with a superior attitude, saw him crush and crumple and realizing what I had done, carefully explained to him with gentleness and love how his actions had brought him to the place he was currently in. I saw life flow back into his spirit as he threw his scrawny arms around my neck asking for forgiveness. What a stark difference. It humbled me once again.

How cautious am I with the words I speak as I sit with friends watching my kids play sports or chatting after church in the foyer? Are the words I'm speaking going to cause hurt or misunderstanding to someone who overhears only snatches of what I say? I just read a book that had that very thing as its theme. One person overheard another make a judgment about someone they didn't really know, based on something they had heard and the whole town was suddenly up in arms, a family was desperately wounded and all manner of hurt and venom was poured out. Have I done that or participated in some way in another getting hurt by what I've said?

Lord, put a guard over my lips, if I cannot speak with love and gentleness, make me mute. Compose my heart and fill it with your Spirit when someone irritates me or there is frustration creating havoc in my mind. I want my words to bring healing, comfort and understanding. I want my example to bleed through my children so that they, too, respond to one another with gentleness rather than harsh criticism. Bless my tongue to speak your truth, seasoned with love Father. Amen.

Approved Clothing Guidelines for Reading at School

Today I had the privelege of going to school to read to my 6 year olds' class. Apparently he was a little concerned that I might embarass him or something. Last night he says, "I think you should wear your green sweater to school tomorrow."
"Which green sweater are you talking about? I've packed away most of the winter things."

"Open your drawer and I'll show you which one I'm talking about," he says as he walks to my bedroom.

"Okay," I say, curious as to where this is all heading. I open my drawer and show him the two green shirts that are there.

"That one!" He exclaims as he points to the lime green shirt, "You should wear that one and your black pants."

The only black pants I can think of are also packed away for the summer but I go to my closet and pretend to look for them, finally telling him that they aren't there. He bursts into the closet and says, "No, no, the black pants like the ones you're wearing." I look down at my legs. Aha, I think, my yoga pants. I pull them off the stack, "These ones?"

"Yes, those ones. Now put them on so I can see what it looks like."
"Right now?"
"Yes, I want to check to make sure it's good for your day at school."
"Okay," I say and proceed to change into my Sasha-approved outfit.
As I come out he gives me the thumbs up. "That looks great, now fold them up and put them on your dresser so you remember to where them for your day at school. I'll write you a note so you won't forget." Which he proceeds to do. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing, he was so serious about the whole thing!!

When I arrived at school I was curious to see what his reaction would be to the black sweater I had added to his approved ensemble. He wasn't impressed. He dead-panned me and said, "You added a sweater."

I don't think I embarassed him too badly, everyone liked wrapping up in my quilts as I read, "The Quiltmaker's Gift" to them. I'm pretty sure he was okay with me when all was said and done but it sure was funny.

blank

This morning I had about 4 different ideas about very eloquent things to write. Spiritually uplifting things, somewhat humorous things, insightful things.

Now my mind is blank.

Sorry.

Finding my Niche

Do you ever wonder what your role is? I have taught many times (and been taught) that God created each of us uniquely and each of us has a particular role to play in this world - nobody else can fill our spot. Sometimes, however, I struggle with exactly what my spot is! Unfortunately I am one of those people who likes affirmation through the things that I can do. I can do lots of things but I can always find someone else who does that thing better than I do. So if they are already filling that spot where exactly is mine?

I am a stay-at-home, home-schooling, pastor/farmer's wife/mom. We live in a little bitty town. Opportunity for employment isn't huge and even if it was, I don't have time to work outside our farm because the farm takes all of our time. We have big plans and dreams for it and they'll take plenty of time, too. My husband constantly assures me that my value is not tied up in what I can do and I know that. Scripture is abundantly clear on the subject, but I really would like to know if there is something else I should be doing, getting ready to do or am I already doing it and not aware that I am!

Even this blog is a conundrum to me right now. I have thousands of thoughts that I think I should blog and I don't. This blog began as a way for me to archive the articles I've written and actually had a bit of a following at one time. Now it lies dormant, like my flower beds and it saddens me to think of it, yet I'm not sure it's time for a resurrection just yet.

I guess I'll just have to wait on the Lord and see, no answers are popping out of the computer screen just now.

Princess Peanut turns 4

My little peanut turned 4 a few days ago. It seems that she was born yesterday and at the same time I cannot imagine the world without her. Three months before she was conceived I had had a miscarriage and was quite devasted by it. After the death of that child I felt like God whispered to my spirit that I would be pregnant again in three months. Prior to all of this we had seriously thought we were done having kids but God just wouldn't let us do anything permanent about it. Because of that unsettledness we knew that whatever happened next was in God's hands.

My birthday was about three months after that miscarriage and it just happened to be my birthday, I was a little late but didn't think much of it yet, I'd been a little late before. However, my husband, full of faith, bought me a pregnancy test for my birthday. It was positive! What a wonderful birthday surprise. Thus began my most difficult pregnancy. Food refused to stay in my body going in one end and out the other at a surprisingly rapid pace. The one time in your life where you want to gain weight and I wasn't! In the middle of all that we were closing a VERY long deal on our house and moving into a new one. Add on to that we were anticipating surgery on Sam's heart, which happened to coincide with the move-in date. I was just a wee bit stressed.

On Wednesday, I'd had a doctor's visit and he proclaimed all was well though the baby was a little small, I still had another 5 weeks to go. Sunday, I didn't feel too well and opted to stay home from church while Kelly and the kids went, he had to go since he was preaching that day. I'd had this 'feeling' before and told that baby that it could not come until after daddy was done preaching. He came home without any kids in tow having farmed them all out to friend's houses for the day. We had a lovely quiet lunch and had decided to go visit our friends who had just had their baby on Friday. It was somewhere in the midst of that lunch that contractions began.

They were continuing at a fairly even pace so we figured we'd continue with our plan, head to the hospital, check it out and if all was well, go visit OR have a baby, whichever came first. When we got there, sure enough I was in labour. It wasn't moving along that fast and at about 5:30 or so the contractions stopped so we figured we could go home, but we had to wait for the doctor to give me the okay. She took a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOng time coming, long enough for things to start again a little more intensely! We found out later that what took her so long was another baby from our church that she was delivering!
So off to labour and delivery we went. It was so strange to have labour go on for so long - 12 hours was a record! (the longest being 4.5 hours) Little did we know that our families were extremely worried since it had never taken this long before. Elizabeth was born at about 1 AM, with the neo-natal doctors standing at the ready since she was 5 weeks early. We got to hold her for about and hour before they whisked her away due to blood sugar issues, irregular heart beat and low body temp. We stayed in the hospital for about a week to make sure everything was good and then headed home. What a blessing this sweet little girl has been to our home.
Elizabeth loves to dance and sing and play. Her name means promise of God, and that's what she is. Happy birthday princess peanut, we love you so very much!

New Motherhood

Yup, I finally decided it was time to write another bit wit and wisdom on here and I am completely blank as I stare at the screen. I've been thinking about this role of motherhood alot lately. My baby is turning 4 in another week and my eldest is taller than me and stronger than me and will soon be heavier than me. He scares me just a little. He's a teenager and I'm caught in the grand dichotomy of motherhood - parenting with authority and moving to the side to let him grow. It is extremely difficult to know which place to be in at any given moment. Such a man/child he is. One moment helping his dad move huge sheets of plywood and drywall in for a renovation project - telling his dad exactly which way to move the boards so they can get around the tight corner and the next moment lying on the floor playing Lego with his brothers.

He is one of those boys that all the girls like and want attention from. Not too sure how to parent that either. I was not one of the popular kids and neither were my siblings, I don't know how to do this thing anymore. Where does that leave me? Begging for wisdom from the One who knows the answers to these problems. And he gives it. Thank the good Lord for that.

To new things...hopefully some joy....

Happy New Year!!

I am cold.

The wind is blowing very hard in a blizzardy type way.

Did I mention that I am cold?

Hoping new things for a new year...

New attitudes.

New thoughts.

New ways of being.

Hoping to leave behind.

Old attitudes.

Old thoughts.

Old ways of being.

Looking for JOY. This word has been pursing me and I need to know why. On pillows, book jackets, inside cards, even on the television at the dentist's office...probably a dozen times or more this word has been in my face. I need to know what it really means. Joy. Not the 'happy is on the outside, Joy is on the inside' definition, something bigger, more profound, more real and touchable and seeable. I need a definition that works itself out.

Today's date is 01/01/2010. That seems very beginning-ish doesn't it. So here we are at the beginning of something new. Have a great year.

I am still cold.

Possibly colder than when I started writing...

I think I'll find my bed and the personal heater it contains :)

nighty night

Christmas thanks (730)

"It's Christmas, a time to praise the Lord,

a time to lift our hearts in worship,

Saviour to adore..."

That's a line from the finale of the Christmas musical we performed last night. It was really a family affair for us this year. All of my kids were involved in the production (acting, dancing, singing and props), Kelly was on the keyboard and technology stuff and I was co-directing with my good friend/cousin-in-law. The whole thing went so well I was just thrilled.

This Christmas has felt different for me somehow. Not so stressful. Part of that has been that we started our Christmas shopping way early which helped cut down on the shopping panic. As well, I've been trying to 'shop'n'pray' - Keeping things simple and not necessarily making or buying something because I feel obligated to but because the Lord has moved my heart to do so...I'm finding way more joy in that process and none of the making or purchasing has felt like a burden in any way.

I've been trying to keep Jesus the centre of my focus which isn't always easy to do when you're running to practices and trying to get things done. When you add family stresses to that - things that are, unfortunately, common to our household and a little sickness, things can weigh you down pretty quickly. But God has been faithful to me through this stressful time and I am so grateful. I realized I haven't been adding to my thankful list for awhile, so I think it's time to do so again.

717. I am so thankful for friends who call at the last minute to say, "I was thinking of setting up the dessert tables for the program with tablecloths, red napkins and poinsettias, would that be okay with you?" Would it? Of course it would, what a blessing to have a pretty table. Thank you Linda.

718. I asked one of our church ladies to bake a birthday cake for Jesus for the end of the program, she completely outdid herself and made not only a delicious and beautiful cake but one rich with meaning as well. Thank you Mary.

719. I'm so thankful for our church family and how they chip in and get done what needs to be done.

720. Thankful for all the people who showed up in -30 degree weather to cheer the kids on.
721. Thankful for all the kids and youth who did such a great job of singing, dancing, acting and getting things ready.
722. Thankful for the musicians, not only for their skill and ability but that they recognized when it might be better to use the soundtrack on a couple of the more difficult songs.
723. Thankful for the support people, sound, costumes, dressers, and all of that.
724. I'm thankful my sister-in-law went ahead and bought tickets for the Steve Bell concert on Saturday night even though it was crazy to go. He played with the Saskatoon Symphony and it was beyond amazing - an incredible, unforgettable experience. I LOVED IT.
725. Thankful for friends of my kids who are excited to see them this coming weekend.
726. I am grateful for the skill the Lord has given me to make bread. There is no better scent on a cold wintry day than fresh bread right out of the oven.
727. I'm thankful for the generous gift from one of our congregation that allowed us to purchase a family game that we've been thinking about for over a year but was out of our budget.
728. Thankful for the beauty of Christmas, the internals and externals. I LOVE sitting and looking at my pretty tree in the dark of the evening after the kids are in bed.
729. I'm particularly thankful that we have a reason to celebrate the season, it isn't just about money and gifts but has a deeper, richer meaning that commercialism can't erase.
730. Today I'm thankful to be able to sit here in the sunshine and be thankful...

tornado warning

I've never actually been in a tornado, but I think I have an inkling of what it might be like. Every once in awhile a tornado in the form of my son rips through our house leaving devestation in its wake. Broken things, hurt emotions, frayed nerves. How do people survive who live in 'tornado alley'? Why do they stay there when they could move? Why do we stay here for that matter and endure harsh winters and drought filled summers? Because it is home.

In spite of the possibility of being devestated by the weather we remain because we can't imagine living elsewhere. It is the same with our son. We will continue to work these difficulties out day by day, moment by moment because one day, the weather patterns might just change.

In the meantime we'll clean up the broken glass and search out how to mend the bent emotions and work toward reconciliations and healing. Life is just so messy.

slowing down (716)

"Slow down mom, you're going too fast."

This from my daughter while I'm reading Ann's post about that very thing. I am almost always too impatient, wanting things to happen. Not wanting to take the time for things to come to me. Wanting for everything to fall into place the first time. And in my hurry I rush towards anxiety, fear and disaster. Help me slow down, Lord, help me wait a little, learn to trust a little more. So often I have short-circuited the blessing you intended by taking matters into my own hands. Today, this moment, help me to trust you and to be thankful that you are working on my behalf, arranging things better than I can, today, help me walk a little slower so that these young ones who are trying to follow can see where I am going...

Let my gratitude to you slow me down a little...

691. the majority of the harvest is in, just one little slough of canola (after the wind these last two days, we may not have to worry about it, it may have blown away)

692. everyone working together to collect bales for the first time

693. repentance and remorse after one brother unintentionally hurts another
694. forgiveness offered and love extended
695. being mom of a winning team member who feels like he contributed something to the team
696. four walls around me as the bitter winds whips around the corners of the house
697. the sweet cacophony of kids testing out their skills on instruments
698. the joy bubbles breaking on faces of father and son as they both realize that this little boy has natural rhythm
699. "band" practice in the living room, all flying sticks, trombone, keyboards and smiles
700. the face of my husband, back in the family circle after a long harvest season
701. a day without tension between my behaviourly challenged son and myself
702. truth from God's word reminding me that he is WAY bigger than the issues we face
703. fruit developing in the kids we try to make a difference with
704. changed lives
705. community that supports and helps in difficult times
706. the Canadian health care system that means we aren't forking money out every time we show up at the health centre with another emergency
707. the taste of sun-ripened tomatoes fresh from my garden
708. the anticipation of salsa making with my good friend
709. piling on more quilts to stay warm as the weather turns colder
710. finding something that inspires my ADD son to do schoolwork without being nagged
711. the anticipation of going away for a few days with my sweetheart to retreat with other pastors and ministers of the gospel, enjoying each other's company, good food, games and rest
712. a perfectly brewed cup of tea on a cold day
713. hope is rising

714. the discovery of egg rings - maybe not huge, but it shows me somedays that these kids are actually observing the world around them

715. first attempts at sewing

716. the little package I got for my birthday that turned into this....

more grace (690)

I am officially tired of harvest. My husband puts in ridiculously long hours. There are days when we don't even see him except for the indent in the bed, so I know he splept at some point. We are nearing the finishing line and I'll be doing a happy dance when we do!



I know I shouldn't complain there are tons of single moms out there doing this ALL the time, I pray that God will give you much grace for the race, I don't think I'd be very good at this full time. I'm sure my kids think I've turned into the wicked witch of the west - but that's what lack of sleep and constant demands will do to you. I've been plagued with headaches for the last week so that hasn't exactly contributed to a happy mommy either. I'm thinking I should quit griping and find some things to be thankful about...

678. Harvest is actually going pretty well.
679. We have had really good harvest weather.
680. Found the sweetest little skirt for my princess at Value Village.
681. Homeschooling is going pretty well so far, even though I still don't really have lesson plans, etc. figured out.
682. There are huge trucks coming to pick up our lentils today - hopefully that will take the edge off of our financial squeeziness.
683. I am thankful for Advil, doesn't take the headache out completely, but it does take the edge off it.
684. Last Saturday my kids worked really hard with very little nagging, because of that my garage is clean, I had no idea that my eldest could work that long and consistently on something that he would normally hate doing.
685. I got some fabric in the mail, it took awhile but it finally came.
686. I danced in the kitchen with my boys, how often does a mom get to do that!!
687. My son sat me down and insisted I learn to play their new LOTR game online, he's a pretty good teacher.
688. I have a wonderful hard-working husband who farms with integrity and loves me completely and pastors with passion. How I love him.
689. The writer's group didn't tell me my writing sucks...they actually liked it.

The Joy of Giving

Mmmm, just had to write something today, it's been too long for someone who loves playing with words, juggling, casting, auditioning. Words are such a powerful too to convey so much. Think about what we use words for, we convey every emotion, spill out our thoughts, teach.

Words, what a lovely gift the Lord gave us. (677)

The other day my daughter and I got a little giddy! We started going through the school supplies I purchased this year, after we sent the public school kids off there was still a pretty good pile. We took out what we figured we'd need for our homeschool efforts and still had a few things that were extras. The pile was intriguing, we knew we didn't really need it.

So we started filling a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child. Pencil crayons, wax crayons, a pair of scissors.

"Oh, she'll need paper, we have lots of that!"
"Yes, yes, some lined, some plain."
"What about glue sticks, we have lots of those."
"Certainly, and go find some colored cardstock."
"What about this little purse, it could go in, couldn't it?"
"I'll get some fabric."
"Oh, then needles and thread are a must."
"Embroidery thread!! Lots of colours!"
"I think I'd like to get this box!"
"Me, too! What else can we put in?"
"Candy! Do we have any?"
"Not at home, we'll have to get some at the store, there's still room in here. More fabric?"
"Can I decorate the top of the box?"
"I'll print out the label."

We had so much fun. I was supposed to be working on something else but the joy of giving grabbed us and wouldn't let go. What a wonderful way to spend an hour, doing something for someone we don't know, who has little to nothing. We imagined where the box might go. A refugee camp in Tanzania? A poor neighborhood in South America? We imagined the delighted look on some young girl's face as she discovered the treasures we put in the box, things we love to do going to someone else. We blessed the box to go to someone for whom these treasures would mean the world. Maybe they'd be able to sew a little and sell the items for food. We don't know, but we were dripping with joy.

Perhaps we'll get the chance to make more boxes this year. I'm hoping for six, one for each of our children. It isn't much really. May I encourage to be a giver, if you're searching for joy you will surely find it there!

School Started? (676)

I think 'school' may have started today in my house. I wasn't intending to, it birthed itself. My 5.5 year old wanted to learn to read something before he starts grade 1 on Monday. So we learned the 'at' family of words, wrote a little story, he illustrated it and now he has a book he can read all by himself. I LOVE the lights that come on in their face when they realize that they're getting it!! I used to want to be a teacher in a school because of that very thing, then got very turned off by the college of Education that I was enrolled in. I decided that if I was going to be forced to teach the garbage that they set out and submit to those who called themselves leaders in that college then I was done.

However, during that year I did a project for a class that contrasted public, private and home education. I had never heard of home education really, it was very foreign to me. That assignment planted a seed that sprouted and grew. We haven't ever home-educated all our children at one time (who knows, that time may come at some point) but have been home-educating one or two of them at a time for the last 7 years, with the exception of a year or two when Samuel and Sasha were born.

While I was in the middle of teaching Sasha to read, Samuel asked for some difficult words to read. So I tried to think up some things that should be difficult for a kid going into grade 2. Words like hippopotamus, grotesque, tsunami, jugular, sympathy and stuff like that. It took him a seconde to realize sympathy wasn't symphony and other than that, grotesque was the only word that gave him any pause.

From reading and vocabulary we launched into French. The three of them asking me what this was in French and what that was. Asking me to speak sentences and translate them. This sparked Abby who knows some French to start teaching her brothers what she knew. They went over colours and some other common objects. We were having quite a bit of fun with that.

After that we got to talking about Karate Kid and martial arts and suddenly everyone was seeing how high we could kick - a little phys ed thrown in. Earlier they had been asking each other what 2-1-1 was and what 900 + 900 was as they played with a calculator.

Isn't that how learning should take place. Naturally. Not overwhelming. Little pieces at a time that are easily swallowed and digested? Older children helping younger children. I love to learn with my kids. I love when the lights come on for them. Granted at times if feels overwhelming and more than I can bear, especially when I get behind in marking! But we're going to try a bit more of the Charlotte Mason approach in narration and seeing what they know rather than testing to find out what they don't know and showing them all their failures.

A few more gifts to share:

673. A good day with my difficult son yesterday.
674. A big brother helping a little sister without being prompted by mom.
675. Fun with schoolwork, without even trying.
676. Praying with my sister-in-law as we try to encourage each other through our days.

Birthday gifts (672)

Today is my birthday and I have so many things to be thankful for. I want to give all my praise to the author and finisher of my faith, without that, I would be nothing and have nothing. Without Him, I deserve nothing and yet I have so much.
641. Salvation - spiritual birth that is worth more than life itself.
642. Grace - I so need Him to get through each and every moment.
643. Mercy - cause I am not that good at being good!
644. Truth - beats the lies every time.
645. Peace - in times of great stress and trial, it is there, underlying all the other stuff, waiting.
646. My family - what a joy they were today. The six of them worked together this morning to clean the kitchen and living room while I was away serving at a funeral. They were all alive and happy with one another when I got home.
647. My little boy who swiped a piece of fabric from my stash last week, wrapped it up and kept it hidden so he could 'surprise' me today with a 'blanket' just for me. How sweet is that!
648. Once again, thankful that my children are alive, healthy and learning to love Jesus.
649. Thankful for the skills and abilities that I have been blessed with.
650. Thankful that I get opportunities to share those gifts and skills with others.
651. The ladies that have become my friends in this town, you are truly a gift to me.
652. My mom and dad who have hosted my kids for the last bit - they had so much fun.
653. My husband's family, we spent the afternoon with them yesterday, what a great bunch. And the ones we didn't see yesterday, they're amazing, too.
654, The rest of my family, close and extended are pretty wonderful, too.
655. My big boys, playing with their little sister on the beach today.
656. The man at the concession who bought me a bottle of water today for my birthday - so sweet.
657. The beach today, quiet and calm and so beautiful.
658. A non-stressful day today.
659. Good fiction.
660. Inspiring reading.
661. Scrapbooking - such a fun way to share the stories of our family.
662. Upcoming events - the're a gift to anticipate, sitting unopened.... I love surprises.
663. Fresh green beans from my garden.
664. When the numbers on the scale actually start going down!!!
665. Chocolate cake baking in the oven - that is truly the best recipe ever!!!
666. Possibilities of tea dates and quilting dates.
667. New projects.
668. We finally started combining.
669. The joy in my husband's voice that he is sitting in a combine taking the crop off.
670. Our spiritual family - you rock!
671. The opportunity to encourage someone towards Jesus.
672. Uncles who ask you encouraging questions.
673. Homemade loveliness from my mommy.
674. Storebought loveliness from my other mom.
675. My sister.
676. My nieces and nephews - growing up so nicely.
677. The beginninig of another youth year starting soon.

My cake is ready to take out...I'm going to ignore the fact that I should really avoid that cake tonite in honor of my birthday and eat it...guilt free!!

Passing from death to life

There is nothing like a near death experience to bring you face to face with the reality of the gift of life, especially when it's one of your kids. My oldest son almost died today but because of God's grace he did not. Some people may consider all that happened a series of lucky coincidences, we say that is the hand of God sparing us a tragedy beyond words.

Kelly and Josiah were moving grain this morning. Josiah was in the back of the truck when Kelly started lifting the hoist. Josiah lost his footing and got sucked down into the gate of the truck while tons of grain poured down on him. He managed to keep his hands free and started throwing grain to signal Kelly that he was in trouble. Fortunately he had a dust mask on or his lungs and airways would have filled up with grain by the time Kelly got to him.

Kelly saw his signal and his first thought was that he was just being silly but decided to go check what he was doing. He saw his rear end stuck in the gate and realized that Josiah was in big trouble. He tried to pull him out but couldn't. Quickly he went and lowered the hoist to take the pressure of the grain off of him and started digging him out. He moved fast enough that Josiah hadn't passed out but his lips were definately blue by the time he got to him. As I said, with that much grain on top of him, without a dustmask on, he would have been dead by then, drowned in wheat, the very thing that puts food on our table.

We're all a little shaky today, sobered by reality. We learned a valuable lesson in safety and a spiritual lesson as well. Sometimes our kids are doing what appears to be silly or foolish, but they're really sending out a desparate cry for help, if we draw near, quickly, we might be able to hear something that we wouldn't have otherwise.

While I am still shaking inside I want to give praise to my heavenly Father for saving my son today, for giving my husband the ability to think and act quickly on his behalf and that I wasn't there to see it!

Blessings