The last few days have been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I performed my last services as a leader at Hope - leading communion - what a sweet way to go. The ladies retreat was wonderful and difficult at the same time. I couldn't stop weeping for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I felt like I was carrying other people's burdens, another time I was weeping for the losses coming up, and at other times feeling the pain of people I love at odds with each other. I came home tired and drained in a good way.
This morning was back to packing and cleaning. I've been amazed at how my kids have been rolling with this. I haven't been all that available to them, at least, not as much as usual and they've been doing pretty well. Today the garage started cleaning out - three loads have already gone to the dump. THREE, I can hardly believe there was that much crap in there, okay, acutally I can believe it. It wasn't even all ours. But it won't be coming along!!! Yippee! Only a few more days before we head down there and paint and put in floors as fast as we physically can. Our days in the city can be counted on one hand. wow.
Tonite, my wonderful husband took me shopping with his first paycheque as a pastor. He let me get whatever I wanted (within reason of course). I felt like a queen! I got three new shirts, a pair of shoes, and bras - wonderful, new, non-nursing pretty bras! I got shirts and shoes for my girls - so fun! And school supplies for the kiddos going into school in two weeks. We even found pants for him on a clearance rack that are new! We have not really shopped for clothing that we didn't absolutely need for a number of years - it was quite an experience. God has so faithfully supplied everything we've needed for these years in the desert. We feel a little like we're moving into the promised land.
I had to get up close and personal with the fact that I am being stripped of all that I've ever known and done and am getting a whole new portfolio. This should be interesting and will most likely supply good fodder for writing material. I'm okay with it but a little fearful, too. I'm looking forward to God painting me a new picture to look at.