'fresh flowers' as a weekly encouragment in your inbox has taken quite a long break, longer than I imagined it would be. The original reason I went on hiatus was because life was a little crazy around our house with moving, new baby and big decisions to make. However, as time went on without writing the enemy began to infilitrate my thought processes. I began to think that my writing didn't impact anyone, that I had nothing to say that would encourage anyone, and quietly, in the back of my head that I wasn't really good enough to be used by God anyway.
Over the course of this summer God began to challenge my thinking on those fronts. He brought me back to my secret place, reforging the bonds of intimacy between us. He began to heal my emotions and get my feet remembering that they were planted on a rock. He started to renew my spirit as I cried out to Him.
Out of that came a conviction to begin a women's Sunday School class, with the ulterior motive that perhaps I would get some of my own questions answered. The main one being, "Can God use an ordinary person like me to do anything at all?" God led me to a study by Angela Thomas called, "A Beautiful Offering". In the introduction she shares her story of feeling unlovely, invisible and broken. She tells her story of 'pretending for Jesus'. I find myself identifying with her on many of these issues, there are many times when I've pretended, felt less than adequate and certainly not beautiful. Through her book by the same name I've come to realize that God values brokeness, He knows that we are not enough all by ourselves and that we'll never make it alone. He knows we desparately need a Saviour. He loved us enough to give us one.
Then, just this week, I took some our youth group girls to an event called Beautiful Unique Girl. It didn't just impact our girls, it left it's mark on me, too. Or rather, God did. He reminded me that I am indeed, created Very Good, most excellent, magnificent, the crown of all creation. Then I was challenged to give my dream to God to see what He would do with it. I wrote down my desires and presented them to Him. My dreams scare me to be quite honest. I have a strange desire to write, to speak in front of people, to use the music and the creative gifts God has given me to impact His kingdom. They aren't everyone's dreams, but they are the ones He's given me. Within minutes after that presentation a lady came to me and asked me, "Are you fresh flowers? I read your blog quite often." Someone else sent me a message on facebook asking me if I still wrote because his mother so enjoyed having fresh flowers read to her, they had blessed her greatly before she died.
And so, with a humble heart I will once again offer the flowers that God sends me to you. Where this journey will take me, I don't know, but God does and we'll go together. My prayer is that fresh flowers will encourage you and lift you up for that is the purpose and maybe once in awhile to push you out of your comfort zone a little. There will be extra tidbits of our crazy house posted on my blog if you care to see what we're up to. I invite you to share with me your flowers, the things God impresses on you because they are encouraging to me. Most of all, today, I want you to know that God thinks you're beautiful, that He did not make any mistakes in His design of you. He wants you to dream with Him and see where that might take you. It only takes one person to begin to change the world, let it start with you.