Thursday, April 05, 2012

What to Say

I haven't written much lately but it isn't because I have nothing to say, it's more like there is so much to say I don't know where to begin.

I am so thankful that you read this blog.  If you've only recently found it I encourage you to go back through the archives and be inspired by some of the things that the Lord has taught me along the way.  If you've been around awhile you know that the flowers haven't been blooming so much lately.  I'm learning things, they just aren't very pleasant lessons.  I read this quote in a bathroom stall recently..

"Life is the cruelest of teachers, first it gives you the test 
and then teaches you the lesson."

This seems so true unless you realize that God is in the picture and He's teaching and coaching right through the test and keeps giving us re-writes until our slow minds can comprehend what it is He's trying to do.  And every lesson is the same:
I am enough.
Lean on me.
Don't try so hard.
I am the answer to your question.

And still I need to be taught and so I sit in these hard, dry days and wonder if I'll ever learn.  Wondering if I'll ever figure out that I don't need to do it right in order to be right loved.

So I do what I know I shouldn't, I back away trying to protect myself rather than move forward into embrace.  I fight against what's happening rather than allowing the waves to carry me up and into shore.

So rather than write and get out all that is in my soul I sit silent and hope that someone hears.

And He does.

And He comes with a word wrapped in a song and reminds me that He delights in me and it's okay if I can't do it all and He certainly isn't expecting me to.

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