Friday, September 28, 2012

5 minute Friday - GRASP

5 minute Friday is a writing exercise based on a single thought spun out from Gypsy Mama (link is at the bottom of the post)...just a place to practice writing real, unedited...

Theme for this week:  GRASP

I haven't done one of these before because...

I grasp after perfection...
I grasp after security...
I grasp after affirmation...

Just yesterday my husband read me something that said something to the effect that whatever causes us anxiety is probably a place where we have a stronghold, something unsurrendered

something like my imperfectly decorated house
something like my unfinished projects because I'm scared to actually do the thing and have it out where someone might not like it...

cause I so badly want that affirmation and perfection...and I know it isn't mine to have

because the more I grasp after my life and my desires the more out of reach they become

i need to grasp after His hem, his garment so I can be healed from the slow leak that drains me of life

i need to grasp after His ability to provide instead of trying to take on the task of providing for us, because surely I can do something more to help the bottom line get back into the red

but maybe if i did a little grasping after the dreams He has put in my hard, really truly grabbed hold and made them mine, these dreams He's dreamed for me...maybe I would feel secure and affirm and slowly perfected into something other than what I am now...maybe

linked up at:

Five Minute Friday

7 comments:

Jess said...

I hope you continue to grasp after the dreams He is giving your heart first and foremost. Those dreams we have, some big and some small, they all still seem so unattainable don't they? But God gives us our dreams for a reason and purpose. Our job is to have faith, follow his leading, grasp his hem first.

Thanks for sharing! This was my first 5 Minute Friday too!

Jan Cox said...

Oh I can so fully relate to your grasping. I did that too until I finally learned to surrender. You know the song - I Surrender All. Well it works.

As we give up our control and our attempst at "doing something" we come to a place of acceptance - of love. Pure and simple - God loves us just as we are. He made us you know.

Praying for you to listen to Him. Do not fear. He is always with you.

I am a reformed perfectionist. It is a much more relaxed way to live.

Blessings,
I can't link from either of my wordpress sites.
underthecoverofprayer.wordpress.com
or
www.janiscox.com
But I will link from Google.

Blessings as you grow, live and learn,
Jan

Mary B said...

Welcome to 5 Minute Friday...this is REALLY good!! REALLY GOOD! Thank you so much for sharing.

Mary
http://memyselfandmercy.blogspot.com/

Lisa said...

Beautiful words Lani...I can relate on so many levels! What a wise bit of advise your husband gave you and I love your thoughts that follow about grasping onto HIS hem...Great job with your first 5 Minute Friday!!!

dayebydaye said...

Welcome to 5 minute Friday! It wasn't that bad, was it?!! My post followed a similar path today, but a slightly different outcome.
I hope that you will continue to join in FMF. It is a beautiful reminder that we don't have to be perfect. In fact, it's when we stop trying that He is truly able to work through us. All the best!

Denise said...

Praying for you dear.

Lani - the flowerlady said...

thank you all for your comments...they've made my heart sing...so blessed by you today!