fresh flowers for September 30

Two Way Communication
©2005, lani wiens
a fresh flowers original

My sincere apologies for leaving you without flowers last week.

We were out at my husband’s family farm last week helping bring in the harvest. As part of their education the two oldest boys were out on the field with dad, grandpa and uncle. Their cousin was out there, too. At one point son #2 and cousin must have been in the grain truck while uncle was unloading. At any rate, we’re pretty sure they must have been on their own for a few minutes or the following event would most likely have been interrupted. I’m glad it wasn’t or I wouldn’t have had this flower to share with you!

Our boy, Chris wanted to talk to his dad who was out driving the combine somewhere. His cousin instructed him on the use of the FM radio that we use to communicate between vehicles and the farmhouse. This is what we heard.

“Dad?” – the unsure voice of ‘is this thing on?’
“Daddy?” – getting a little bolder now
“Daddy, I want to talk to you!” – accompanied by little boy snickers
There is a tiny blip in which Dad attempts to answer but the boys don’t give him a chance.
“Daaaaaaaad!” – accompanied by said cousin in the background encouraging him to try it again only louder!
“DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!” – with gales of laughter which finally prompt the boy to take his thumb off of the mike allowing his dad to answer.
Daddy finally has a chance to break in and explain that Christopher has to stop talking long enough to allow Daddy to answer.

Meanwhile, back at the farm, we women are having a little chuckle. A flower pops up as I realize that sometimes I am so busy trying to get God’s attention that I forget to be quiet and listen. I don’t realize that He has been trying to answer but I won’t get off the radio long enough to let Him break in.

A friend gave this to me once, a paraphrase of one line of a Psalm, let it sink in...

Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know that I
Be still and know that
Be still and know
Be still and
Be still
Be

shocking

Don't be too shocked........I'm actually posting something. I'm shocked that I can so easily leave my blogosphere behind when the rest of life gets big. It has been such a big part of what I used to do each day. However, morning sicknes/afternoon fatigue/evening sickness, homeschooling and life in general have pushed this thing way down the priority list and that probably isn't gonna change a whole heap. sorry for all you fans out there who were just dying for any tidbit from me........oh.......there aren't any of those........oh well then , for those of you who drop in now and then;

I'm pregnant
we still haven't sold our house
therefore we still have not moved
I'm extremely annoyed with our dog at the moment
I really would like the baby to go back to sleep without me going up there and getting him another bottle but it probably isn't going to happen
we've been out at the farm helping with harvest
we're leading a bible study group and it looks like it should be a great group to work with
I'm pregnant




still pregnant (this seems to rule my days at the moment)
my eldest son put an extra hole in his chin yesterday trying to be helpful in a store, many stitches later and 4 hours at the hospital we finally got home
#3 son stuffed some kleenex up his nose several weeks ago and we had to go see a specialist to get it removed - very disgusting.
I'm pretty sick of doctors this week - the kids all had their annual physicals this week, too
Had to take girl to the chiropractor cause she fell off and swing and didn't bother to tell me about it until she was jumping on a trampoline and couldn't continue because her back hurt too much - it was waaaaaaaaaaaay out of place.

I'm tired and that babe isn't going back to sleep.

I'm pregnant.
Really enjoying pickles, olives and chocolate.........

Later

fresh flowers for September 17

Finding Joy in the Journey
©2005, Lani Wiens
a fresh flowers original

One of my biggest questions as we’ve explored the road of suffering this summer is this. Where is the joy? We are supposed to be counting it all joy when we encounter trials because it is producing His life in us. My friends, I haven’t always found suffering to be a joyful experience. However, this week God gave me a little glimpse of how it looks.

This pregnancy has had me nauseous from the very beginning. I am deeply grateful that I never actually throw up but nausea as your constant companion does not a happy mommy make. Then there is my amazing gag reflex to top it off, prompted by raw chicken, diaper pails and laundry. Believe I it or not, I am thrilled to death to be sick. I am not so sick as to be incapacitated but feel yucky most of the time. This has not been my experience to date in any of my pregnancies. I have been one of those people who just doesn’t get sick. Not this time.

As I was talking to another pregnant friend who can’t even stand to be in her house because she’s so sick she reminded me of something her mom had told her. That sickness is a great indicator that everything is okay on the inside. Your hormones and your body are doing what they’re supposed to do. So as I gag, I rejoice, this sickness is God’s way of letting me know that my baby is okay and my body is producing life. There is joy in the suffering.

I’m ecstatic that my pants are getting too tight. Any other time of my life I would not be happy about that, but now, my jeans have given way to sweatpants and soon to those lovely panel pants, I can hardly wait. None of these things happened when I was pregnant earlier this year. I was happy that I was 10 weeks pregnant and could fit all my pants, it should have been an alarm bell in my head that things weren’t right. I am an instant expansion model and am usually putting away my regular pants by 8 weeks. I’m there now and I’m packing them up with joy!

Another example of this joy was found in the aftermath of a jam session. This jam session had nothing to do with music and everything to do with strawberries and rhubarb. I made jam this week and it tastes wonderful. My kitchen, however, did not look wonderful after I was done. There was sticky red blobs all over the place, on the pots, spoons, counters, stove, jars and on sticky happy children. That huge mess was necessary to get to the final result. There was joy in the cleaning up because there was fruit as a result of all that mess. My kids’ hard work in the strawberry fields would not go to waste, the jam is on the shelf.

Because I know that there is fruit and life as a result of mess and suffering I can have joy in the midst of it. There IS joy in the journey. Yippee!

updates

You've probably noticed that flowers aren't popping up quite so frequently anymore. Blogging has taken a much lower place on the priority list since homeschool has started in earnest. I thought I'd take a moment to write down some great things that God is doing...

I absolutely love home schooling and am not ashamed to admit it. All my life I wanted to be a teacher. I went to University and started my degree and realized I didn't agree at all with the philosophies behind the public education system and what I'd be forced to do as a teacher in that system. I quit.

We've entered into a lovely 'unforced rhythm of grace' in our approach to our school days and it's been going remarkably well. The boys have been mostly cooperative. I love watching their minds catch onto a concept. I love it when Christopher declares he doesn't need my help with the rest of the questions because he understands. I love it when he chants, "I did it in a zip!" and gets to put another sticker on his page. I love it that Sasha loves Thomas the Tank Engine and will watch it for awhile so I can do one on one time with the big guys.

On the house front - we are free of the shackles of real estate agent world once again. Hallelujah! We'll be putting the house back on saskhouses.com in the next day or two - tell all your friends. I love hearing Sam pray for the buyer of our house, and for their dog, he is so full of faith.

Our financial mentor was over last night and continues to help us set up a financial framework that actually works for more than a week or two. Amazing and encouraging!

Our music business grew this year and we have more teaching hours than last year.

So far everything is going fine with the pregnancy. I love it when Abby prays and thanks God for our baby. The other day she asked God point blank to please not let this baby die like baby Channah did.

Our dear friend Joanne passed away last night. Home in glory after a long and difficult battle with cancer. she leaves behind a husband, three young children, many family and friends and a legacy of music.

We had a great weekend with our church family to kick off the start of the church calendar. What a lot of fun! Green Eggs and Ham rules - gotta be a box!!!

That's all for now....

fresh flowers for September 10

Hidden Blessings
©2005, Lani Wiens
a fresh flowers original

I was talking with a friend yesterday about hidden blessings. If you’re like me you tend to focus on the not yet rather than on what is here and now. It’s somewhat depressing and should really be avoided. I chide my children on that point quite frequently, reminding them of what they have rather than what they don’t have. It would seem I need to preach that sermon to myself. So as my friend and I chatted about her own wilderness experience I encouraged her to embrace the possibilities, perhaps God had an unexpected blessing in store for her. After she left I sat down with myself to look back on our own journey to see where my hidden blessings were and are.

In the midst of the grief over the loss of our baby we found some blessings that were hidden and very unexpected. Every other year my husband’s family treks to Fairmont, BC for a holiday in November, this is the year for that trip. It is a wonderful time that the kids anticipate for months. My due date was in early December and with my medical maternity history going to Fairmont would have been very risky not to mention uncomfortable. The loss of the baby ensured my participation in that holiday, a bittersweet blessing but a blessing nonetheless. Another blessings was that as we dealt with our own grief through having a memorial service other lives were touched and healed in a way we could not have anticipated, the loss of our baby has given us a new avenue of empathy and ministry.

The moving experience is still locked on pause. We had anticipated a quick sale of our home. Obviously that hasn’t happened as we still sit here waiting. However, in the time of the waiting we’ve had time to make some improvements to our home. Our friends have had time to come back and do some work on their house that needed to be done that we were anticipating having to do ourselves, blessings for both of us on that front. As well, the price has come down which makes the move even more desirable for us. We’ve also learned many valuable lessons and found some treasured prayer partners as we’ve walked this path.

Every journey’s end really only means the beginning of another, different journey. Here are a few examples of friends and family who have completed one journey only to begin another. They are experiencing the blessings from the trip and now are going to learn even more lessons and experience new blessings.

My sister just finished the journey of pregnancy in her forties. She experienced many unexpected twists and turns on that road, most of them unpleasant. Now she holds her healthy, precious daughter in her arms and starts down the road of training, nurturing, post-partum adjustment and learning the wonder of this new life.

My friend just came through several years of single motherhood and being a widow. Now she starts the journey of married life again, but to someone completely different, adjustments in parenting and living space and the wonder of this new relationship.

My blogging friend has just taken a turn on her journey of a dream to create a country space for her family. The house is sold but where to go is a question. Now they will experience the thrill of tracking down the perfect property and changing it into the image of their dreams while experiencing the questions of how and where.

I have to remind myself daily to look for the good things, the wondrous things, the beautiful things that God puts in my path. Sometimes I miss them because I am too busy blubbering in my soup. God reminded me recently that most of my angst is tied up in my own attitude toward the situation. If I keep my eyes up, to the mountains, where my help comes from, I will see the blessings that God is leaving on my path like so many hidden treasures. Today I encourage you to go on a treasure hunt for hidden blessings. Something or someone is waiting to bless you today.

are you getting shinier?

This week has had so many ups and downs. My own personal emotional roller coaster could certainly win prizes at any fair ground. The only thing that is keeping me sane is the word of God and frequent naps.

From Psalm 34

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. (fears about houses, babies, children, schooling and finances are included in the word all). Those who look to him are radian; thier faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.

A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.

Did you catch that, the righteous man may have MANY troubles. I have not yet found a place in scripture that says we Christians get to have a rosy life without any trials in it. However, I find that God promises himself, his Holy Spirit and angels to walk with us through each and every difficulty. So what kind of gospel are we preaching? Do we tell people that their life will be fine once they have Jesus? The Bible doesn't say that. I think we expect that - Jesus, the magic wand waves his hand over our life and everything will go exactly the way WE want it too. Ooops, think there might be a problem there.

II Corinthians 4

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

The purpose behind all of this is glory that outshines the trouble. I'm thinking I may be getting shined up!

fresh flowers for September 2

Psalm 33
A psalm of David
Inspired by the Almighty
NOT a fresh flowers original


Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous;

It is fitting for the upright to praise him.

Praise the Lord with the harp;

Make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.

Sing to him a new song;

Play skilfully, and shout for joy.

For the word of the Lord is right and true;

He is faithful in all he does.

The Lord loves righteousness and justice;

The earth is full of his unfailing love.

By the word of the Lord were the heavens made,

Their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;

He puts the deep into storehouses.

Let all the earth fear the Lord;

Let all the people of the world revere him.

For he spoke, and it came to be;

He commanded, and it stood firm.

The Lord foils the plans of the nations;

He thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,

The purposes of his heart through all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,

The people he chose for his inheritance.

From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind;

From his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth –

He who forms the hearts of all,

Who considers everything they do.

No king is saved by the size of his army;

No warrior escapes by his great strength.

A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;

Despite all its great strength it cannot save.

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,

On those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

To deliver them from death

And keep them alive in famine.

We wait in hope for the Lord;

He is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,

For we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,

Even as we put our hope in you.

I don’t have anything more to add. The word of the Lord stands firm.

ANNOUNCEMENT

I have been remiss in announcing the arrival of my new niece:

Teresa Crystal
9 lbs 11 oz
born on August 30, 2005
sister to: Tami Lynn, Tonja, Terrell, and Tobia

Proud Mommy and Daddy are Herb and Donna (my sister)

She's so precious, we've all enjoyed holding her already and basking in her newness.

Shhhhh, I need to tell a little secret on my macho nine year old boy.

He didn't want to give her up to anyone else, he just wanted to sit and hold her. When we were leaving he asked if we could come back soon just so he could hold her some more. My heart swells with tears. He's such an awesome big brother. Man I love that boy. No question how helpful he'll be when #6 shows up. I love the wonder in his eyes.

journey mercies

This journey through the wilderness is hard. There's no nicer way to put it. Sometimes it downright stinks. However, at my lowest point, God brings some mercy, another companion to encourage me along the way. Someone to pray and say we'll make it through all this and it will be okay. To pray things that I don't have strength to pray anymore.

Thank you God for praying friends who hear your voice. Thank you for your mercy. Yesterday I took the day off from life in general and read a great book, lighthearted, yet filled with meaning. The underlying premise for the book was from Matthew 11 in the Message version:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace."

Lord, teach me the 'unforced rhythms of grace' how I love that phrase. It speaks to me taking things as they come without all the baggage that I take on my journey. I really need to learn that.

aahhh I think peace is finally at my door, excuse me, I must go let her in..............

fresh flowers for August 26

Brat Camp for Christians
©2005, Lani Wiens
a fresh flowers original

I watched a show on television this week that intrigued me. It was a reality TV show of a different nature. They took nine adolescents with varying problems such as; compulsive lying, drug abuse, violence, destructive behaviour and the like and put them in a wilderness camp setting with guides and mentors to help them get a handle of life and give them an opportunity to make changes. I saw the last two episodes of the show and was encouraged and amazed by what these kids accomplished. They were given many challenges that tested them to their limits. One of the things their mentors were looking for was the courage to work on the issues that they had been facing at home. It was really interesting to watch the light in their eyes and the edges of their faces as they faced their challenges and conquered their fears. It was beautiful.

There was one girl that they were very concerned about. She said the right things, did the right stuff but her heart and demeanour weren’t changing and it was obvioust. The guides and mentors were very concerned that she really hadn’t done the work she needed to in order to make the changes necessary. The last few minutes of the show was six months after their wilderness experience. For the majority of the kids the changes were lasting, they were working hard to keep the life they had been given out in the wilderness. Their futures were bright, their faces soft, their eyes aglow. Most were very thankful for their experience even though they were glad it was over. Except that one girl. She didn’t feel like she’d changed at all. Her parents were very discouraged and didn’t know what the future would hold for their daughter, they considered her experience in the wilderness a failure. Her hard lines never disappeared and the light in her eyes did not grow brighter.

God takes us and puts us into wilderness experiences all the time. The big difference is that you don’t have to be a delinquent to get that treatment, we’re all in for it at one time or another and probably more than once. His purpose is the same, to show us what’s in our hearts, to build character and to help us deal with issues that we have. The end result is supposed to be that we choose a better path as we come out of the wilderness having learned the lessons well. This young girl’s experience in the wilderness was a wake up call to me. She experienced the same things all the other kids did, took the same tests, was given the same opportunities to look at herself. She didn’t take the opportunity. She hardened her heart, she whined and complained more than any of the other kids, she refused to change and the result was that she didn’t reap the benefits.

My flowers to you today are to embrace what God is doing in your life right now. You may hate it because it’s cold, uncomfortable, it hurts and you’re not crazy about your travelling buddies. The fact is that as we embrace and grab hold of the opportunity before us our life will be changed forever, for the better. If we don’t give in to the whining and complaining, if we don’t harden our hearts, we will come out shining on the other side. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that there is another side, the landscape and the experience seems like it is going to go on forever (that’s where I am). But it won’t, there is an ending point to any trial. The last day of the wilderness experience came very unexpectedly for the participants at Brat Camp, they thought they were heading into another challenge – a hike through extremely cold and deteriorating weather. The guide took them one at a time and told them their next challenge before they started the hike was just over the hill. Bravely, one by one, they walked over the horizon willing to take on whatever scheme had been cooked up for them that day. But they were in for a surprise, on the other side of the hill were their families, waiting to embrace them, the journey was over. It was a very emotional time. But if they had refused the challenge, been unwilling to go where their guides had sent them, they wouldn’t have been going home.

There’s a song that we have been listening to that has helped us in our wilderness, part of it goes like this;

Just over the horizon
Passed the mountains of uncertainty
There is a better world awaiting me

Another bit goes:

…the danger will come if you wait……you’ve got to start walking in faith….

(from 4 Him – Face the Nation, Over the Horizon)

That’s the message today friends, just over the horizon this journey is over, the reward is just on the other side of the next hill. We’ll experience many a challenge in the wilderness of this life, they are meant to make us better. Hang in there, take the challenge the Lord is setting before you today, maybe it’s the one that leads you to the end of the journey. See ya on the other side…….

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to me!
I'm as pregnant as can be!
We're all very happy
God is so good to me!

So far it's been a lovely day. I got bacon, eggs, toast, orange juice and tea in bed this morning with all of my wonderful little blessings packed into our bedroom. My kids gave me chocolate, chips and a new journal and a beautiful card. My wonderful husband watched over the breakfast preparations and will be taking me out to my favorite Chinese restaurant (Genesis) for sizzling ginger beef, crab rangoon and cashew chicken - yummmmmmm. We found out this morning that we're expecting another miracle. I'm letting the kids watch movies so I can do whatever I want - hee hee! Yup looks like a good day to me - quilting, scrapbooking perhaps, napping! The thing that would top it off would be to have our house sell today! Sparrow has already wished that for me! our last house sold on Kelly's birthday, maybe the Lord will smile even more on me today.

Tons of comments would make the day great, too!!!!!

bits and pieces

There are so many things going on in my head, I need to get them out. Don't think much of these things are related to each other but at least they can stop ramming around in my head.

bit 1
Earlier this summer we got to participate in three very unique marriage experiences. One was a spiritual marriage, helping to reconcile the differences between French and English Canada. One was a traditional marriage ceremony for our friends. And the third was a renewal of marriage vows at a 25th wedding anniversary celebration. I think there's something significant in that but haven't quite figured out what exactly...

bit 2

We started home schooling yesterday. It was very fun. We got this new artbox thing and the kids couldn't wait to try it out but I told them it was for school and we couldn't use it until then. "Well, let's start Monday morning!" they said. So we did. I've so enjoyed watching them (the oldest three particularly) gel over this summer. There has been a lot of playing together that's gone on (lots of fighting, too). Bionicles and skateboards and rainy days have been a big part of that. Sleep-overs in each other's rooms. It's just been really good.

bit 3

We had an open house on Sunday afternoon. 10 couples came through and 5 of them said they wouldn't buy our house because of the painting that would have to be done. I think they were mostly referring to our kids bedrooms that are all done in mural/themes - Abby's is pink with butterflies, hearts, floors a tree and a lion painted on the wall. Christopher is underwater complete with a boat bottom on the ceiling and an underwater diver. Josiah has a desert race with a huge cactus, a gila monster, scorion and hot wheel cars painted in great detail. They love their rooms. Many people helped to complete that labor of love and the idea of painting over them for some would-be buyer to make them happy makes me cry. When I told the kids that might be what we have to do the looks on their faces broke my heart. I don't think I can do it unless there is a done deal on the table it will just take too much out of me....it would be a huge step of faith or a huge step of presumption to do it. So for now, I won't. Another friend painted the Prairie Fire Music logo on the wall of my office as you come in the front door. It's a work of art, she did such a good job, we think we can just pop the whole piece of drywall off and save it. Frame it and hang it in Kelly's office.

bit 4

CWG and his wife are some of the best relationship keepers I know. They are truly amazing people. i'm guessing that there are alot of us who would call them friends. I've been thinking a lot about relationships and how much I've had to learn to get to where I am in the relationships I have managed to keep alive. It definately takes two way trying to keep relationship alive. We were counselling a dear soul last night on this fact. It is worth it to try again, to risk the hurt to put a relationship back together. if not for your own sake, or for the sake of the other person but definately for the sake of the kingdom of God. When we let our hurt and pain stop us from bridging the gaps we keep ourselves and the other person in prison. We lose, the other person loses and the enemy wins. We'll be held accountable by God as to why we didn't try again. In my own experience it is worth it, it may take years to fix it, but it IS worth it.

bit 5

I think we're gonna fire our real estate agent, or at least not renew the contract. I think we're gonna try to do it ourselves again. Does anyone know anyone who wants to buy a house, not just any house but ours in particular? Pray friends, pray. I would like to move!

bit 6

I'm making myself a birthday cake, it's tomorrow, butter pecan! yummmm tonite my mom and I are getting together to watch Canadian idol and quilt. Our other Tuesday night friends are in Regina and Calgary this week. So she's buying treats and we're hanging out.

bit 7

In reading many wonderful blogs (Moose, Holy Experience, Intent, Sonya's and a few others) God helped me see that He is enough once again. He's in control, he's got it together, and He wants to remind me that He loves me on a continual basis. Sometimes I forget and the peace of Christ is NOT ruling in my heart. It's up to me to come and taste and drink and have my fill, it's all there, waiting for me (and you).


I think that's all for now, got alot of quilting to do.

more on routines

After my discovery that I WILL have to make a schedule and stick to it (not just a loose collection of thoughts in my head) I hauled out my homeschooling 'helpful' books and started to ponder how to keep it all together. I came across these thoughts and thought I would share them with you, my fellow routine-challenged friends. (Well, maybe not all of you are routine-challenged as I am, maybe I'm ADD or some other label that accounts for my desire to not get locked into the same thing over and over and over and over and over..............)

from "Educating the Wholehearted Child" by Clay and Sally Clarkson

The Invisible Energy of Routine

In the same way that there are universal laws that govern your home universe, there are also invisible powers in that universe that hold everything together. In the physical world, subatomic powers keep everything from flying apart (actually, God does, but you get the picture). In the home universe, the invisible power that keeps everything from flying apart is called routine.

Routine is simply a habitual pattern of living created by effort applied regulalry over time. Once a pattern of living is established in your lifestyle and schedule, it becomes an invisible, self-generating force to hold part of your home universe together. The more you harness the power of rountines, the more energy you will generate to apply to other areas of your home. However, if ignored, routine energy rapidly dissipates, and the elements within the home universe begin to disintegrate at rapidly increasing rates of decay. When that happens, even greater amounts of time and effort are needed to regain stability.

The laws of routine are well-established:

• The Law of Routine - For every action taken to establish routine, there is an equal and similar reaction generating greater amounts of routine energy.
• The Converse of the Law of Routine - For every action not taken to establish routing, there is a corresponding decrease in total home routine energy.

All that to say that it takes a lot less energy to live with established routines than it does to live without them. If your children see you establishing routines in your own life (devotions, exercise, house clean up), they will be more likely to imitate you example in their own. And remember, you are the one who will create the routines for them (Bible reading, home0school assignments, cleaning up room).

fresh flowers for August 19

Dirty Work
©2005, Lani Wiens
a fresh flowers original

This week has been spent cleaning out little used places. Getting into dark and ugly corners to free cobwebs and the like. I am beginning to see that this house adventure we are STILL on is God’s way of cleaning out my dark and dirty corners. Seeing how much I will walk by faith and not by sight. Will I trust Him and believe what I think He’s said. Will I trust my husband and his leadership through all of this? Will I trust that the real estate agent is really and truly doing her job? Will I trust my friends that are holding the house for us? Will I believe that God is not slow in keeping his promises as some consider slowness? Will I continue to believe that God really does have my best in mind and will bring me to the place that He desires for me to be? Will I believe that all of these twists and turns that require perseverance, patience and endurance are really earning me an eternal reward, will there really be glory at the end of this road of suffering?

One thing I know for sure is that God isn’t going to miss even one dark corner in my life. He will make very sure that all the nasty things that need to get cleaned up are dealt with. He knows that leaving even one little bit of that old nature of mine will ruin my spiritual house’s atmosphere. Let me illustrate with a yucky little story.

As I was cleaning in my basement I smelled a horrid smell. I thought something go into my vacuum cleaner and I was getting the odour through the exhaust. I turned the vacuum off, the odour was still there. A pernicious, nasty smell that can only be one thing – dog poop. I went searching. Sure enough there on the playroom floor was a tiny piece of doggie doo-doo. How could such a little bit be so offensive? It stunk up the entire basement. I flushed it down the toilet and lo there was much better air quality in my basement.

Leaving a little tiny bit of bitterness, rage, mistrust or unbelief in my heart will stink up my life. Its smell will permeate everything I do and make it offensive – counterproductive to the kingdom of God. So I humbly submit myself to God’s dirty work in my life. I want him to find each and every area where I am offensive to Him and do away with it. I want my life to have a pleasing aroma to every one who crosses my path. I know He’ll finish the job because Philippians says that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. I think I have a few more corners to liberate…

icky schedules

Last night I started sorting through the details of Christopher's program from Hope Center, my homeschooling thoughts and household needs. I realized the painful truth. I am going to have to create a written schedule and stick to it. Ick. I don't like to actually write down schedules. I have a loose routine in my head that guides my week, but it isn't written down. Once I write something like that down I feel like I'm in jail. If I have to change it or modify I feel like a failure. I'm a pretty organized person, administratively gifted but I get bored easily whenever things look to much the same for too long. But to get everything done that needs to be done - I'm gonna have to bite the bullet, there's just no way around it. And then there will be the discipline required to make it happen - gonna have to bite that bullet, too.

Then if the move happens, which I'm still hoping and believing it will, well that will make everything even more interesting now won't it. Lord help me, I'm gonna need it.

more house adventure lessons

Now we know we only have two choices left: wait indefinately for someone to buy our house, or get off the path and stay where we are. We have learned yet another valuable lesson in the last week. This one being more my husband's revelation than mine, however, I wholeheartedly agree with it.

Once we get an idea, a vision or whatever you want to call it, we have a nasty predisposition to live in and for that vision. Unfortunately when we do this the hear and now stuff suffers. We tend to lose our focus, so keen are we on what the possibilites are before us. The bottom line in this household is that we are being obedient to Christ and that our family is okay. In light of that we decided that we need to concentrate on our present dwelling rather than on the one that may or may not come into our posession. Doing what needs to be done here; fixing the deck, painting the garage and playhouse, hauling junk away, etc. will benefit us regardless of whether we move or not. So we concentrate back on what we're supposed to do, be good stewards of what we have. Make sure our kids aren't getting neglected in the pursuit of the maybe.

Those are the lessons for today. Stay tuned for the up and coming news from the Wiens tribe.

flower delivery for August 12

Bossy Mama
©2005, Lani Wiens
a fresh flowers original

Every once in awhile my #2 son decides that I’m too bossy and lets me hear about it. Usually it’s because he doesn’t want to do whatever it is that he is supposed to do. If his older brother or younger sister tell him what to do too many times he calls them bossy as well. At times I’ll come to his defence and agree that they are indeed being too bossy and they need to back off. However, when he tells me I’m being bossy I inform him that it’s part of my job description and he’ll just have to deal with it.

The other day he was really in a snit and this explanation didn’t sit well with him. Especially when his sister got to being bossy and I told her to back off. The question finally came, “Why is it okay for you to be bossy and not okay for us to be bossy?” Why indeed!? Answer: What is authority?

As a parent God has given me a mandate to train my children, to educate them, to love them, to protect them, disciple them, discipline them and sometimes that looks like ‘bossy’. It’s a big responsibility. Because of that responsibility it puts me in a position to make decisions on their behalf. No you can’t play with razor blades. Yes, you can clean up your room before you play on the computer. He’s put me in a place of authority over them. Along with authority comes responsibility.

So why isn’t it okay for them to boss each other around? At this point in time they do not have responsibility for one another other than what we give them. For example, if oldest was old enough to babysit the younger ones we would give him the authority to tell them what they can eat and what they can’t, when they’ll go to bed and to break up fights. They are responsible for keeping their rooms clean and therefore we give them authority to send out anyone whom they deem to be making a mess. However, in the day to day running of the household and life in general they don’t have the responsibility and authority to tell each other what they can or cannot do. They can, however, remind each other of what we as parents deem acceptable behaviour and conduct so long as they do it in a kind and gentle way for the good of the other person. (yeah, yeah, you can snort all you want, it doesn’t happen that way here either)

As an adult we place ourselves in the same position as we allow (sometimes whether we like it or not) others to have authority in our lives. The bank, for example, has authority to say whether or not we can pursue certain avenues even though we don’t like it we are subject to them. I had to catch myself this week as I was told by someone who had authority to say so that we couldn’t do what we were proposing to do. As an adult I can take a step back (after having a little pity party) and realize that the bank, my pastor or _________(fill in the blank) has my best interest at heart and doesn’t want me in a place that will jeopardize my future well-being. They will carry the responsibility of those decisions and therefore have authority to say yes or no to the proposal. Thinking this through in this way has helped me to put the decisions of those in authority into proper perspective, however, like my children, I still sometimes give in to a pout now and then.

house update

Well the bank called today, there was good news and bad news. The good news is that we managed to write a really good business plan. The bad news is that there is no way we'll get approved to have two mortgages and keep this house as a rental property. Which is fine, really. God has helped me get very dead to how this whole thing turns out - very surprising. I'm not worried anymore, just waiting. I'd still like to know what the whole of Plan A is. Was this just a big test to see if we'd be obedient? Is it a test for Sam and Vi (our friends who own the house)? I guess I could answer yes to both those questions cause they're pretty much a given.

So we're down to two options. Stay put or wait for the house to sell. Perhaps a really good offer will come on Sam and Vi's house and that will put an end to the whole thing. Or we'll get a good offer on our house, that, too would put an end to all of this. Either way, I'm good. Good to go, good to stay. This house is enough for now. That house has some great features that I'd love to have.

The only thing is now I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. Do I pack? Do I do more painting over there? How much of myself do I invest into that property before its really mine? What is faith and what is stupidity?

On another note, had tea with my pastor and his wife today. They're wonderful people and I really like them. Just want everyone to know.

Have you every wondered what your life would be like if you were a cheerleader? Cheering would be your job. You'd travel around and cheer....

No more anonymous comments will be allowed on this blog, sorry. Got some weird ones posting on the post below this, fortunately they aren't porn sites or anything, just ads, but still, our dear friend over at The Inner Room wasn't so fortunate. Be careful out there...

Random Thoughts

These are purely random thoughts for the perusal of one and all, particularly for 'the blogless one' who likes to have fresh meat every day. She actually has her own site now *gasp* so technically she isn't the blogless one anymore, however, to comment you have to have an MSN password - so if everyone gets those, the MSN network may actually pick up and there would be some point in having one....ahem......

God has blessed me with some great blogs to read lately. Most of them seem to be moms with lots of kids who homeschool, but not all of them. Holy Experience is seriously worth the read, Ann has an annointed gift for expressing her heart to God and cutting through alot of junk. Really good stuff. Sparrow at Intent is an excellent source of daily thoughts that make you think - actually she isn't always daily at the moment, but often enough. She's fabulous - a thinker - actually, read this post, got me thinking about a lot of things.

Ron's message on Sunday - I love it, I think he should have a daily service where you can call in and get your daily dose of how to live the Christian life. Perhaps you could choose your message depending on your mood for the day:

• Choice 1: Embrace the road of suffering dear friend, there is glory in the end. (compassionate and caring)
• Choice 2: These light and momentary troubles are achieving for you a glory that far outweighs them all (scripture)
• Choice 3: DIE (for those who like it nice and clear)

Revelations

The blogless one was quite right when she said that all she ever needed to know she learned while buying and selling houses. The last few days have been ones of great stretching and learning. Every day seems to bring some new element to the adventure. Great friends of ours shared a faith journey story with us the other night about a fellow who wasn't getting any clear direction on any of the three choices afforded him. They told us how God established him and blessed him and he didn't know until much later that (fresh bread break) care and provision of the Lord. It came down to trusting that God had given him enough light for the moment.

God has settled my heart tremendously. He hasn't made it one bit clearer about selling or renting this place. All we know is that we can work on the plans and paper that the bank asked us for. We can continue to prepare the new place for occupancy and we can start packing things up here. Once I let go have having to know the big picture I was suddenly at rest. Please don't laugh at me none of you realize how big of a control/gotta know the details kind of freak I can be at times. This has been so hard. There have been many tears and prayer along the way.

A dear brother has been feeding us a wonderful meal from the scripture lately, reminding us to embrace the road of suffering because it leads to glory. I don't know what glory God will get from all of this but I do know that it is producing something stronger in me than there has been before. He has carried us through all kinds of strange and wonderful (and painful) adventures before, He can carry us through this, too. I must remind myself that if He can handle Genesis 1, He can certainly take care of this bit.

I want to encourage you to go and read over at Holy Experience. This lady is such an encouragement, speaks to my writer's soul and touches heaven, too. God is leading me to such wonderful, uplifting blogs lately, I am so glad for this venue.