Pleasing God

©2005, Lani Wiens
a fresh flowers original

In many ways I am a people-pleaser. I haven’t always been that way but over the last number of years it would seem that this is where I’ve ended up. I’ve never wanted to be that. I was one of those people in high school who went against the grain, who tended to be one step out from the crowd. Not because I was nerdy, just because I seemed to experience some things sooner or in a different way than everyone else. I got into a little rebellious piece for about 6 months, decided that what I was doing was stupid and stopped – that was it. I spoke my mind, was a good leader, didn’t compromise my stand. On the other hand, my desire to belong and be part of a group was strong, too. One dear friend told me about 14 years ago that he saw me as a chameleon, constantly changing, trying to fit in to the surroundings. That isn’t always a bad thing – but it can sure cause discontent in your spirit. My longing is to be settled in my identity that Jesus has spoken into my heart.

So here I am as a mom, working at home, training my children and doing what needs to be done each day. Being a mom is hard work no matter how many children you have. You learn quickly after that blessed babe is conceived that your life is no longer your own. I love being a mom, even though at times I’d like to Fed Ex the lot of them around the corner to someone else’s house. The amazing man I’m married to is programmed for ministry, it’s in his heart, his mind and in his DNA. He loves to worship, pray, counsel, he loves to get intimate with His Lord, he loves to help others do the same. He’s a great husband and dad. Sometimes I watch what he does each day and feel like the little brown mouse by the door. Is what I do as ‘important’ as what he does? At this point in my life the door to ‘outside my walls’ ministry is very tiny. My people-pleasing nature wants to jump up and help every single plea for workers that arises. In speaking with my pastor’s wife, whose life obviously revolves around ministry and who also happens to have 5 kids I was reminded that my most important ministry is these 5 kids and my husband. I am okay, even if I say no to many other glorious opportunities. There will be more opportunities along the way that take me out of my walls, but there are plenty of opportunities that are right here inside them.

Wherever you are at today in your struggle for identity and belonging, know this. Jesus loves you right where you are. All He wants is your love and obedience. If what He is calling you to do today doesn’t look that fascinating, know that He sees where it will complete the picture as part of this great puzzle called LIFE. I wrote a song about this struggle, and while you can’t ‘hear’ it, I pray that it will ring in your heart….

The Least of These
©2005, Lani Wiens

I’m pursuing God, is He here?
Among 10 scraped knees,
A floor full of debris?
Is He here
While I clean up crumbs
And change dirty bums?
Is He here
When I’m scrubbing out the tub
And hosing off the mud?

My mountain tops are far apart
But passion burns within my heart
To see your face
Look in your eyes
Feel your arms
I long to fly
Above the normal things that are each day
The mundane stuff gets in my way
You said you would walk with me
Even here
Even now
Among 10 scraped knees
A floor full of debris
While I clean up crumbs
And change dirty bums
I am shaping history
For the very least of these
May someday be the one
That will bring many to the Son
Thank you for this ministry
There’s glory here in my four walls
While I’m on my knees
Pursuing You
I will pick up after the least of these…