As my contribution to Amy's Vox Apologia III (Amy's Humble Musings) I can't get past a few things that I see every day. My own sweet children. Every time someone finds out that I have 5 children they snort and wheeze and pound their chests as if I may be the carrier of some horrible infection. How could I possibly WANT that many children? What a horrible burden! You poor dear (as if I was suffering from a terminal illness). Or my favorite, "I couldn't do that, I'm just to selfish" as if that makes a good justification!
One of my babes came to us through the social services system, for a time in our lives we were foster parents and had several children come through our doors. Two didn't leave. Brendan passed away in our home. He was severally disabled and most people would have thought that he wasn't much good for anything. They never saw him smile. Christopher lives with us and always will. We hope that we can sort out the red tape and get him adopted one day. Christopher has some behavioural problems that most 'normal' homes would not care to deal with. We don't particularly enjoy dealing with them either but he is our son. Every once in awhile some one implies that we could give him back - get rid of him so to speak. Then voila, problem sovled!! But for whom? We aren't heroes. We're an ordinary family who gets mad at each other sometimes. We have to apologize and we have to forgive. What would sending away this one do to him and to the others kids? What would that do to the security that is necessary in the heart of a child? Why is he more dispensible than our other children? Because he's already been rejected and abandoned more than once? Does that make you of less value than someone else? The reason that we have Christopher at all is that no one else wanted him. Social services couldn't find a single relative anywhere that was willing to take permanent custody of the boy. We win!!
We win because Christopher is compassionate.
We win because Christopher has a strong sense of justice.
We win because Christopher completes our family in a way no one else could.
We win because we have had to address the deep anger issues that every parent has but doesn't want to deal with or admit to having.
We win because having Christopher in our family makes us more sensitive to other 'problem' children.
We win because grace is being grown in our family.
We win because Christopher has the sweetest smile and brightest eyes.
We win because we are seeing Christopher learn to control his emotions.
We win because God is teaching us patience, growing His character in us because of the perseverance needed to tackle these issues.
We win because Christopher loves us and we love him.
We win because God chose Christopher for our family.
We win because Christopher likes to make eggs in the morning so mommy doesn't have to cook and enjoys washing dishes!!
If we chose to abandon Christopher there is no question that he would become another non-success statistic in our country. He is an orphan, abandoned, rejected, the least of these.
And he is ours.
PS - We had an incident like the 'Tracey' story in our community. Robert Latimer chose to asphyxiate his very disabled daughter so that she wouldn't have to 'suffer' anymore. He was convicted of murder (her name was Tracey, too). Pray that this husband's heart would be changed. God can still do wonders.