I wonder if any of it will come to pass because I am my own worst enemy. However, a dear intercessor/mentor/friend/spiritual mama prayed over it and she is excited about what God is going to do and she told me the order in which she is going to pray for these things to come to pass. It makes a difference when someone is standing with you. And then several of you dear readers have told me that you think maybe I'm a little crazy but you're going to support me anyway.
And so I will go dream-chasing...
I strive for order and balance and perfection and fall way short on all of it, because, after all, life is a wee bit messy out here on the farm with six kids running around, home school stuff, farming, pastor-ing, music lessons, livestock and the dogs howling at the moon. There doesn't seem to be space for dreaming and balance.
I read recently about balance. How this striving for balance may just be a bit of a lie that we've bought in to. Because if you're going to go after something, there will a season that most likely won't be very balanced.
Like training for a marathon, or giving birth, or doing NaNoWriMo or harvesting your crop. There are seasons where you have to push through and just do it NOW, because it is time.
And then there is time, like Holley Gerth says in her recent POST, to just do the next thing.
That is sometimes the hardest thing to do, because it brings us one step closer to completion and sometimes that's the scariest part.
the what-ifs set in:
- what if I write this book and no one wants to publish it, or even read it?
- what if I go to the trouble of recording this CD and no one wants to listen to it?
- what if I lose all this weight and then I don't have the money to buy new clothes?
- what if I finish building this chicken coop...I will have to buy chickens and tend to them?
There is responsibility that comes with finishing a project. Like the chickens, there may be success to deal with, we may have eggs to sell, which requires washing, candling and handling and marketing.
If I finish recording that CD and people love it then I may have to do tours and concerts and sign contracts.
Sometimes the fear of success can be more debilitating than than the fear of failure.
So then what?
You do the next thing.
You keep moving forward.
Because someone wisely wrote that perhaps we need to define success by our willingness to obediently follow God's call on our lives and not worry about the results of that obedience.
Someone will probably not like it that you obeyed.
That is not your problem.
Moving forward through the seasons of just do the next thing and the press through it and get it done are what it will take to see your dream through.
Dream we must.
Move forward we must.
Start dreaming if you haven't yet
and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!
update on my dream state:
My husband gave me motivation to get our farm accounting up to date. Once all that is caught up it should release some funds that the government currently owes us. He said that we could go on a holiday (#14), just the two of us, if we could get all that accounting caught up by the end of January. I finished June today!!