Princess Peanut turns 4

My little peanut turned 4 a few days ago. It seems that she was born yesterday and at the same time I cannot imagine the world without her. Three months before she was conceived I had had a miscarriage and was quite devasted by it. After the death of that child I felt like God whispered to my spirit that I would be pregnant again in three months. Prior to all of this we had seriously thought we were done having kids but God just wouldn't let us do anything permanent about it. Because of that unsettledness we knew that whatever happened next was in God's hands.

My birthday was about three months after that miscarriage and it just happened to be my birthday, I was a little late but didn't think much of it yet, I'd been a little late before. However, my husband, full of faith, bought me a pregnancy test for my birthday. It was positive! What a wonderful birthday surprise. Thus began my most difficult pregnancy. Food refused to stay in my body going in one end and out the other at a surprisingly rapid pace. The one time in your life where you want to gain weight and I wasn't! In the middle of all that we were closing a VERY long deal on our house and moving into a new one. Add on to that we were anticipating surgery on Sam's heart, which happened to coincide with the move-in date. I was just a wee bit stressed.

On Wednesday, I'd had a doctor's visit and he proclaimed all was well though the baby was a little small, I still had another 5 weeks to go. Sunday, I didn't feel too well and opted to stay home from church while Kelly and the kids went, he had to go since he was preaching that day. I'd had this 'feeling' before and told that baby that it could not come until after daddy was done preaching. He came home without any kids in tow having farmed them all out to friend's houses for the day. We had a lovely quiet lunch and had decided to go visit our friends who had just had their baby on Friday. It was somewhere in the midst of that lunch that contractions began.

They were continuing at a fairly even pace so we figured we'd continue with our plan, head to the hospital, check it out and if all was well, go visit OR have a baby, whichever came first. When we got there, sure enough I was in labour. It wasn't moving along that fast and at about 5:30 or so the contractions stopped so we figured we could go home, but we had to wait for the doctor to give me the okay. She took a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOng time coming, long enough for things to start again a little more intensely! We found out later that what took her so long was another baby from our church that she was delivering!
So off to labour and delivery we went. It was so strange to have labour go on for so long - 12 hours was a record! (the longest being 4.5 hours) Little did we know that our families were extremely worried since it had never taken this long before. Elizabeth was born at about 1 AM, with the neo-natal doctors standing at the ready since she was 5 weeks early. We got to hold her for about and hour before they whisked her away due to blood sugar issues, irregular heart beat and low body temp. We stayed in the hospital for about a week to make sure everything was good and then headed home. What a blessing this sweet little girl has been to our home.
Elizabeth loves to dance and sing and play. Her name means promise of God, and that's what she is. Happy birthday princess peanut, we love you so very much!

New Motherhood

Yup, I finally decided it was time to write another bit wit and wisdom on here and I am completely blank as I stare at the screen. I've been thinking about this role of motherhood alot lately. My baby is turning 4 in another week and my eldest is taller than me and stronger than me and will soon be heavier than me. He scares me just a little. He's a teenager and I'm caught in the grand dichotomy of motherhood - parenting with authority and moving to the side to let him grow. It is extremely difficult to know which place to be in at any given moment. Such a man/child he is. One moment helping his dad move huge sheets of plywood and drywall in for a renovation project - telling his dad exactly which way to move the boards so they can get around the tight corner and the next moment lying on the floor playing Lego with his brothers.

He is one of those boys that all the girls like and want attention from. Not too sure how to parent that either. I was not one of the popular kids and neither were my siblings, I don't know how to do this thing anymore. Where does that leave me? Begging for wisdom from the One who knows the answers to these problems. And he gives it. Thank the good Lord for that.

To new things...hopefully some joy....

Happy New Year!!

I am cold.

The wind is blowing very hard in a blizzardy type way.

Did I mention that I am cold?

Hoping new things for a new year...

New attitudes.

New thoughts.

New ways of being.

Hoping to leave behind.

Old attitudes.

Old thoughts.

Old ways of being.

Looking for JOY. This word has been pursing me and I need to know why. On pillows, book jackets, inside cards, even on the television at the dentist's office...probably a dozen times or more this word has been in my face. I need to know what it really means. Joy. Not the 'happy is on the outside, Joy is on the inside' definition, something bigger, more profound, more real and touchable and seeable. I need a definition that works itself out.

Today's date is 01/01/2010. That seems very beginning-ish doesn't it. So here we are at the beginning of something new. Have a great year.

I am still cold.

Possibly colder than when I started writing...

I think I'll find my bed and the personal heater it contains :)

nighty night

Christmas thanks (730)

"It's Christmas, a time to praise the Lord,

a time to lift our hearts in worship,

Saviour to adore..."

That's a line from the finale of the Christmas musical we performed last night. It was really a family affair for us this year. All of my kids were involved in the production (acting, dancing, singing and props), Kelly was on the keyboard and technology stuff and I was co-directing with my good friend/cousin-in-law. The whole thing went so well I was just thrilled.

This Christmas has felt different for me somehow. Not so stressful. Part of that has been that we started our Christmas shopping way early which helped cut down on the shopping panic. As well, I've been trying to 'shop'n'pray' - Keeping things simple and not necessarily making or buying something because I feel obligated to but because the Lord has moved my heart to do so...I'm finding way more joy in that process and none of the making or purchasing has felt like a burden in any way.

I've been trying to keep Jesus the centre of my focus which isn't always easy to do when you're running to practices and trying to get things done. When you add family stresses to that - things that are, unfortunately, common to our household and a little sickness, things can weigh you down pretty quickly. But God has been faithful to me through this stressful time and I am so grateful. I realized I haven't been adding to my thankful list for awhile, so I think it's time to do so again.

717. I am so thankful for friends who call at the last minute to say, "I was thinking of setting up the dessert tables for the program with tablecloths, red napkins and poinsettias, would that be okay with you?" Would it? Of course it would, what a blessing to have a pretty table. Thank you Linda.

718. I asked one of our church ladies to bake a birthday cake for Jesus for the end of the program, she completely outdid herself and made not only a delicious and beautiful cake but one rich with meaning as well. Thank you Mary.

719. I'm so thankful for our church family and how they chip in and get done what needs to be done.

720. Thankful for all the people who showed up in -30 degree weather to cheer the kids on.
721. Thankful for all the kids and youth who did such a great job of singing, dancing, acting and getting things ready.
722. Thankful for the musicians, not only for their skill and ability but that they recognized when it might be better to use the soundtrack on a couple of the more difficult songs.
723. Thankful for the support people, sound, costumes, dressers, and all of that.
724. I'm thankful my sister-in-law went ahead and bought tickets for the Steve Bell concert on Saturday night even though it was crazy to go. He played with the Saskatoon Symphony and it was beyond amazing - an incredible, unforgettable experience. I LOVED IT.
725. Thankful for friends of my kids who are excited to see them this coming weekend.
726. I am grateful for the skill the Lord has given me to make bread. There is no better scent on a cold wintry day than fresh bread right out of the oven.
727. I'm thankful for the generous gift from one of our congregation that allowed us to purchase a family game that we've been thinking about for over a year but was out of our budget.
728. Thankful for the beauty of Christmas, the internals and externals. I LOVE sitting and looking at my pretty tree in the dark of the evening after the kids are in bed.
729. I'm particularly thankful that we have a reason to celebrate the season, it isn't just about money and gifts but has a deeper, richer meaning that commercialism can't erase.
730. Today I'm thankful to be able to sit here in the sunshine and be thankful...

tornado warning

I've never actually been in a tornado, but I think I have an inkling of what it might be like. Every once in awhile a tornado in the form of my son rips through our house leaving devestation in its wake. Broken things, hurt emotions, frayed nerves. How do people survive who live in 'tornado alley'? Why do they stay there when they could move? Why do we stay here for that matter and endure harsh winters and drought filled summers? Because it is home.

In spite of the possibility of being devestated by the weather we remain because we can't imagine living elsewhere. It is the same with our son. We will continue to work these difficulties out day by day, moment by moment because one day, the weather patterns might just change.

In the meantime we'll clean up the broken glass and search out how to mend the bent emotions and work toward reconciliations and healing. Life is just so messy.

slowing down (716)

"Slow down mom, you're going too fast."

This from my daughter while I'm reading Ann's post about that very thing. I am almost always too impatient, wanting things to happen. Not wanting to take the time for things to come to me. Wanting for everything to fall into place the first time. And in my hurry I rush towards anxiety, fear and disaster. Help me slow down, Lord, help me wait a little, learn to trust a little more. So often I have short-circuited the blessing you intended by taking matters into my own hands. Today, this moment, help me to trust you and to be thankful that you are working on my behalf, arranging things better than I can, today, help me walk a little slower so that these young ones who are trying to follow can see where I am going...

Let my gratitude to you slow me down a little...

691. the majority of the harvest is in, just one little slough of canola (after the wind these last two days, we may not have to worry about it, it may have blown away)

692. everyone working together to collect bales for the first time

693. repentance and remorse after one brother unintentionally hurts another
694. forgiveness offered and love extended
695. being mom of a winning team member who feels like he contributed something to the team
696. four walls around me as the bitter winds whips around the corners of the house
697. the sweet cacophony of kids testing out their skills on instruments
698. the joy bubbles breaking on faces of father and son as they both realize that this little boy has natural rhythm
699. "band" practice in the living room, all flying sticks, trombone, keyboards and smiles
700. the face of my husband, back in the family circle after a long harvest season
701. a day without tension between my behaviourly challenged son and myself
702. truth from God's word reminding me that he is WAY bigger than the issues we face
703. fruit developing in the kids we try to make a difference with
704. changed lives
705. community that supports and helps in difficult times
706. the Canadian health care system that means we aren't forking money out every time we show up at the health centre with another emergency
707. the taste of sun-ripened tomatoes fresh from my garden
708. the anticipation of salsa making with my good friend
709. piling on more quilts to stay warm as the weather turns colder
710. finding something that inspires my ADD son to do schoolwork without being nagged
711. the anticipation of going away for a few days with my sweetheart to retreat with other pastors and ministers of the gospel, enjoying each other's company, good food, games and rest
712. a perfectly brewed cup of tea on a cold day
713. hope is rising

714. the discovery of egg rings - maybe not huge, but it shows me somedays that these kids are actually observing the world around them

715. first attempts at sewing

716. the little package I got for my birthday that turned into this....

more grace (690)

I am officially tired of harvest. My husband puts in ridiculously long hours. There are days when we don't even see him except for the indent in the bed, so I know he splept at some point. We are nearing the finishing line and I'll be doing a happy dance when we do!



I know I shouldn't complain there are tons of single moms out there doing this ALL the time, I pray that God will give you much grace for the race, I don't think I'd be very good at this full time. I'm sure my kids think I've turned into the wicked witch of the west - but that's what lack of sleep and constant demands will do to you. I've been plagued with headaches for the last week so that hasn't exactly contributed to a happy mommy either. I'm thinking I should quit griping and find some things to be thankful about...

678. Harvest is actually going pretty well.
679. We have had really good harvest weather.
680. Found the sweetest little skirt for my princess at Value Village.
681. Homeschooling is going pretty well so far, even though I still don't really have lesson plans, etc. figured out.
682. There are huge trucks coming to pick up our lentils today - hopefully that will take the edge off of our financial squeeziness.
683. I am thankful for Advil, doesn't take the headache out completely, but it does take the edge off it.
684. Last Saturday my kids worked really hard with very little nagging, because of that my garage is clean, I had no idea that my eldest could work that long and consistently on something that he would normally hate doing.
685. I got some fabric in the mail, it took awhile but it finally came.
686. I danced in the kitchen with my boys, how often does a mom get to do that!!
687. My son sat me down and insisted I learn to play their new LOTR game online, he's a pretty good teacher.
688. I have a wonderful hard-working husband who farms with integrity and loves me completely and pastors with passion. How I love him.
689. The writer's group didn't tell me my writing sucks...they actually liked it.

The Joy of Giving

Mmmm, just had to write something today, it's been too long for someone who loves playing with words, juggling, casting, auditioning. Words are such a powerful too to convey so much. Think about what we use words for, we convey every emotion, spill out our thoughts, teach.

Words, what a lovely gift the Lord gave us. (677)

The other day my daughter and I got a little giddy! We started going through the school supplies I purchased this year, after we sent the public school kids off there was still a pretty good pile. We took out what we figured we'd need for our homeschool efforts and still had a few things that were extras. The pile was intriguing, we knew we didn't really need it.

So we started filling a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child. Pencil crayons, wax crayons, a pair of scissors.

"Oh, she'll need paper, we have lots of that!"
"Yes, yes, some lined, some plain."
"What about glue sticks, we have lots of those."
"Certainly, and go find some colored cardstock."
"What about this little purse, it could go in, couldn't it?"
"I'll get some fabric."
"Oh, then needles and thread are a must."
"Embroidery thread!! Lots of colours!"
"I think I'd like to get this box!"
"Me, too! What else can we put in?"
"Candy! Do we have any?"
"Not at home, we'll have to get some at the store, there's still room in here. More fabric?"
"Can I decorate the top of the box?"
"I'll print out the label."

We had so much fun. I was supposed to be working on something else but the joy of giving grabbed us and wouldn't let go. What a wonderful way to spend an hour, doing something for someone we don't know, who has little to nothing. We imagined where the box might go. A refugee camp in Tanzania? A poor neighborhood in South America? We imagined the delighted look on some young girl's face as she discovered the treasures we put in the box, things we love to do going to someone else. We blessed the box to go to someone for whom these treasures would mean the world. Maybe they'd be able to sew a little and sell the items for food. We don't know, but we were dripping with joy.

Perhaps we'll get the chance to make more boxes this year. I'm hoping for six, one for each of our children. It isn't much really. May I encourage to be a giver, if you're searching for joy you will surely find it there!

School Started? (676)

I think 'school' may have started today in my house. I wasn't intending to, it birthed itself. My 5.5 year old wanted to learn to read something before he starts grade 1 on Monday. So we learned the 'at' family of words, wrote a little story, he illustrated it and now he has a book he can read all by himself. I LOVE the lights that come on in their face when they realize that they're getting it!! I used to want to be a teacher in a school because of that very thing, then got very turned off by the college of Education that I was enrolled in. I decided that if I was going to be forced to teach the garbage that they set out and submit to those who called themselves leaders in that college then I was done.

However, during that year I did a project for a class that contrasted public, private and home education. I had never heard of home education really, it was very foreign to me. That assignment planted a seed that sprouted and grew. We haven't ever home-educated all our children at one time (who knows, that time may come at some point) but have been home-educating one or two of them at a time for the last 7 years, with the exception of a year or two when Samuel and Sasha were born.

While I was in the middle of teaching Sasha to read, Samuel asked for some difficult words to read. So I tried to think up some things that should be difficult for a kid going into grade 2. Words like hippopotamus, grotesque, tsunami, jugular, sympathy and stuff like that. It took him a seconde to realize sympathy wasn't symphony and other than that, grotesque was the only word that gave him any pause.

From reading and vocabulary we launched into French. The three of them asking me what this was in French and what that was. Asking me to speak sentences and translate them. This sparked Abby who knows some French to start teaching her brothers what she knew. They went over colours and some other common objects. We were having quite a bit of fun with that.

After that we got to talking about Karate Kid and martial arts and suddenly everyone was seeing how high we could kick - a little phys ed thrown in. Earlier they had been asking each other what 2-1-1 was and what 900 + 900 was as they played with a calculator.

Isn't that how learning should take place. Naturally. Not overwhelming. Little pieces at a time that are easily swallowed and digested? Older children helping younger children. I love to learn with my kids. I love when the lights come on for them. Granted at times if feels overwhelming and more than I can bear, especially when I get behind in marking! But we're going to try a bit more of the Charlotte Mason approach in narration and seeing what they know rather than testing to find out what they don't know and showing them all their failures.

A few more gifts to share:

673. A good day with my difficult son yesterday.
674. A big brother helping a little sister without being prompted by mom.
675. Fun with schoolwork, without even trying.
676. Praying with my sister-in-law as we try to encourage each other through our days.

Birthday gifts (672)

Today is my birthday and I have so many things to be thankful for. I want to give all my praise to the author and finisher of my faith, without that, I would be nothing and have nothing. Without Him, I deserve nothing and yet I have so much.
641. Salvation - spiritual birth that is worth more than life itself.
642. Grace - I so need Him to get through each and every moment.
643. Mercy - cause I am not that good at being good!
644. Truth - beats the lies every time.
645. Peace - in times of great stress and trial, it is there, underlying all the other stuff, waiting.
646. My family - what a joy they were today. The six of them worked together this morning to clean the kitchen and living room while I was away serving at a funeral. They were all alive and happy with one another when I got home.
647. My little boy who swiped a piece of fabric from my stash last week, wrapped it up and kept it hidden so he could 'surprise' me today with a 'blanket' just for me. How sweet is that!
648. Once again, thankful that my children are alive, healthy and learning to love Jesus.
649. Thankful for the skills and abilities that I have been blessed with.
650. Thankful that I get opportunities to share those gifts and skills with others.
651. The ladies that have become my friends in this town, you are truly a gift to me.
652. My mom and dad who have hosted my kids for the last bit - they had so much fun.
653. My husband's family, we spent the afternoon with them yesterday, what a great bunch. And the ones we didn't see yesterday, they're amazing, too.
654, The rest of my family, close and extended are pretty wonderful, too.
655. My big boys, playing with their little sister on the beach today.
656. The man at the concession who bought me a bottle of water today for my birthday - so sweet.
657. The beach today, quiet and calm and so beautiful.
658. A non-stressful day today.
659. Good fiction.
660. Inspiring reading.
661. Scrapbooking - such a fun way to share the stories of our family.
662. Upcoming events - the're a gift to anticipate, sitting unopened.... I love surprises.
663. Fresh green beans from my garden.
664. When the numbers on the scale actually start going down!!!
665. Chocolate cake baking in the oven - that is truly the best recipe ever!!!
666. Possibilities of tea dates and quilting dates.
667. New projects.
668. We finally started combining.
669. The joy in my husband's voice that he is sitting in a combine taking the crop off.
670. Our spiritual family - you rock!
671. The opportunity to encourage someone towards Jesus.
672. Uncles who ask you encouraging questions.
673. Homemade loveliness from my mommy.
674. Storebought loveliness from my other mom.
675. My sister.
676. My nieces and nephews - growing up so nicely.
677. The beginninig of another youth year starting soon.

My cake is ready to take out...I'm going to ignore the fact that I should really avoid that cake tonite in honor of my birthday and eat it...guilt free!!

Passing from death to life

There is nothing like a near death experience to bring you face to face with the reality of the gift of life, especially when it's one of your kids. My oldest son almost died today but because of God's grace he did not. Some people may consider all that happened a series of lucky coincidences, we say that is the hand of God sparing us a tragedy beyond words.

Kelly and Josiah were moving grain this morning. Josiah was in the back of the truck when Kelly started lifting the hoist. Josiah lost his footing and got sucked down into the gate of the truck while tons of grain poured down on him. He managed to keep his hands free and started throwing grain to signal Kelly that he was in trouble. Fortunately he had a dust mask on or his lungs and airways would have filled up with grain by the time Kelly got to him.

Kelly saw his signal and his first thought was that he was just being silly but decided to go check what he was doing. He saw his rear end stuck in the gate and realized that Josiah was in big trouble. He tried to pull him out but couldn't. Quickly he went and lowered the hoist to take the pressure of the grain off of him and started digging him out. He moved fast enough that Josiah hadn't passed out but his lips were definately blue by the time he got to him. As I said, with that much grain on top of him, without a dustmask on, he would have been dead by then, drowned in wheat, the very thing that puts food on our table.

We're all a little shaky today, sobered by reality. We learned a valuable lesson in safety and a spiritual lesson as well. Sometimes our kids are doing what appears to be silly or foolish, but they're really sending out a desparate cry for help, if we draw near, quickly, we might be able to hear something that we wouldn't have otherwise.

While I am still shaking inside I want to give praise to my heavenly Father for saving my son today, for giving my husband the ability to think and act quickly on his behalf and that I wasn't there to see it!

Blessings

The Glasses Angel

I think maybe we have a 'glasses angel' looking out for us. Between Sasha and myself we keep that fella busy. However, for the last month I was pretty sure that our angel was on vacation.

Last September we noticed that Sasha's eye was turning in and he was closing it in order to be able to see. Off we went to the eye doctor, sure enough glasses were in order. I made sure we got the most indestructable glasses they had. As good as those glasses were, they were still no match for a 4 1/2 year old whirlwind.

Right before we headed off to Colorado I noticed that his nosepieces were completely gone. There was no time to get them fixed before we left so off we went. The silly things were so loose on his head that they'd fall off without him even noticing. Unfortunately that happened somewhere up on Pike's Peak and we never saw them again.

Off to the eye doctor to retest and get a new pair. Fortunately for our bank account he needed a new prescription so insurance paid for the new pair. Whew! We've managed to keep that pair for 6 1/2 months. However, in that time frame they have been misplaced any number of times. Once I found them while I was cleaning up Lego, he and Sam had been wrestling so he very carefully put them in the tray of his sister's stroller and forgot where he put them. I came upon them quite by 'accident'. I think the glasses angel made the sun shine off them or something.

We getting ready to head home from one of our many excursions to camp and I'd felt the Spirit warn me that Sasha was going to lose his glasses. So it came as no surprise that as I was about to put the van in reverse I glanced back and saw his barren face. We started looking, running around camp to the places he suggested they might be. We were about to give up when Noemi suddenly made a sharp detour and went to the very spot where we had been parked and picked his glasses up off the ground. They were lying just outside the door where we had been parked, we could have stepped on them at any time as we looked but we didn't, the glasses angel protected them from us and told Noemi where to find them.

Now here we were again. We had just recovered the things from another lost episode and he had them on his face when we went out for the evening. A few days later I realized that he hadn't had them since then and he couldn't remember where he'd last had them. I asked the babysitter if she remembered anything about them but it was a couple of weeks later so I didn't expect that she would (she had been working at camp). I wasn't overly concerned because the case was missing, too, wherever they were, at least they were in the case. So I started searching in the likely places, top of the fridge, microwave, beside same, under the bed, couch, etc. Nothing. We prayed and asked God to show us, still nothing. I was beginning to despair.

Yesterday I was sitting at my sewing machine and pleading with God, we don't really have the cash to fork out for a new pair and he really needs them before school starts. One more time I asked him to show me where they were. I was chatting with my eldest son and glanced on top of the fridge. It couldn't be, but yes, there was a slim black case that looked an awful lot like Sasha's missing glasses case. Remember I've looked for them on top of that fridge any number of times. I popped open the lid and his glasses slid out. Even my son said, "You're kidding, they were right there?"

I am convinced the glasses angel was alerted by my prayers and was told to put them on the fridge for me yesterday. Or maybe he's been having some fun with me and Jesus told him that was enough already, put the glasses back. Whichever way it was, I am thankful for answered prayer.

thoughts for today (634)

I am toying with the idea of moving to a new blog page. I can't seem to edit any of my layout and it's really annoying me. Hmmmm...

gift #630. My littlest boy is excited to start school (Grade 1).

631. My oldest son came back to the house and did his chores that he had failed to do earlier without me reminding, nagging or yelling.

632. Got all the laundry caught up today.

633. Sewed up a really cute lunchbag for that Grade 1 boy to use for school. Why buy when you can sew!

634. I am so thankful for the ability to sew, I'm not sure what I'd do without that treasure!

gifts (629)

613. Not my news, but news of our good friends who've been waiting FOREVER to find out who they will be adopting from Ethiopia - they know and now can wait with anticipation! You can read their story over here.

614. My baby chicks are home. As lovely as it was to have a quiet, clean house, the level of life was a little less than I liked! I missed so many gifts that I take for granted...

615. "MOM, MOM, MOM....I HAVE AN IDEA!!!!"
616. Little girl voice chirping along with daddy's beautiful baritone, singing, "I love you Lord"
617. Sweet, sticky hugs from small warm bodies.
618. Sparkly eyes
619. Crooked smiles.
620. Mommy, can I sew with you tomorrow? Good excuse to get up close and personal with my machine I'm thinkin!!

Seriously, I thought I'd do crafty things but didn't do one single crafty thing. Did however, weed alot of garden space before all the rain came (621). I got started on the accounting for the farm that I am, oh, like 7 months behind on! It's coming. I spent some time with my 11 year old when he got home on Wednesday (622 and 623) truly, non-stressful time with him is a double gift!

We did have a lovely evening with friends (624). Went to the drive-in with our son and his friend (625). Got to have my honey along on the long drive to pick up kids from camp and go get kids from grandma's because of the rain (626). Got a great djembe for the 11 year old on his birthday (627). Got most of the school supply shopping done (628).

629. I am so grateful for my husband who supports me in difficult journeys that I don't want to go on because I'm scared to fail. He comes in and wipes away my fears with his faith, I am so blessed to have him.

Okay, gettin' tired. my man-child and husband are up from the depths...

Yesterday (612)

I slept in until 9:30 because no one woke me up.
588. getting a full night of sleep is a gift.

Had breakfast.

Devotions out on the deck.
589. Warm sun on my back.
590. Birds flititng in and out of the trees and near my feet.
591. A great devotional book that I'm going through (90 Days With Jesus by Beth Moore).
592. Leaning agains the deck rail - I love that deck even if it isn't finished yet.

Weeding in the bean patch.
593. Discovered there were new tender beans ready to be picked.
604. Got accosted by my loving dogs - all 3 at one time.

Finding out the fridge had been turned off by our little one a couple of days ago.
594. Chicken noodle soup.
595. Banana bread.
596. A nice mid-afternoon snack.
597. Didn't have to thaw out meat for supper.
598. A lovely clean fridge and freezer.
599. On behalf of the dogs - a gift from a little girl - they enjoyed their supper!

Washed the floor.

Took time out to read here and there.
600. So thankful for the gift of literature that the Lord has given us.
601. Thankful for the authors who chose to use their gifts to bless so many.
602. Rekindled desire to write.

Made a delightful supper of new potatoes, onions and beans from our garden with sausage on the barbeque.
603. Ate supper on the deck.

Worked together with my wonderful husband in the yard until it got dark.
605. Work that satisfies is a gift.

Watched a good movie.
606. Thankful, too, for the film industry, especially when they produce a really good picture.

607. Danced in the moonlight with my husband.
608. Bright moon.
609. Bright stars.
610. Soft breeze.
611. Privacy to do such a silly thing.

Finished reading a novel I started, a wonderful picture of God's gift of grace to us.
612. God's grace to me, who didn't deserve it.

Yesterday was a good day. Thank you Lord for a stress-free day.

gifts from this weekend (587)

we are home from a powerful weekend of worshipping, listening and participating with God in what He wanted for us...a weekend full of gifts...

551. God's amazing provision for a place for this gathering to be held, He literally took the wheel off our truck on the highway way back in April so that we could meet the owner of the lake where we wished to hold the gathering.

552. the gift of lovely weather, even the storm felt like His blessings being poured out

553. the interaction of generations, blessing...releasing...loving one another

554. watching the team of leaders, interacting, waiting on the Lord, not pushing agendas...

555. the sweet spirit of love

556. sharing, interacting, waiting together

557. the young people responding, dancing, laughing, singing, praying together, and for one another

558. watching covenants be made

559. seeing the face of one who I knew should be there finally arriving

560. hearing the testimonies of lives changed by His grace

561. seeing grace poured out in my son as he took up the flag of fire and waved it with all his might

562. seeing my younger sons, dancing and participating in every session

563. watching my daughter dance and love Jesus with all her heart

564. listening to my husband lead with authority and clarity, covered by the other leaders, walking shoulder to shoulder with him

565. seeing my daughter and my niece (one caucasian, one native) playing and dancing together, not concerned about skin colour or racial differences, they just love one another

566. seeing the army of God advancing through worship and praise

567. sweet moments of grace as one prays for another,

568. encouraging words offered

569. sunburned noses lifted to the Son

570. someone else running an errand so my husband could play with his kids

571. a young lady taking my little girl to play so I could rest

572. our van, with enough room to sleep - not in a tent

573. matches from the neighbouring campsite

574. finally meeting people you've only heard about and finding out how wonderful they really are

575. leadership of young people, on fire for God, walking in their gifts.

576. spirit-led prayers of tiny hearts led by the spirit

577. offers of prayer, walking alongside, being there

578. phonecalls from friends including us in good news that they've been waiting for for so long

579. radiant brides bouncing with anticipation on their wedding day

580. handsome grooms with awestruck glances as they view their bride coming toward them

581. wonderful weddings filled with God's blessings

582. friends
583. family
584. family of God

585. being fully, spiritually awake enough to enjoy all of these gifts

586. to be able to fully contribute and participate because my spirit is awake!

587. the glimmer of a new song, being formed in my heart

so many good things this weekend, I can hardly contain it

Fishing with Jesus

scattered thoughts...

random tasks...

having a hard time grasping the next thing...

"Cast off and throw your nets out."

"But we've been doing this all night."

"I know, just go and do what I said."

murmers, wondering

what could he be thinking?

"Look at that, hey, we need help, come over."

"Why?"

"Fish, tons of fish!!"

"You're kidding, we've been out all night with nothing to show for it."

"Well, we've got a catch now, help us, our nets are breaking."

"Okay, okay, we're coming."

"Wow, I see what you mean! C'mon, lean in fellas, we've got work to do."

The master fisherman/carpenter/teacher smiles from shore and waits for his fishing friends to come in.

Lord, help me to pull it together, to get my nets into the water when you tell me, too. Pull me out of my complacency and help me fish with you.

An Example from the Word, by the Word

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark,

Jesus got up,

left the house

and went off to a solitary place,

where he prayed.

Simon and his companions went to look for him,

and when they found him,

they excaimed:

"Everyone is looking for you!"

Mark 1:35-37

I have to admit that getting to the Word is often difficult. Doesn't seem to matter how early I get up or how late I stay up, someone is always looking for me...and they always find me. I get terribly frustrated by the intrusions. This morning as I meditated on the words above a sleepy, still warm from bed little body inserted herself into the space between me and the Word, not talking, just needing to wake up slowly in a safe and comfortable space.

At first I was annoyed with the intrusion, rushing thoughts in my head..."how am I supposed to get close to the Father when I'm always interrupted?" as I shifted my bible and journal and devotional book and pen to make a place for this wee treasure. My mind wonders how Jesus can relate to mothers with many children always interrupting...

...I look down again at the passage I am reading, he had gone off by himself, sneaking away while it was dark to get a minute with his father...but they were looking for him...

...and they found him, bursting into holy moments they had no idea of. I wonder if they clued in, these noisy, uncouth men, did they know that they were interrupting communion? Probably not, the need of the now consumed them. But, Jesus didn't tell them to get lost, he didn't even rebuke them or tell them what he had been doing, simply got up and led them to minister somewhere else.

I shifted my books again and brought my little girl a bit closer to my heart, a little closer to my holy moment. I pray that this morning she felt her mamma draw her near to the father even just a little as the Word showed me how it's done.

Awakening (550)

I find myself in the unusual position of having only 2 kids at home. All 4 boys are off somewhere else. It is exceedingly quiet. My dear husband's plans for today were rained out, so he is taking a much needed rest on the living room floor watching a movie with the girls. One can almost hear oneself think, it's a little shocking to my synapses!

I wrapped myself up in a blanket (it's really quite chilly today) and lay on the couch to finish reading Off the Map by Sandy Rosen. This book is the story of their 5 year journey from sea to sea with a motley crew of believers taking the gospel of Jesus to the streets and towns of Canada. They would only go as the Lord opened the doors, they only had the finances that God provided as they went. These are the stories of how God showed up when His people took Him seriously. An inspiring adventure to see the least. Also a reminder of what God has done in our lives as we have stepped out in faith to meet Him. We have stories to tell like those in that book. We are in the middle of just such an adventure, living in a tiny town on a tiny farm with 6 kids and a big God. We are out here because He moved us here. We believe that He wants to do amazing things in this little part of the world to affect our province and our nation - we believe it and we will stick here until we see it happen or He moves us to another place.

This weekend the nation is coming to visit whether our little town knows it or not. We are having a gathering at a little lake between our town and the next to worship and announce that Jesus is Lord on the prairies. We are going to rattle the heavens a little and people are coming from across the country to join us, because they, too, believe that something is about to break loose here and want to see it happen. I wasn't much excited about the whole thing a few weeks ago quite honestly. We're involved in the planning, we're going to be in the midst of it, but I have been so wrapped up in my own exhaustion and spiritual inadequacy that I haven't been paying the thing any mind.

However, in the last few weeks God has been awakening my spirit again. Starting to blow off the apathy that so pervades this region, awakening me from spiritual slumber, taking the plugs out of my ears so I can once again hear Him whispering to my heart the things He wants to do. We will be swept up by Him once again, caught in His Spirit, listening to His heart and doing what He says...

548. The gifts he has planted in us to share with others, are a gift.
549. The gifts that God has given to his body to be shared, are a gift.
550. The freedom we still enjoy to worship in the middle of a field, is a gift.

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week (547)

This week my friend and 5 of her kids were out for the week. Usually, we enjoy ourselves and have a great time, however, we have dubbed this week, the terribe, rotten, horrible, no good, very bad week....

Monday morning - my youngest son cuts holes in the trampoline with a pair of scissors
Monday afternoon - our two oldest daughters disappear without a trace for about 45 minutes due to a lack of communication. We had no idea where they were and could not find them anywhere
Tuesday morning - S & S (our 5 year olds) decide they've had enough of VBS, excuse themselves to go to the bathroom and don't come back. So, while I am teaching ladies how to make a purse, the VBS director comes in to inform me that my son and his friend are no where to be found and are not on the church grounds or in the building. So, after checking the nearby parks and grandma's house we come back to the church, they haven't returned. ONe of the ladies I'm teaching says she saw them heading in the direction of our farm. I head out once again and find them, hand in hand, walking the gravel road toward home. We were not amused, even if they were pretty cute.
Wednesday evening - Elizabeth falls and cuts her hand on glass, badly. The good news is that I prevailed upon my friendship with the doctor's wife and headed over to their house with her because the cut was really deep. Fortunately, because of where it was located, right in the fold of her finger, we didn't have to go for stitches.
Thursday morning - the SS team gets up super early and heads out to trash the neighbors quad that he left where he was going to build fence near our field. If that wasn't bad enough, when we have assessed the damage and informed the neighbor and go to head into town, my keys are missing. The boys had used them to try to start the quad and lost them. We sent out the team and they were able to find them under the quad. We spent an hour after lunch relocating all the stuff that they had tossed off the quad. We are even less amused with our sons.
Thursday afternoon - We take the crew over to Uncle Bill's where the uncles have rigged up a movie theater to amuse all the cousins. As we're getting out I swing the door shut at the exact moment that my friend's baby inserts his index finger into the hinge of the door. Let the screaming begin. We head back to town for stitches (4 of them) in his tiny little finger.
Thursday evening - We are heading home from the uncle's when my oldest yells to stop the vehicle as screams are emanating from the back seat. My youngest son has managed to get his arm stuck out the window and can't get it back in.
Friday morning - the SS team is at it again and they let the dogs in the house. One of my second oldest son's webkins is later found eaten by the dogs (that particular son is off in Ottawa with his dad - did we mention that the daddy's weren't here this week? well they weren't)

So, we need to be thankful that this wasn't worse than it was....what are our gifts from this terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad week?

539. No one is dead.
540. We found all the missing persons.
541. I was definately praying a lot.
542. We've had some very teachable moments with our sons.
543. The ladies in the ladies' time out where very good sisters in surrounding us with hugs and prayers throughout this week.
544. We really did have a good time at VBS.
545. We've had some good times with our oldest boys reminiscing about all the stupid things they did when they were 5.
546. We are thankful the big boys didn't do anything too foolish since they are capable of doing things that are far more dangerous and foolish.
547. We remembered to keep our eyes on Jesus and not walk in fear.