Yours, Mine and Ours
copyright 2006, lani wiens
a fresh flowers original
(co-authored by Kelly Wiens)
I have dreams. My husband has dreams. We have dreams. How can we possibly accomplish all that we dream. In two words or less...we can't. So then, how are these dreams that are so much a part of us going to happen, particularly if we're convinced they are given by the Dreamgiver, Himself? It's not that hard actually, we simply serve someone else's dream. Oh I can hear the HUH? from here!! Seems confusing doesn't it? Seems like a formula destined to failure. Sounds like something completely opposite from all the 'Look our for #1' and 'if you don't take care of yourself no one else will' stuff that we're fed on a continuous basis from our society.
It's actually a very biblical concept. Jesus said, "If you want to be great in my kingdom learn to be the servant of all." and then He proceeded to show them how it was done. To give you a slightly more here and now example, I would like to take you through a week in the life of the Flowerlady and her Musicman.
One week Flowerlady and Musicman set aside time to work on projects around their home. They had a very long list that didn't look possible. They determined that they would do what they could. In their own hearts, without speaking to each other about it, they determined that they wouldn't demand anything of the other so that each could do what was on their list. Flowerlady was working on the basement organization and Musicman was determined to re-build the play structure they'd had to dismantle when they moved. Their hearts were full of joy as they worked each in their own space.
Musicman hit a snag in his plans. He really needed to go and do some work on the church building, it wasn't in the plans for the week, but felt He needed to do it first, so he gave that time to the Lord. God blessed Him for his effort and sent a friend to help him with the play structure for two days. This friend came with extra screws, some essential tools to do the job, strong arms, good ideas and companionship.
Flowerlady ran into problems in the basement, there were things she couldn't lift or move by herself. She had set her heart on having this space all cleaned up and ready for a special crafty day and it didn't seem like that could possibly happen. There were just too many pieces she couldn't do by herself and she wasn't going to take the Musicman away from his project. So she released that dream to the Lord and determined to be content with whatever she could get done. When her Musicman asked how things were coming she let him know that there were a few things that she couldn't move but didn't demand or even ask that he move them. Later on Musicman needed to come in for some piece of the play structure. He remembered the Flowerlady's dilema and moved a few boxes out of the way.
It wasn't long after that, that he had to come back again and felt very convicted to move a few more things around. Then the two of them started working together and it wasn't long before the basement was at a place where the Flowerlady could finish it by herself and the Musicman could go back to his work. Neither one of them would have been able to move those items by themselves, working together was essential.
Later on in the week, Musicman needed to meet a payment deadline for his business and run some errands He had been determined to do this himself and was getting worried that he wouldn't get everything finished on the play structure AND do the errands. The Flowerlady noticed that he was getting a little stressed. She realized that her mission and dream had been accomplished and so she had the time to do the errands. The offer was made and accepted. The payment deadline, the errands and Musicman's birthday gifts were all accomplished in a short time allowing him to keep going on his project.
It was Thursday night. The Flowerlady had a regular commitment to quilt with her girlfriends on Thursday evenings. When she saw that the Musicman was behind on his project she willingly gave up her quilting night so that he could keep working and not have to stop to look after the children. However, because she served the Musicman's need to do the errands and pay the bill, he was able to keep working. He came in for supper and announced that he would be done shortly and that she would be able to go after all. He was satisified with his accomplishemnt and spent a lovely evening with the children while the Flowerlady went to meet with her friends. And they lived happily ever after........for that evening anyway. And that is just the beginning of this story.
Sometimes we figure we need to do OUR thing or OUR thing will not happen because somebody else's thing is happening instead. We are learning that when we serve someone else, what we desire seems to rise out of nowhere and come to fruition. It is how Jesus lived his life, and how we want to live ours. That does not give us license to use other people to climb our way over their hurting dreams to reach our own. Oh no, that is not the way of love. Our own dreams must be given up to the Dreamgiver who will blow on those cold embers and bring them to life at the proper time. Submit to [or serve] one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21) That means, "I will come under you and lift you up knowing that in due time, the Lord will bring someone under me to lift me up. He is the lifter of my head - not me.
Galatians 6:2 "Carry each other's burdens for this way you'll fulfill the law of Christ."
Galatians 5:13 "You my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather, serve one another in love."
Musicman Note: Sometimes we as men think that because we are the head of our home and our wives are supposed to submit to us that our wives exist solely to help us fulfill our dreams. The verse from Ephesians 5, submit to each other out of reverance for Christ helps us remember that we are to mutually serve or submit to each other because we have a common head in Christ who gives dreams and visions to both equally. For my wife's dreams to come to fruition I must lay my life down, my ambitions, my current goals as I hear the Lord say, "Serve your wife now in what SHE is doing and trust ME to help you get your dream done on time."