Gentleness

Gentleness.

What does it look like really, from the inside out. I don't consider myself a gentle person, I don't have a soft voice, I'm not small and roundish. I'm not soft-spoken. I'm none of the things that I picture to be gentle, and yet I long to be that. I am harsh and hard for more often than I like. Gentle has strong, soft edges, mine are rough and sometimes fragile. I long for a gentleness in my spirit that responds softly to the rebelliousness and stubborness of my children and the harsh edges of this world.

It seems that this theme keeps popping up in my face lately. I see it being written about and talked about. I long to be a gentle - woman. Just maybe, if I learn to be gentle my children might learn it, too.

I pray this might be so.

September 1 (243)

It is September 1. I love September, I think it's my favorite month of the year. It marks the beginning for me like no other month does. I've always loved the start of school, new books and pencils, the leaves starting to turn, bringing out the sweaters and cuddling up under a blanket with a good book. It's also the return of more predictable days and routines. It's an extremely busy time of year but it's a good kind of busy - harvesting the fruits of our labours, getting ministry activities off the ground, starting new tasks for the coming year.

Today our new family member arrived, Noemi. She is from Germany and will be living with us for six months, within an hour she has gained the love of our children and the peace of knowing that everything will work out well has rained down into my heart. All will be well.

225. I am so thankful that Noemi arrived safely.
226. I am thankful that the rain held off until Saturday night so that the men could combine until then.
227. I am thankful that the rain kept Kelly home today so that he could be here when Noemi arrived.
228. I'm also thankful that Kelly being home means the carpet job on the steps is finally getting finished (it's only been a year and a half).
229. I am thankful that I am married to my very best friend.
230. Last night we took some time for the two of us and watched the movie, "The Ultimate Gift". What an amazing movie, I highly recommend it for all audiences, what an incredible message this movie gives to each one of us, the gifts that we take for granted. Excellent, excellent movie.
231. I am thankful for the church family that I am part of out here in the sticks. A few of us got together at the church last night to eat and play games, it was supposed to be a beach party but the weather didn't cooperate.
232. I am thrilled that Kelly had the privelege of baptizing two of our youth yesterday morning.
233. Tears that wash our souls clean.
234. The sweet movements that my little girls starts into as soon as the music reaches her soul.
235. Relationship with my oldest son, I am glad he still includes me in his life and dreams.
236. Excellent music that lifts my soul to heaven and allows it to take wing.
237. A new homeschooling year, new books, new ideas, new thoughts.
238. To be a witness to the joy of learning taking hold and carrying a child to new places is a privelege.
239. The school bus arriving to transport my boys to a world of learning that they love to participate in.
240. Joy on my son's face as he reports that he is not in need of an educational assistant this year, his teacher feels he is able to be with his class all the time, while I know this won't be easy for him, he doesn't feel so different from everyone else.
241. True repentance is a gift.
242. Quiet rest that restores my soul...

243. Before the throne of God above I have a strong and perfect plea,

a high priest who pleads and intercedes for me, my name is graven on his hand.........

The List of 40 Blessings for 40 years of grace so far

S0 today I am 40!! My husband blessed me this morning. Not only did he get my three beautiful gold chains fixed he bought me a very lovely ring for my birthday. Perhaps I'll post a picture later. Unfortuately my son was very grumpy this morning so it wasn't exactly a harmonious and joyful morning. My 4 year old son was distraught that he had no gift for me so I let him go shopping...for me...out of my basket of little gifts that I keep on hand for last-minute gift giving. He was happy, his heart is a good one. So, I must begin my list of 40 things for today...

(I will label these 1-40 but they're part of my 1000 gifts list)

1. I am thankful for life today. God didn't have to let me live, but he did.
2. He knit me together in my mother's womb, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
3. This morning, my devotions were based on Psalm 139 - how cool is that.
4. He loves me.
5. He gave me parents who trusted him with my life and were willing to take the risk and let me live. (The doctors told them to abort.)
6. It is a gift that he allowed me to be normal, well, relatively normal. :)
7. He blessed me with many skills and abilities for which I am deeply thankful.
8. I can write songs.
9. I can write poems and stories.
10. He gave me an incredible visual imagination.
11. I can sew and do all manner of crafty things.
12. I can sing and play the piano.
13. I can organize events.
14. There's a lot more that I can do but I'm not going to give any more numbers to those things.
15. So besides my incredible parents I have an amazing sister, who has a wonderful family.
16. I have two great brothers, also with amazing families, unfortunately one of those dear brothers has already departed this good earth in favor of hanging out with Jesus, I look forward to seeing him again.
17. My amazing husband, Kelly. I am so thankful that God allowed me to marry my best friend.

And right here in the midst of my list he surprised me. We went for supper at his parents home and after we had our family celebration people started showing up and we had a little party in the back yard, how sweet, and surprising was that?

18. The people who raised my husband are very wonderful and a gift to me.
19. They also have two lovely daughters who I am priveleged to call my sisters-in-law,
20. Who are married to two wonderful men and they have some lovely children.
21. Then God blessed us with a wonderful spiritual family that just keeps growing and growing.
22. After a few years of wedded bliss we began to have some blessings of our own, starting with Josiah - a wonderful young man-to-be, what a great helper he is.
23. Christopher, our chosen blessing.
24. Abby, our sweet and compassionate daughter.
25. Samuel, a thoughtful son.
26. Sasah our sparkly little man who makes us laugh.
27. And Elizabeth our sweet little flower.
28. I have been blessed with a wonderful extended family of my own as well as my husband's.
29. I am blessed to live the life we're living right now, farming, pastoring, parenting...full, full life.
30. And of course we are blessed with many friends too numerous to mention all my name for the fear of missing someone out.
31. This may seem trivial but I'm extremely thankful for my new sewing machine that Kelly bought me several months ago, it is such a treat to sew with.
32. I am blessed to have daisies blooming in my garden.
33. I am blessed to have had a wonderful evening for this party, the weather was just perfect!
34. I am thankful that I will soon be heading for my bed...I'm tired.
35. I am blessed to have lived 37 years with the Lord already, that's a long time to have been walking this way, God is faithful.
36. I am blessed that He will continue to finish the work that he began in me, he dreamed me up and he has a plan that I can't possibly imagine and I get to watch.
37. He walks with me, and HE talks with me, and he tells me I am his own.
38. He says I'm beautiful and a princess!!
39. I am blessed to have had my son invite me to play a game with him (he never does that), so even though he soundly beat me...I am thankful for something that was truly a gift from him.
40. I am blessed by the people who stop by and read this, even though you don't all comment, I am thankful for you.

So that's it for today...it's been a good, good day. Tomorrow I'll probably herd the kids to the beach and hang out with some friends at their cabin since it's supposed to be scorching hot. I might get some pictures posted but I'm not making any promises. Blessings to one and all.

The eve of turning 40.

Tomorrow I turn 40 years old. I will have officially completed four decades of living on this good earth. I am not ashamed of being 40, I think I've earned my years, some days I feel much, much older. Other days I feel like I can't possibly have lived so long already, I've only just gotten started.

However, tonite, on the eve of this momentous occassion I feel very blah. I'm tired after making the long drive home from my mom's. It was nice to visit, gather my little chickens around me once again and nice to head home. I'm tired, feel yucky after eating and drinking things I don't usually eat and drink in an effort to stay awake and should probably just go to bed.

Having your birthday at harvest time is a downer. Nobody is around because they're all busy in the field, there will not likely be a party except with the family at my in-laws house tomorrow evening. My husband is a wonderful man but planning events is not his forte - that's why he married me. Maybe I should have just planned a party for myself, however, that would have seemed a little vain don't you think? None of my kids got me anything or even made cards. I already know what my gift is from my husband, cause I told what he should do (I wanted all the beautiful gold chains that he's ever given me that my sweet babies have pulled off my neck repaired) and he did it.

I think perhaps I'm having a little pity party for one here, I'll behave myself in the morning and I will write my 40 thankful things, I promise. For now, my sweet husband is home from the field, it is 11:00 PM and I am going to go to bed so I'm not tired and cranky on my birthday.

week-ending blessings (164-174)

So much to be thankful for as we head into this weekend. Life is fragile and we must never take for granted the moments that we are allowed in this brief life.

164. My brother-in-law's life was preserved in what could have potentially been a very bad collision at an intersection, overturning his van and allowing him to slide with his face inches from the pavement with an open window. You can read more about that here.

165. My father-in-law hit a large buck and only sustained some minor damage to his truck.

166. We missed hitting a rather large moose as it bolted onto the highway as we drove home from my parents house.

167. I am thankful for the blessing of encouragement as I read other blogs and enjoy what the Lord deposits in other's lives. Holy Experience. God has gifted this woman with incredible insight and a gift for putting that into words. She is a gift to all of us . Two of her posts, one about feathring our nests as mothers and one about the gentle guidance of our children really spoke to me this week. Thank you Ann.

168. I am thankful for telephone lines that connect me to friends who call unexpectedly. Such a blessing to spend time comuning with a kindred spirit that I haven't spoken to in a long time...too long. Thanks Krista for taking the time to call.

169. I am thankful for dreams. My husband and I spent this cool dreary morning dreaming about an addition to our home, whether it happens or not is not the point, it is the ability to envision and dream that is a gift today, especially with one whom I love and share the vision.

170. I am thankful for my father-in-law's abilaity to take an idea and make it better. He has an uncanny ability to see the potential problems and come up with a solution in an instant. I love that about him.

171. I am thankful that in a few hours I will be reunited with the children who have been at Grandma's this week. I can't wait to hug them and see their beautiful faces.

172. I am thankful for the two that I had with me this week and the time I could spend with them.

173. I am thankful for the brain break it was to have only two kids this week. Two kids is so much easier than six.

174. And I am thankful for my parents who allowed me to leave four kids at their house this week.

In honor of my 40th birthday, which is coming up on Sunday, I am going to attempt a list of 40 for that day!!

thankfulness (163)

This morning I am thankful for the peace that is permeating my home (153). I only have my oldest and youngest sons home with me and the rest of the crew are at my parents home having what I am sure is a wonderful time (154). My brain has been able to have a rest from the constant demands of children (155) and I've been able to do some tasks that needed finishing that I just couldn't seem to get too (156).

Today we'll put Josiah's room back together it looks so lovely (157). I am glad for my son's artistic eye, especially when he lets it guide his choices in colors for his room (158). He took them out of the quilt I made him for his birthday so now he has a two tone room in 'goblin green' and 'burnt bark' - green and brown.

Last night my own creative juices woke up right after my bladder did at about 2 AM. I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and started working on the things I had in my head - lovely cushions for my bed. I was thrilled to find fabric in my cupboard that was absolutely perfect for what I envisioned (159). I was a little nervous this morning that my middle of the night creative energies might have produced something I wouldn't like in the morning but that was not the case, I still like it this morning and will post some pics once they're all finished.

Yes I am thankful, thankful for cool evening breezes after a hot day (160).
Thankful that they could actually start combining last night (161). Not so thankful that it broke down already, something with the header.
Thankful for the sweet caress of satin on my shoulders - I pulled out my pretty bathrobe and decided to wear it this morning as I sipped hot chocolate and enjoyed breakfast with my 4 year old. (162)
Looking forward to a date with my boys this evening. (163) We're going to go to the drive-in to see Wall.E.
I so needed this respite from my regular world, thank you Lord and mom and dad for giving me this little break.

Happy Birthday!!

This young man is 10 today. That means he has been part of our family for 9.5 years. So much has changed, so much progress has been made. He was one happy clam this morning when he got his MP3 player. He was even happier when his non-techno-mommy managed to load it with songs and stories since his techno-geek brother wasn't home. I even got a, "You're the best mom in the world!" today. We're happy to have you in our home and in our hearts!

Psalm 103 - 148-152

148. Psalm 103. Right now this is the theme of my song. I am so thankful that he knows how weak I am.
149. He know that I am dust - just ordinary dust that turns to mud when it gets wet, that blows all over when winds come against it, dust that sticks to things and makes a fine mess of everything...that's me right now....dust.
150. He is not harsh with us as our sins deserve.
151. He is slow to anger, abounding in love.
152. He doesn't punish all our sins.

137-147

137. I am so very thankful for the team that we work with in youth, they are an amazing group of individuals and I feel very priveleged to work with them.
138. This thing called the internet is a wonderful thing that allows me to "talk" to dear friends all over the world.
139. I am thankful for the relationships that we have built with the young people we work with over this last year, such a difference from the awkwardness of last year. I love those kids.
140. Summer camps.
141. Swimming lessons.
142. Chai tea.
143. A flock of seagulls rising as one off the surface of the lake, circling, swirling in a glorious dance that settles gently back on the water...such beauty.
144. My lovely mug from the Chinese garden in Montreal.
145. The chore chart that I developed for our kids that actually works.
146. Progress that is happening on our rotten deck to replace it in time for the new barbeque that should be here next week.
147. I am thankful that God helped us be patient and save a little at a time so that when the barbeque we wanted came on sale, we could purchase it with no regrets or qualms. Yeah!!

vbs is over

We had a great week with the huge crew. No major disasters, some fun at the lake, lots of fun at VBS. We were all a little tired at the end of the week and perhaps a little cranky, but no regrets and we'd definately do it again.

On the weekend we drove everyone home, the girls went to camp, J flew to Winnipeg to hang out with his aunt, uncle and cousins (hopefully he'll be helpful, too). It was a little bit hard for this mamma to watch her little boy (okay I know he isn't very little anymore) head off on a big plane all by himself. When I talked to him this morning I asked him if he was scared at all and he said, "Not even close!" Sigh, he's growing up.

mega family VBS

It is VBS week in our neck of the world and some of our best friends are here to spend it with us. My friend and her 6 kids are here for the week bringing our household total to 12 kids and 3 adults, 2 dogs and 10 cats (okay the dogs and cats don't live in the house). They arrived last night and here's our tally of happenings in the first 24 hours.

8 litres of milk (it's being rationed or it would have been waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more)
3 loaves of bread
1 box of spaghetti
3 lbs of hamburger
16 corn dogs eaten
2 bags of chips
a lot of cold cuts
a lot of cereal

5 skinned knees
2 skinned elbows
3 skinned palms
6 missing children
6 baths
2 loads of laundry
1 monster thunder storm

I'd say we're doing pretty well!

Some Montreal Pics

These are a few pictures of our trip to Montreal. I loved the architechture there. Alot of the city, particularly the old part is built of brick and stone - built to last, to withstand fire and all that. It's beautiful and feels so solid. Glass and steel seem so out of place there.

We took in MANY museums and such things. YOu can see the top of the Biodome, taken from the top of the Montreal Tour which rises over Olympic Stadium. We took the funicular up to the top of the tower, it's a beautiful view but not really worth the exhorbitant amount they charge you for the privelege. We had great Thai food at a little restaurant called Just Noodles, probably my favorite meal the whole time we were there. Abby and I put on a tremendous amount of miles walking to various spots. We were a little tired by the time we hit the Botanical Gardens, Abby decided to take a little break in the Chinese Garden. We learned a great deal about the history of Montreal and about quite a few other things, I'll save that for another post since I'm supposed to go practice the song we're singing tomorrow right now.

gifts (136)

126. fresh cherries - sweet red juice dripping, so good you just can't stop eating them
127. Linda at the Co-op for letting me get my apricots early
128. 38 jars of preserved fruit sitting on my counter
129. huge, yellow, sweet apricots, not those bland things that you eat and feel like it wasn't worth the effort, tast, sweet, yummy apricots, some for jam and some for canning!
130. The room air conditioner that Kelly purchased on the 23rd. Oh how lovely that was today with all my steamy cooking!
131. Decorations saved from another party so I could quickly make the family party look like a festive event.
132. The clean kitchen after the first wave of canning is finished.
133. The 8 and 9 year olds who volunteered to wash and stem the cherries and then pack them into jars, it was a joy to work alongside them.
134. My four year olds overflowing gratitude for doing the simple task of mending a pair of his pajama pants - that kind of gratitude makes you want to hit the mending pile so maybe you can get another round of that!
135. My new CD that came in the mail today, it has the most wonderful song on it called "The Gift" that totally speaks to my spirit - I love the song, so I purchased the CD - the rest of the CD is good, too. Artist - David Nevue, CD - Sweet Dreams and Starlight - solo piano
136. After a week of 'counting my steps' I realized that I average about 10000 steps every day, I thought that goal would be difficult to reach but I guess it might not be so hard after all.

The gift of my son (125)

Today was my third son's birthday. My little Samuel turned 6 and was very happy about it...he told everyone he saw today that it was his birthday. The mean mommy had the nerve to schedule dentist appointments for him and his brother on his birthday, how nasty is that? On the upside, my kids love going to the dentist and, because we were in the city, his birthday party got to be at the Fun Factory. The kids had a blast. One of the benefits of having a large family is that you are a party when everyone is together!! So today my gift list is going to be focused on this wonderful boy I get to call my son!

115. I am grateful that I get to be his mom.
116. His adorable little smirk is always a treat to see.
117. I love it that his personality is so incredibly different than his siblings.
118. He is a fiercely loyal young man.
119. His heart is healed! Thank you Jesus. His physical heart and his spiritual heart were dealt with all on the same weekend, what a blessing to be there when your child gives their heart to their Creator.
120. I continue to be amazed at the change wrought in his health since his heart surgery, you would never know now that he was born with a defective heart.
121. I love his zeal for learning, over the winter he decided to learn to read...so he did. And this summer he decided he wanted to learn French so he started on the same program that his older sister is taking.
122. He is so darn cute!!
123. He loves condiments (especially ketchup) - I don't know if that's really a gift or not but I'm putting it in.
124. He likes cherry tomatoes - no one else in my family does except me, so it's nice to have someone to share them with.
125. He is a gift, simply because he is..........I love that boy.

good night

This evening I have enjoyed a little tour through the blog world. I haven't done that in oh-so-long. It was lovely to go and 'visit' places I haven't been to in a long while. Realized some of my links aren't good anymore and I really need to change them. Bought some delicious fabric from freshsqueezedfabrics (Randi's Etsy shop on I have to say - that link is good still). Laughed a little at Fish in My Hair (that link isn't good anymore). Anyway, I think I should probably go to bed now, I'm rather tired and don't have anything eloquent to say...

Progress not Perfection (114)

Progress not Perfection
a fresh flowers original
copyright 2008, lani wiens

This morning as I sit at my computer and listen to the birds sing and my little girl babbling at my side my heart is peaceful and full. The Lord has been showing me a few things lately and for a change my heart has been able to take it in and His words are speaking to my heart and bringing about a gradual change.

I've been really ready for a change. There are times when the Spirit lets us gets good and discontent with the way things are so that when we're finally fed up with the way things are we're willing to go through the necessary adjustments. I think God smiles at that, "Finally," he says, "I was wondering how long you'd put up with that."

I am a self-proclaimed perfectionist. I would love it if my home was clean and decorated like a magazine photo shoot. I would be thrilled if my children didn't have to be told to do their chores, were always kind to one another and spoke with respect and reverance for their God. You know those kids, the ones who do their devotions on their own from the time they're two, were potty-trained perfectly at 8 months and spoke in complete sentences from the womb. That's what I'm talking about. I'd like some of those. And me. In my perfect world I'd wake up with my make-up done, my hair would always look like someone is gently blowing a fan on me and I would NOT have this extra bubble in the middle that refuses to go away. My words would be gentle and sweet, I would never yell at anyone and my teeth would be a glistening white. Did I mention that my garden would never have a single weed...they wouldn't dare.

So, that's my dream state. My reality, of course, is far from that. With all the kids home for the summer the snowstorm in which I shovel is a strong nor'easter with no signs of letting up!! I've been walking consistently for over 2 months and that bubble just won't budge. I get a little upset with my less than perfect children now and then and they don't have devotions every day unless it's with the rest of the family at the breakfast table. All of this imperfection can get a person feeling a little down, why bother with this anyway if I'm never going to achieve my lofty goals?

Between my husband, the Spirit of the Lord and a few weeds my heart started getting a new picture as I cried out in my desperation for something to change. The questions started coming..."Who do I clean for and why do I do it?", "Why do I want my children to behave and obey?", "For whom am I weeding these gardens?" Those questions set me back on my heels. I realized that much of what I was doing wasn't in obedience to the Lord it was to impress whoever happened to be nearest. I didn't want anyone thinking that perhaps I was less than perfect or ...gasp...that my dear children were not angels. My husband and my Lord told me very clearly to change my goal.

If I keep perfection as my target I will constantly be frustrated and angry that my goals are blocked and not being reached by my imperfect self and all the imperfect people who share my home. My goal needs to be progress. My new question needs to be, "Are we heading in that general direction?", "Are the things I'm working on moving toward completion?", is it better than yesterday?

Unfortunately the weeds are going to keep coming. My little boy is going to keep using bathroom talk in his everyday speech until he figures out that it isn't popular or funny. The snowstorm is going to keep blowing and I need to lower my standards of what clean looks like in my house. At the same time I will continue to encourage myself and my children toward the goal of greater cleanliness, deeper devotion, a more weed-free existence.

God actually calls us to perfection. Jesus says in Matthew, "Be perfect, therefore as the Father is perfect." As Angela Thomas says, God isn't going to lower His standard for us so that we can feel better about ourselves. God keeps the standard high and lovingly directs us toward it. He is well aware of the fact that we aren't going to get there as long as we're wearing these fleshly coverings but he constantly urges us toward that goal and rejoices in the progress we make. And on the days we don't make progress he wraps us in his grace and mercy and says, "Let's try again tomorrow."

That's the kind of home I want my kids to grow up in. I have been legalistic, controlling, and critical towards their lack of perfection and I've had to repent and ask their forgiveness time and time again. God's grace and mercy cover over a multitude of things and when I choose to live there I can see the beauty happening around me. I can appreciate the wonder of small things going on all around me that show me that progress is really happening. Here are a few to get your heart started toward progress..........I'm going to count them as part of my 1000 gifts list, because that's what they are, little gifts in my imperfect world that the Lord gives me to remind me He loves me and loves the progress that I'm making. I can receive his gifts of mercy and extend them to others.

95. My son was finally allowed to run the lawnmower after a year of begging to be allowed to do so, the look of pure delight on his face as he worked was a gift, especially for this son who doesn't like to work much, and he did a great job, too.

96. Lightning flashing and thundering rumbling as the first drops of rain fall.

97. Eager faces pressed up against the window watching the 'light show', not complaining that our outdoor evening had to get taken inside (and not complaining about their tin-foil packet meals simply because they made them).

98. The sound of an army of 6 children fighting together an unseen foe.

99. The first pink lily turned its beautiful face to the sun (even with weeds surrounding it).

100. Standing with my children and enjoying the flowers...they didn't even notice the weeds, just the beauty that was there.

101. Sitting in the quonset with my oldest and youngest watching our pretty kitties come for their food. Jet black, gray and white, tabbies, so pretty, each unique.

102. Dewy sleep-warm cheeks pressed to mine early in the morning with soft kisses and lisping, "morning mommy..." coming from rose red lips.

103. The roots of weeds giving way before my fingers.

104. The first salad totally from my garden. Crisp lettuce, abundant dill, sharp green onions - a warm egg sliced on top with oil and vinegar dressing accompanied by homemade Italian cheese bread and butter, a little tomato soup made by my 8 year old on the side and a skor bit square for dessert. YUM!! No restaurant meal holds a candle to that.

105. The scent of fresh laundry coming off the line, drenched in sun.

106. The scent of pungent fresh dill........mmmmmmmmmmm love that smell.

107. Verbena and shea butter lotion, another heavenly scent.

108. Cooperation between two tiny people to perform the task of unloading the dishwasher, they entered the joy of working for the family wholeheartedly.

109. Jesus Loves Me sung at the top of 2 year old lungs.

110. Late evening walks hand in hand with the one I love.

111. Dogs protectively circling us as the coyotes howl.

112. A quiet house after a late evening walk.

113. Jasmine tea sipped out of beautiful cups purchased in Montreal.

114. Walking over 10000 steps in one day!

gifts (94)

78. A wonderful holiday to Montreal with my husband and big girl.

79. A very cozy bed while we were gone.

80. Happy accidents that put us in the right place for Abby and I get to be able to get around easily.

81. History - such a legacy our country has, truly a gift.

82. Wonderful folks who took care of our other children while we were away.

83. Summer camp!! Christopher had a great time.

84. Reunion - it is such a treat to see little legs churning as fast as they can to meet you with wild cries of, "Mommy!!" or "Daddy!!" on their lips.

85. Home - often I take HOME for granted, there are so many who do not know the concept of HOME, of safety and love and familiar walls that comfort you and cradle you. HOME is a gift.

86. Baking bread in my kitchen, the warm yeasty scent rising up to meet me.

87. The pungent scent of fresh herbs picked fresh off my counter to go into savoury bread.

88. Kelly was taking time to worship at the piano this morning, I woke to the sound of his beautiful voice rising in praise to the Lord, in the background I could hear the tiny warble of Elizabeth joining him in praise - a wonderful way to awaken.

89. For a delightful change all the children were delighted with the small gifts we brought back from our trip, no complaining, no comparing...just delight....a rare gift indeed.

90. The gift of many hands to share the labour, the house is quiet now as Kelly and five of the kids are out weeding in the gardens.

91. Rain in July, a rare commodity in our part of the world.

92. Vibrant green and yellow in the fields, healthy crops.

93. The view from my kitchen window, green healthy trees, contented dogs and children playing in the soft grass.

94. It truly is a gift to feast my eyes on the familiar things of my home, listen to the hum of the washing machine declaring that we are back, feeling the chair beneath me as I write, tasting the fruit of my labour in the kitchen - all these things are a gift to a travel weary soul.

picture gifts (77)

72. Elizabeth's first ponytails!
73. Pajama pants from mom/Grandma.
74. Got the quilt finished that I wanted to make for Kathrin to take home.
75. Canada Day! What an amazing country we live in! 76. Carebear and Firestarter who let us crash their party! What fun.
77. Family (I may have said it before but I'll say it again) - this is my husband's clan.

(71)

I am desperately tired at the moment. Why are holidays like that? We're in between events today. We got home from family camp last night - how good was that time? So much fun. Tomorrow we leave for our Montreal adventure. So exciting! HOwever, the washing, packing and unpacking have left me a little tired.

65. So thankful for my husband, who's birthday happens to be today. He never reads my blog but if he did, he'd see himself at the top of my list today. He is such an incredible gift to me. He could probably count for at least 100 of this 1000 gifts list easily.

66. The gift of family camp at Westbank Bible Camp. A wonderful holiday for our whole tribe.

67. Sisters - the biological ones, the in-law ones, the spiritual ones - who can live without a sister?

68. My son who turned 12 just the other day - a pleasure to call him my own.

69. The incredible gift of anticipation as each of our children gets ready for their adventures this week.

70. Grandma Camp - that's were my three little ones are headed, they can hardly wait...

71. Dear friends who are taking the other two boys.

last days

It's hard to be thankful today. It's Kathrin's last day with us. She has been such a gift to us I don't know what we will do without her around here. She has completely woven her way into our hearts, becoming one of our family. On the practical side, now that I've had the help I need around here I'm not sure how I'll stay a nice mommy and still keep up with all the demands of our house and yard. We'll keep praying that God will provide again, He certainly did a good job this time. Anyways it is time to start making her favorite supper, perogies and sausage.

1000 gifts (64)

55. Life giving gentle rain for our thirsty fields

56. life giving worship with fellow believers

57. ministry to my children that opens their hearts like flowers to the Son

58. angelic guardians watching over my hyper-active son to save him from death, literally

59. lovely red and white fabric that is becoming a beautiful Canadian quilt

60. quilting with my daughter as she painstakingly learns to whip-stitch her binding on

61. heart felt prayers from tender young lips

62. annointed dance that you know doesn't come from your flesh

63. coming home after being away

64. anticipation for adventures yet to come

Josiah's Quilt

Here are some pictures of Josiah's finished quilt. He picked the border colors, the boy's got good taste! The blocks came from Periwinkle's Saturday Suprise Sampler for this year. I love these colors. My man child is planning on moving downstairs this summer to his own room and wants to use brown and green to decorate his room. The bottom picture is my favorite block.

more gifts (54)

43. my husband is a gracious and generous man who decided this week to encourage me in a very practical way in the gifts that God has given me, I don't deserve the gift and I don't deserve him, but I am thankful anyway.

44. Which only serves to remind me of the gracious gifts the Lord gives each and every day, like patience on the days when my 2 year old is whining constantly and getting into everything sticky and gooey

45. my mother and her quilting machine!!

46. My homeschooling year is done and we did it well! That is truly a gift from the Lord.

47. Next year's resources are ordered, yet another gift from the Lord, the ability to make decisions and carry them out.

48. I am so thankful for the increased resources the Lord has blessed us with this year, we could never have imagined it was even possible.

49. walkathome.com has been a gift to me on the road to feeling better and having more energy

50. What a gift a small, close community is, when you can call someone and ask them to pick things up for you, or when you can do it for someone else, I love that so much.

51. Friends who are excited to have my children at their home and thank me for bringing them...how wonderful is that!

52. Little girls who know how to make lunch for everybody. KD, tuna and salsa, a really good combination.

53. A familiar voice that you haven't heard in a long time and sweet communion, there's nothing quite like that.

54. The sound of the dryer buzzing on the last load of laundry for the day!!

28. I am so thankful for weekends away. A true gift for a busy mom. Yes I had all my children with me and not my husband, but I was at my moms......

29. Where I don't have to worry about asking to use shampoo or soap or even her moisturizer, I'm at home and I am free to do what I like.

30. I am thankful for my mom's long-arm quilting machine with which I quilted my 12 year old man-child's coming of age queen size quilt in about 3 and a half hours!!! (not years, hours). what a blessing

31. I am blessed to have a wonderful niece (actually I have quite a few nieces that are wonderful) who I had the opportunity to worship with during the offeratory at her church on Sunday morning, God's annointing was present and it was so much fun to sing with her.

32. Scripture that is speaking right into the heart of where you are walking is a gift, particularly when it comes from a place you didn't expect it.

33. A sermon on greed and where our true love really is...

34. Sunshine, warm on your face and a cool breeze, wide open grassy lawns where children are running and playing with carefree abandon.....so sweet

35. My dad and his enormous garden and generous heart.

36. Being reunited with my husband after not seeing him for 4 days! So sweet to walk through our fields, hold hands, come back and sip tea and talk about everything and nothing.

37. The school bus is a gift some days.

38. A knee that can now bend at a 45 degree angle and is getting stronger everyday.

39. Accidents that are far less than what they might have been

40. A little book by Robin McGRaw on life lessons that was inspiring

41. Excellent devotionals that get to the heart of the matter.

42. my youngest in the throes of potty training...12 years of diaper changing might possibly be coming to an end

Exercise and eating

I have been complaining about my weight for quite some time now, as well as the fact that I am terribly unfit. On May 1 I quit whining and finally started doing something. I got an in-home walking video from Leslie Sansone's www.walkathome.com program. I really like it. Where we live the weather is extremely unpredictable and walking outside is not possible most days, this last month the wind would have levelled you!

My wonderful husband found an eating plan for me and ordered it. I find it difficult to fit into someone else's idea of what I should eat when but I've been trying to work with it. Why is it that following an eating plan is so much more expensive than eating the way I normally do? I really don't understand that. I was whining about the plan and he said you're either going to have to decide that you're doing it or not, it's up to you. Hmmmm so whining doesn't help eh? OK. The truth is, I feel better when I eat that way, my body likes it alot. My IBS likes it alot. On the days "off" I return to what I normally eat and I bloat and feel nastier. It's less work but maybe not so good for me.

The overall result for the month is that I've lost about 4-5 pounds. Not huge, mind-boggling results, but a start at least. I'm only trying to get rid of about 20-25 and get toned up, so maybe it's worth doing. I really do like my exercising part, it's great.

22. I am thankful that not ALL my flowers froze the other night, just a few of the several hundred that I planted.

23. Our apple trees are clothed in beautiful white dresses, they are so lovely.

24. It is truly a gift to be able to go visit my mom, dad, sister (and family) tomorrow.

25. Josiah's quilt top is finished and it is beautiful, I'm so pleased with it and he may even get it on his birthday as he steps into manhood!

26. My prayer chair, it isn't new or beautiful, a cast off from former days of glory. Every day it beckons me to come a sit awhile, let the words of God wash over my spirit and let my body catch up to my soul.

27. There is hope and I am so very thankful for that!

11. Brother and sister playing happily together rather than fighting.
12. "Open the eyes of my heart Lord" sung in warbling 4 year old as this active little boy snuggles into his blankets.
13. The power company DID make a mistake!
14. Teaching a 2 year old to pray.
15. Morning snuggles and gentle kisses and smiles from tiny bodies who crawled in after daddy went to work
16. The seeding is finally finished.
17. The wind has settled down so spraying can happen.
18. An unexpected call from my sweet sister-in-law.
19. Kathrin
20. Dancing again with a group of wonderful young ladies, exploring this art form for the very first time.
21. "Everlasting" sung by Brenton Brown

1000 gifts

I have to admit my frustration levels have been a little over the top lately. My cup has not been full and I have not been a good example of a godly woman lately. I've been bursting at the seams with problems and issues that need resolution and no idea how to resolve them. The trying and striving have been uppermost. And in the midst of this I've been teaching a women's Sunday School class and this morning I felt like the Lord wanted me to teach about grace. Grace to be Mary and Martha, grace to fail, grace to be weak and grace to not be perfect. I was convicted that my motivation in cleaning my house and correcting my children wasn't necessarily for their benefit but my own desire to look good. So I repent. In an effort to refocus my heart I want to count my blessings. Reminders of the gifts of grace that God gives me each and every day. To read more about 1000 gifts you can go to Holy Experience (link in the sidebar) who has encouraged many in this effort of gratitude.

So it begins:

1. I am thankful for my husband who has great taste in shoes! (I realized that the best pairs of shoes I've purchased in the last year are the ones he picked out for me)

2. Grace that goes where I cannot.

3. The precious knowledge that God is taking care of business and there are things that are simply not my responsibility.

4. Sam is getting his cast off tomorrow. Praise the Lord!

5. Rain in our dry and windy land.

6. The beauty of creation.

7. The opportunity to work shoulder to shoulder with God in making the world a prettier place to be.

8. cheese and bacon bagels

9. a really good cup of tea

10. Sunday afternoons

Have you started your own list yet?

The last 10 days...

So...my life is crazy ... as usual.

Sunday am - teach Sunday School, Soar Heartland report
Sunday pm - 20th birthday party for Kathrin, here
Monday am - ship some kids off in order to prepare for birthday party
Monday pm - birthday party for Abby with her friends
Tuesday am - Sasha at preschool, clean up party mess
Wednesday am - madly going through stuff to take to the rummage sale, get a call from the school, there's been an accident on the playground, Sam wants me, get all the rummage packed up and head to town, pick up Sam from school and head over to the clinic to see if he's okay
Wednesday pm - Sam is not okay, his leg is broken just above the knee, need to take him to Saskatoon to get casted, don't get home until midnight
Thursday - supposed to go to Bible study, I skip it 'cause I'm brain dead - need to take care of my son
Thursday evening - son #2 has a major blowout - I go for a walk in the cold in my slippers cause Im so stressed
Friday noon - niece, boyfriend and nephew arrive to spend the weekend.
Friday evening - all other adults leave the building for the youth group progressive supper, I stay home and referee fights end up playing computer games and watching a movie with niece and nephew late into the night
Saturday - try to do some laundry, get ready for baby shower in the evening, hang out with my niece and make cards
Saturday evening - host baby shower here
Sunday morning - passover with sunday school, Mexico mission trip report, potluck lunch at church
Sunday evening - host family birthday supper for Abby and Kathrin at our house
Monday - Kelly takes kids to dentist appointments in the city - I start working on the farm books - dad comes over to help, we realize there is a problem
Tuesday - continue to work on books with dad, there is still a problem
Tuesday evening - volunteer interview at church, quit doing farm books and play Ticket to Ride (much more enjoyable)
Wednesday - Kelly takes Sam to the city for follow up appointments, I will try to sort out the problem in the farm books
Thursday - I will go to school with sam so he can participate in the Kids Convention
Friday - I LEAVE FOR REDBERRY FOR AN ALL WEEKEND CRAFT RETREAT WITH MY FRIENDS AND NO KIDS, NO FARM BOOKS AND NO HOUSE TO TAKE CARE OF AND NO MINISTRY EXPECTATIONS (I'm a little excited about that and it's almost here)

The Painting of the House

The painting is finished and here are all the pics. We all love the change and finally feel like this house is really ours. Above is the computer station. All those shelves have finally organized an extremely 'hot' spot in our house, we're really enjoying this space. The counter top was a little God thing. I had 5 minutes to find that counter top at the ReStore, pay for it and get it loaded into my van - and we did it!

The Kitchen

Picture 1
At first I was a little concerned our kitchen would look like McDonalds but obviously it doesn't. It looks great! This is what you see when you walk in our front door. We were considering painting the cupboards since they were so dark but after the yellow was on it really drew out the golden tones in the cupboards, so they'll stay the way they are!

Picture 2
We painted and recovered our ugly chairs and they look soooooooooooo fabulous, this pic doesn't do them justice. We also recovered the benches in the breakfast nook. I used over 1000 staples doing those chairs and benches - it was so worth it. The fabric was a God-thing. I walked into Fabricland, saw one of my friends who works there, stopped to talk to her and told her why I was there, we looked down, saw this roll of fabric and I knew it was the one. It was also 70% off! I was in and out in about 15 minutes - probably my quickest fabric shop trip ever!!

Picture 3
You probably can't see the details on this wall because it's pretty subtle, but the word 'life' is painted on in 10 different languages. The cart was another gift from God. We wanted to take out one cupboard that blocked the kitchen and took up too much counter space so we needed to get something to hold those dishes. We decided on a cart but figured we were going to have to fork out quite a chunk of change for it but God showed me this one in Wal-Mart for only $150. That was a nice gift.

Picture 4
(It was baking day when I took these pics - hence all the baking stuff on the counters.)

The Bathroom

Top Picture

A friend of mine helped me antique the cabinet doors and then I stenciled the words and pictures on.

Middle Picture

More stencils and some Dollarama decorating pieces. The angels were a gift from Kathrin, they're so pretty.

Bottom Picture

The first little quilt I ever made!

Hallway and Porch

The hallway started out a much darker yellow but we didn't like it so we repainted it in this soft "Kelly Yellow".
The porch was rather painstaking to do the stripes free-hand. It took Kathrin several hours to do the first round. It's done in Almond and Olive Brown.

The Living Room

I love our living room! It's so peaceful and comfy. The colors in here are Olive Brown, Almond and Kelly Yellow. The inserts in the window frames are olive brown with tea-dyed cheese cloth wrapped around. I made the signs with stickers that my friend Sue gave me. I love the shelves, you can really see what is on them now.

The verse on the back wall is "Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." The cool thing about this room is that I've been in a bible study regarding the tabernacle and in the HOly place olives and almonds were very significant, I thought it was kind of interesting that those are the colors that we chose for this room.

We still have to figure out lighting and eventually we'll get new carpet and some chocolate brown leather furniture (that's the dream anyway!) Thanks for coming on my house tour!!

and the paint goes on

Shocking, it isn't even a month since my last post!!

So....this week we're doing the porch, the living room and the trim in the hallway. The red velvet drapes are down, the holes are filled, the shelves are primed and tomorrow morning Almond Wisp and Olive Brown will be filling my walls with color. The porch is also Almond Wisp and will have Olive Brown accents. We painted the paneling and will do the skinny stripe in the Olive Brown. The end of the paint is near. Then maybe we can actually clean up this house. My bedroom has been the dropping point for pretty much everything that I couldn't shove somewhere else!

I finished the decorative painting in the bathroom. I'll have to post pictures cause it looks really, really good!!! I just have to get Kelly to hang a corner shelf and that room is totally done.

Saturday will be a scrapbooking day. I've come to the realization that I will never be a true 'scrapbooker' - I just don't have time. But I'm going to enjoy doing what I can, when I can cause I love all the papers and textures and stickers and doo dads that I get to play with when I do it. It's also great fun to look at all the pictures again and put them in beautiful settings and visit with people I enjoy.

Oh yeah. I got to play on the worship team again cause their pianist cancelled on Saturday afternoon. I didn't pray for that I promise. However, there were some talk about making room for me on their team, how fun is that.

My big boy went to his very first junior high retreat this last weekend. That was bizarre. He can't really be that old yet. And he actually did things to impress some girls - that's a little scary to this mamma - he's always had good girl friends but I think this was a little different than that.

all the excitement in our house

THE LAST MONTH
Well, well, time certainly flies when you're not home! We've been down to Mexico and back. We built two houses for two wonderful families, stopped in Disneyland on the way home, lost my glasses somewhere in L.A., made it back to Saskatchewn just in time to head to Cypress Hills for a pastor's conference, back home again to go to Bible Study, Quilting, youth group and a fabulous training session called "Spiritual Protection for your Children".

THE LAST WEEK

Sunday morning I got to pinch hit on the piano for the worship team. Wow! That would never have happened before here. It was so fun and I felt God's annointing on me and I played songs I've never even played before with drums and a bass guitar even. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I want to do it again. I might have to do something to the pianist on a regular basis - hee hee.

That wasn't very Christian was it?

Then we started painting our main floor! Woo-hoo my kitchen is now a stunning yellow and red concoction, my hallways are a rich buttery cream. The bathroom is blue and brown. My living room and porch are next - olive brown and almond wisp here we come. We'll have to restrain ourselves on flooring and furniture but we'll survive to pay in cash when the time comes.
Tomorrow I head to the city to get new glasses, a hunk of countertop (hopefully), some shelves, blinds and a few odds and ends to finish the kitchen off. We painted the word 'life' in 9 different languages on my wall (English, French, German, Spanish/Portugese, Hebrew, Chinese, Africaans, Russian) You could actually count 10 cause one of the characters in the Chinese script is the same as Japanese.

SKIRT STORY
So my mom made this skirt at the Lord's leading for a pregnant mom down in Mexico. She sent it along with the little girl skirts and I was supposed to watch out for someone to give it to. Well, asking someone in your own language if they're pregnant is one thing, asking in Spanish is quite another, so I waited and watched. As the houses were finished we decided to give skirts to the families since between the two families there were 7 girls. When I got to the mom of the house I was building on we had a lovely time picking out skirts for her girls, during the course of our 'conversation' I discovered she was expecting!! I whipped out my mom's special skirt and gave it to her. I cried buckets. Then she went and got pictures of her dear little girls and showed them to me and told me their names - Lolita, Flor, ?? (couldn't understand or pronounce that one) and Esperanza (which means Hope). So cool! They should have their little girls back by now we hope in a comfy new house with pretty skirts.
We were able to give the rest of the skirts to the orphanage because the lady who runs it just 'happened' to come to the base the last night we were there. That was cool. Can't wait to do it again!

THE NEXT FEW WEEKS
IN a few weeks we head to Winnipeg with our youth group for another missions trip, very different from what we just did. Inner-city North America. The very cool thing is that we get to take our oldest son with us - and he actually wants to go! I have to admit I was looking with a longing heart at all the families that were together on our Mexico trip, hoping that one day we'd get to do that - and here we are, just a month later, introducing our son to something we love so much to do.

YEAH GOD NOTE
After the Spiritual Protection session we sat down with our kids to ask them fairly directly if they knew if they were a child of God or not. They ALL responded very positively including our dear sweet Kathrin, who was not a believer when she landed in our country. We are so excited to have another family member in the Lord!! She's coming on the Winnipeg trip, too. Yippee!

Life in the past few weeks

My how time flies when you're way busy!! Updates, updates...

The skirt sewing went really well, we have about 40 skirts to take to Mexico. Kathryn, our house guest from Germany, is fitting in beautifully. We all love her to pieces. She loves to play games so she fits in very well! We were playing Dutch Blitz one evening and she'd beaten Kelly and I soundly. She turns to Kelly and says, "Want to lose again?" I like that girl. She also love cheese in any form, sundried tomatoes, seafood and olives. She loves to read and craft, too. Definately a good fit!

We are getting a little confused in the language department as we teach Kathryn English, she teaches us German, I teach Abby French and try to learn Spanish songs for our trip to Mexico. Aye caramba, je ne fershtay pas!

We just got through a run with the flu. That wasn't so fun. I discovered during the many loads 0f laundry that the washing machine is a very effective tool for disintegrating Bibles. All that was left was the duct tape that had been holding it together.

Our new van is great, but we have to find some new seats for it! We don't have quite enough seating capacity in there, though it is very roomy. We could rent it out as a small theatre.

Life in ministry is busy and interesting. Next week we head to Mexico to build a couple of houses. On our way home they'll drop us off for the rural pastor's conference. A month after that we're taking a team of youth to Winnipeg with Soar Heartland to do inner-city missions exposure. Then the first weekend of May we'll go with the grads on a trip to Edmonton. PHew!!
In the meantime we're developing a servant leadership team among our youth and are thrilled with what we've seen so far. Breakthrough is very encouraging. We both teach sunday school so that helps round out our weeks.

OH don't forget we're farmers, so in there somewhere we have to ship grain, plan for seeding, get the machinery ready and seed. Yeah....so....

The kids go power-skating every week and have learned to love skating...can't say the same for myself. I still hate ice. They're all doing really well in their studies.

Since there's a blizzard going on...again...we've cancelled youth group and are staying home to eat junk food and watch movies. Such a hard life we lead.

Toodles!

Skirt sewing day

Tomorrow is sewing skirts day! I'm so excited. WE're sewing skirts to take down to Mexico when we go on our missions trip in February. I got the idea from Randi at I Have to Say. Got the instructions from Kuky Ideas (www.kukyideas.com) and have been drawing patterns, writing instructions, washing fabric and pressing it all week. Finally the day is here and we're going to sew up a bunch of skirts for some kids who could use it down in Mexico. Yeah. To make it better...my mama is coming, too. She's already got a dozen made (what a surprise!)

Bible adventures

Our wonderful German house guest has arrived and been with us for a week now. We absolutely love her, she is as sweet as they come! Her English is excellent, she is observant, thoughtful and flexible. I hope she can stand us for the next 5 months!!

Now that the press of the holiday season is over I am back to teaching Sunday School and have joined a Bible Study. Both have been requiring much study from me and I must confess...I love it. We're going back over the Angela Thomas material in Sunday School, working through parts of the sermon on the mount.

On Sunday as I was teaching I had a revelation that I couldn't quite wrap my head around at the time, but now as I think and ponder and study I have noticed that the heart conditions mentioned in the beatitudes are a progression of maturity. It's really quite fascinating. Take a look. At some point we realize that we're broken (poor in spirit), life has nailed us to the wall and we're falling in pieces, we need a Saviour. When we break we end up mourning the loss of what was, whether it was a person, an idea, ideal or dream. In the midst of our mourning we become humbled and look to the Saviour. As our souls are healed we begin to hunger and thirst after righteousness, we are satisfied and we realize how much we needed a saviour. We can be merciful, because we've been shown mercy. Because we have shown mercy, God will contiue to show mercy and we become pure in heart. Our hearts are made pure, they are at peace and we can bring that peace into the midst of others - we are peacemakers. However, in the midst of giving away the peace that Christ offers we will most likely get persecuted. After much persecution we are poor in spirit and once again the cycle begins, another step up towards Christlikeness. Another interesting tidbit is that the blessings are bookended by receiving the Kingdom of Heaven - with getting everything else inbetween. I am fascinated by this and am going to continue studying it.

IN our Bible Study we are studying the Tabernacle with Beth Moore in a study called, A Woman's HEart - God's Dwelling Place. This, too, is a fascinating study, bridging the whole of scripture, showing the incredible brilliance of God and His design. One little tidbit from that study. The curse that was given after Adam and Eve sinned in the garden was that the land would produce thorns and thistles for them. What did Jesus wear on his head as he hung on the cross? A crown of thorns. He literally took the curse on his head - isn't that amazing! God is so good.

Highlights of the week

The year started out in an adventersome way with adding an extra 5 kids and my husband flying off to the States. Tomorrow we go pick up a young lady from Germany who will be living with us for the next five months. She's here to learn the language, see the country and help me with my home. Should be an adventure!!!

So bet you're curious about the single parenting of 11 children, eh? Well, honestly, it went pretty well. It really is true that the more you have the easier it gets. Since the 5 that came have known my kids all their lives and all five pairs are best buddies, things were pretty sweet. The weather was perfect so they were out sledding and playing hockey or just cruising around the yard for a good chunk of the day.

I don't think I actually saw the girls for the first two days except when they poked their noses out to eat. Polly World took over my daughter's room and they were havin' fun.

There weren't too many mishaps, broken things or fights. There definately were some, just not an excessive amount.

There are some things you should know if you decide to have 11 kids. (BTW, except for one kid, it would have been physically possible for me to have given birth to all 11 of these kids).
- buy peanut butter in VERY large jars
- with 8 boys in the house it is imparitive that you check the toilet seat each and every time you think you might want to sit on that thing
- also check the floor and the walls, never assume that a wet spot in the bathroom came from water
- if you're making sandwiches for lunch, open three bags
- buy a lot of milk - I think we drank at least 2 4-litre jugs per day
- invest in hot chocolate powder
- more than one computer would have been handy unless you're willing to let them use your laptop (I wasn't)
- more than one TV/VCR/DVD thing is also handy
- very large washing machine is a gift from God himself
- make sure you have a sledding hill and a skating rink in close proximity
- don't plan on getting anything of major importance done when they're all home

Some highlights:
- everyone playing hide-n-seek on Is' birthday
- making a farmyard cake for Is' birthday with little cows, pigs and chickens sprinkles- too fun
- listening to the whole bunch of them play 'spies' - even the big boys got into it
- there was a point when all 11 children were outside and I was inside by myself - who would have thought that could happen!!
- didn't hear any food complaints (that may have been because I couldn't hear them!)
- playing Tickey to Ride and/or The Farming Game every evening with my big boys (and they are getting pretty big)

REally, God is gracious and allowed me to enjoy this week. My honey came home to an overflowing toilet because my own two little boys decided to stuff a diaper down it. I was so thankful that it happened then and not the day before that I couldn't really be that mad.

ps - I haven't actually seen the new van yet because it had to get inspected, etc. Kelly says it is very nice.

fresh flowers for Jan 2

In the Mood?
Copyright 2007, lani wiens
A fresh flowers original

This Christmas was going to be different, or so I thought. It was going to be full of peace and joy and family togetherness. This year I was prepared. I had the majority of my presents either purchased or ordered by the middle of November, or so I thought. Through the nagging, um encouragement of my daughter the house was decorated by the first of December. We were going to do something a little different since we threw out our old tree when we moved, we put up a “Jesse tree”. The Jesse tree advent celebration comes from the verse that states that out of the stump of Jesse a Messiah will come. So we got a dead branch out of the bush and set it up. We were going to follow the daily devotions as a family and this would point us to a great spiritual revelation of God’s love for us. We would all be filled with peace and joy this Christmas season, or so I thought.

I was so far ahead of the game that I even purchased ingredients to do baking. While I enjoy baking bread, I do NOT enjoy most other forms of baking. I find it rather pointless in my household. I can bake 32 dozen cookies and Tuesday and all that’s left by Thursday is the misshapen, broken bits at the bottom of the cookie jar.

I went on a little retreat at the beginning of December in order to do all my homemade gifts. It was a delightful weekend and I got tons done. I came home ready to face the busyness of banquets, programs and gift wrapping. I had purchased an alfalfa tonic to help with my fatigue (tasted terrible but it sure works). I had just finished teaching a wonderful Sunday school course that had me filled up and focused on the Lord. I was REALLY ready for these few weeks, or so I thought.

I even decided that this would be the year of the family picture card and newsletter sent out in hard copy rather than the electronic version I’ve been doing. Surely I would get an extra star in my crown for that. But I was so well prepared I knew it would be no problem.

Now here’s what really happened.

Apparently I’m getting a little forgetful in my old age. I managed to forget not just one but two gift lists. To keep it even, one on each side of the family. I wasn’t aware of the traditions in our small town so found out that all my boys would be involved in gift exchanges in their classrooms. I wasn’t aware that it was tradition that the kids in the Sunday school give their teachers gifts, dropped that ball, too.

Our spiritual revelation hasn’t come yet. The devotional set we chose was, unfortunately, a lot over our kids heads, it wasn’t the simple, homespun thing I thought it was. The up side of the family devotions, as chaotic and stressful as it was was that our son who has struggled with reading willingly took his turn reading scripture – most of the time.

Every time we saw a green Christmas tree or decorations, my youngest son didn’t waste time telling me that we ought to decorate our house that way. It was a constant reminder that my decorating was woefully inadequate in his estimation. I told him that when he and the other children were bigger and there were a lot less flying objects in our house, maybe our house would be decorated like that, too.

Those baking ingredients haven’t been used. The only extra baking I managed to get in besides the super easy whipped shortbread I made for the youth group was from purchased cookie dough that I managed to burn. Apparently without the investment of mixing ingredients my psyche can’t deal with the pressure of watching cookies.

I realized too late that it isn’t the big gifts that will do you in, it’s the little odds and ends; the school pictures, the Christmas cards, the little gift exchanges, the endless list of people who do things for you that you take for granted the rest of the year that you suddenly decide you want to recognize, the wrapping and all the other myriad things that need to get done. No anti-fatigue tonic can help you when you stay up late every night and run yourself ragged all day.

The Christmas cards, while a great idea, proved to be a much larger task than we thought with our desire to send a card to all our friends in our old church, giving them to the new church friends as well as long distance friends and of course all the relatives. Searching out addresses and figuring out how to save on postage by hand-delivery proved to be a monumental task. Worth it? Certainly, but I’m guessing it may not happen again soon.

Yes, this mama was not happy and you know how the saying goes, when mama ain;t happy, ain’t nobody happy. My homeschooling schedule went right out the window causing me more stress. The house became a little more than chaotic and I seemed to just be stressed and yelling at everyone. Joy and peace were not resident and it largely had to do with me. This was not what I had envisioned. I was definitely NOT in the mood for Christmas, I was ready to give up on the whole idea.

But God hadn’t given up on me, even though I was pretty sure that I wasn’t bringing Him any blessing at this point. One evening after I had run around helping one child with his wrapping, another with a sewing project, listening to the baby cry and flung myself down on the lower bunk to sing Jesus songs so my little boys would go to sleep so I could go back to my sewing machine, wrapping and cleaning. I was part way through Jesus Loves Me when the Holy Spirit began to convict me of my heart’s attitude. I flung around in my memory for a song that I could sing and mean. Jesus, Be the Centre is what came to mind...”be the fire in my heart, be the wind in my sails, be the reason that I live, Jesus” Then the Spirit led me to...”you are my strength when I am weak, you are treasure that I seek, you are my all in all. When I am down you pick me up, when I am dry you fill my cup, you are my all in all. Jesus, lamb of God, Holy is Your Name.” By this time, my heart was streaming with tears even though my eyes weren’t, I no longer cared if my boys were sleeping I was finally where I belonged, at the feet of the One who came, lying in the manger, wrapped in His arms of love. “It’s all about you Jesus, and all this is for You.”

I emerged from the Holy of Holies with a new attitude and a new heart. My three youngest babies were sleeping, one sibling was helping another. My husband and oldest son came home to a new atmosphere that was almost tangible. My husband was greatly relieved, he had become concerned with my frantic pace and snippy countenance. While the list of things to do hadn’t changed, my heart had completely transformed. Joy and peace on earth were possible again. Christmas came back in a manger, in the dark of my boys’ messy bedroom. Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness to us, even when we completely forget why we’re doing all this running around. Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.

the adventure begins

The adventures of the new year have officially begun! We started off with adopting 5 kids for a few days. Our dear friends just had a baby (Dec 18) and the poor little fellow is back in the hospital, he isn't thriving the way they'd like so the doctors are conducting a multitude of tests to determine what is causing the problems. In the meantime, his older brothers and sister are here with us. Our kids are delighted as these are their best friends, more like extra brothers and sister really. So here we are one mommy and 11 kids, so far it's been very good.

Where is the daddy? Winging his way to Philadelphia to get our new van. We purchased a van on e-bay so DH and his dad are heading down there to drive it home. While I don't envy the 33+ hours of driving they're going to do to get it home, I am jealous of the route he plans to take home - right through Lancaster County. I told him if he came anywhere near a quilt shop he at least had to go in and get me a little bit of cloth. He promised he would.

Happy New Year everyone!

Exciting news

Yesterday was a pretty exciting day around here. We waited on pins and needles all day waiting for news from our friends on the birth of their baby. Well, he's here!! Ethan Isaac was born at 4:10 in the afternoon, 8.15 lbs, 21". It wasn't an easy birth but we're glad it's over!!

Then a little later in the evening we got the news that we won the e-bay auction we were in. We are now the owners of a new van - okay not new new - a 1998 Savanna. It has capacity for 10, 4 bucket seats, a converted top with a TV and VCR in it. We'll post pictures once it's here. Only drawback is that Kelly has to fly to Pennsylvania to pick it up. The good news, we paid for the whole thing, so no new payments or anything - we are so excited about that!

Gotta get the herd fed...

fresh flowers for December 13

Can't think of a title
copyright 2007, lani wiens
a fresh flowers original

I didn't know when I became a mother what exactly would be required of me. If someone had told me there is a possibility that I may not have signed up. At this very moment my two oldest sons are sending lego to every corner of my basement with the catapults they just built. Then they come up giggling, thinking I have not heard their war cries and the lego hitting the walls. I say, "Are you planning to clean up the lego that you just sent to the far reaches of the basement?"
"You could hear that?" they ask incredulously, "How did you do that?"
"I'm a mother," I reply, "we're wired for that."

Apparently I am also wired to be a GPS unit for every single toy, piece of clothing, book and paper that we own. If someone can't find something, rather than look for it themselves, they simply ask me. The scary part is that nine times out of ten I actually know where the item is. For example: Boy #2 comes racing into the kitchen while I am preparing supper. "Mom, mom, where's Jack?" I race through the Rolodex in my head trying to think of who Jack might be, currently I don't know any Jacks and wouldn't know where they were if I did know one. I innocently ask, "Jack who?"
"Jack Sparrow, of course."
Of course Jack Sparrow, how could I be so silly, "He's under the table."
"Thanks mom."

There are new decorating themes that you should get used to as a mom. My most recent, cheese on soft green wall. How the cheese got there, I'm not even going to guess. Let's see what else have we discovered? Toothpaste texture on the bathroom counter. Shaving cream studded sinks. That was just today. Let's not forget the ever popular permanent marker primitive drawings and did you know that dry erase markers are not erasable on most walls? Glue stick makes for nice wall texture as well! My computer moniter has a distinctive border in grafite, a little brown marker and what's that in the corner...fly poop.

There are things that come out of your mouth that you may never would have imagined would become part of your daily speech. Questions like, "Who peed in the ___________?" We have personally filled in that blank with; the garbage can, the toy box, the tub, various pails and a can of nails.

I am a professional lie detector. I can spot a fib at 50 paces. I could get a job with the police department. Put that together with my super sonic hearing and my ability to remember who does what when and I should be worth my weight in gold.

I love being a mom most days, really I do. I'm awfully glad God is so much better at this than I am. I only have to keep up with 6 not 6 billion. As you wait on His coming this season may you pause in amazement at the incredible gift that God has given us. He personally, hears us, knows where we are at all times, answers every crazy question we have, spots us in our lies and lovingly corrects, directs and comforts us every single minute of the day.

Blessings to you and yours this glorious Christmas season.

The more I use Facebook the less I like it. It's impersonal and time-consuming. The only really good bit is Scrabulous. That, and the fact that I connected with a few old friends I haven't seen this decade. Anyways, enough sour notes.

Getting ready for Christmas this year has actually been fun. We have been able to purchase some very fun gifts for our kids and others, that has been a blessing. The simple fact that I'm not stressing out about every penny goes a long way to keeping this mommy happy.

Right now I'm enjoying a cuddle with my baby girl. I love that she still wants to sit on my lap for long periods of time, is mostly not demanding and loves to give hugs. IT is, however, difficult to type, so I guess I'm done.

fresh flowers for December 6

The Promised Land
copyright, lani wiens, 2007
a fresh flowers original

Over here in the promised land the flowers seem to be blooming less than normal. Perhaps winter has been a little harsh on the posies lately. I've been ruminating on the promised land life and wondering what it might have been like for the Israelites way back then. You would hope that once you get to the promised land you'd have it made in the shade, milk and honey everywhere, new houses that might be a little more permanent, out of the hostile desert and into some treed areas. Now that I'm in our promised land I've been making a few observations.

1. The promised land requires some elbow grease.

So here we are, fresh over the Jordan and what do we run into...Jericho. A big, walled city that we are now required to inhabit. Apparently God does not see this as a problem, but an opportunity to remind his followers that He is still in the picture and life will still require faith to live. Yes, we feel like we are currently living in the promises that God made us a long time ago. Sometimes the amount of work required to live here is staggering. But is it worth it? I'm guessing when the Israelites got to plunder Jericho they weren't complaining! We're not complaining either.

2. The promised land can be intimidating.

The giants over here in the promised land are mighty big. The good thing is that the God of David is still on the throne and a small smooth stone of obedience can bring down the biggest giant we face. We just watched Facing The Giants (an excellent movie, we highly recommend it) and were moved to tears as we watched the actors face many of the same giants we've faced in our lifetime. It brought us to the realization that we have overcome much through the hand of God. The giants will keep coming, but if we're willing to give it our all, to lay ourselves on the altar of obedience, God will fight for us. We will continue to honor Him, whether we win or lose.

3. The promised land can be lonely.

It's all new people in the promised land. In order to get here we had to cross the Jordan, while our friends came to see us off, they stayed on the other side, they have their own promised land to get to. As we put down roots and build new relationships we miss the proximity and closeness of what we had. However, God is on this side of the river as well, He will never leave us or forsake us, He will help us move in and move on.

4. The promised land can be expensive.

Back in the desert things didn't wear out. Stuff showed up just when we needed it, sometimes right outside our door. However, God is saying that particular brand of provision isn't necessary anymore. We need to begin to replace the things we came with for new things that are approriate for this land. Our eyes are being opened to how worn out and ragged some of our things are. We are so thankful for the provision that God has made in the past and for the new kind of provision He is making now. There are times where I long for the old kind of provision but I'm learning to enjoy the new kind as well, it still requires faith to believe. It's a new land and a new lesson to learn.

5. The promised land requires adjustments.

Things were pretty comfortable in the desert, or at least familiar. There's a whole new way of doing things over here. New ways of being. Things are NOT the same. You are only allowed to say, "When I lived in the desert we did..." so many times before it isn't allowed anymore. It's time to adjust to the new land, the new ways, adapt to the customs, learn the language and become part of this new country. We have applied for citizenship in this new land of promise.

So many of the things we have dreamed of are happening right before our eyes. We lived for such a long time feeling like we were just on the edge of something and suddenly we're there. The tags are still a little scratchy and we don't feel like we've quite worn things in yet, there are days we wish we were back in the land of familiar, but being in the promised land is good. Very good.